Edward Elric Discovers Fanfiction!

Short drabbles. Present tense. To make you feel special. And me special. DUH. And because this is in our world, my people… my friends, you shall be in it.



Edward stares curiously at the flat screen in front of him. He screws his eyes.

"Faaanfiction?" He mutters as he types the suggested link onto the screen. If Sarah Lee recommends it… why not try it out?

Roy sips on his coffee a few metres away. He flaps like a wing his white blouse as he lazily flickers an eye towards Fullmetal. He settles his feet on the round table at front. He 'hmmmhm's. "Fullmetal, how is your report going?"

Ever since that underdog failed to hand in his report due two years, seven months, three weeks, three days, twenty-two hours, twenty-seven minutes ago, Roy promised he would basically sit there waiting for it.

Fullmetal tries a diversion, alt+tabbing the loading Internet Explorer. "Err…. I… uuh… how do you spell 'Shambalabalamba'?"

Roy cocks an eyebrow. "S-h-a-m-b-a-l-a-b-a-m-b-a." Which was also wrong.

Fullmetal fake types the word then reverts his attention to the loaded page. He grins slyly to himself. "Fanfiction."

Roy twitches. "What? Fullmetal… Fan-what?"

"F-fanfares." Edward clicks 'anime' on the drop down.

Roy's confused. "There were fanfares going about in Ishbal that time you went there?" His mouth curves acutely into a figure-eight. Fullmetal mumbles "ahur yessir there was." And begins skimming the list of Japanese Animation. He's sure he is there somewhere. E… E… no Edward Elric. He glances at F: Fullmetal Alchemist. Dangit, he didn't get his own category. Pouting, he clicks on it and twirls his spinny chair to face Taisa.

"Colonel Chicken." He whines. "Give me a break."

Roy grins and slaps a Kit Kat towards Edward. "Have a Kitkat."

Fullmetal was not going to get out of this easily. "Hurry, it's two years, seven months, three weeks, three days, twenty-two hours, thirty-one minutes late, Fullmetal. Time is clocking. Do I have to do something else to hurry you up?"

Roy is unaware of Edward's discovery of Fanfiction.

Edward grunts and turn around. The pages of Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction isspilling down. Word by word, row by row, story by story.

He glazes his finger on top of 'A Mother's love' then thought better. He snickers when he sees a Roy x Riza. Scrolling down he freezes:

Green Leaf Spa

RoyEd Yaoi Shounen Ai Shouta Crack Fic What happens when Roy and Ed get magically transported to a Gay spa? Hilarity ensures.


"Hey Ed." He flicks his head immediately at the sudden sound.


"Edward… I don't think you're working fast enough. I might have to start stripping just to get you to work." Roy unbuttons his top button. He's getting comfy.

Edward bites his lip and flushes, stiffly turning back to the screen.

How was it?

Want to be in the story? Well review,

I might surf you and include you.

If you like it enough.

I shall write more chapters.

I do have evil plans.