Haha! I haven't updated in… HOW LONG?

So here is a long chapter.

OoO

Edward looks at Al who grins at him.

Oh, wait… he's frowning.

No smiling.

Uuh, frowning. Smiling.

Frowning.

Smiling.FrowningSmilingfrowningsmilefrown. Then Ed gets really confused.

"Argh! Stop that!" He chucks a fit. Girlfriend style.

"Stop what?!" Al retorts defensively. Boyfriend style.

"Smiling and frowning every millisecond!"

"I am?"

"Yes you are!"

Unbeknown to Ed, Al is still quite nervous about the cats… wondering what in the world they were pissing on right now.

Edward doesn't notice one bit and glues his eyes on the screen.

shfhgj by E. Elric if you're reading this I'm a pervert

LIK plz rid an revew thiz ukie

Click.

Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Reviews: 9 - Published: 06-28-06 - Updated: 08-03-06

uki u clik l1ink. thnku I will use prOp3r englesh nOw11 btw tru store!1q1 I wil oouze porp3r CpItLs221

--

Sumtimes it is bad to ask fulmetal to gu shoppin. I ask him 1 dey so he went. W2e went to k-mart and it was so hot – no, i was soooo hot - that I tuk off mah shirt becuz I alweyz like to strip in frunt of eD and d pooblic. Becuz they all go Ga-gA ROOYEYY!

ZO I WAS HAPPI WHEN 1 F4ng1irl stok on2 mah lreg n woldn't get off unless I gav her 5 milll $$ but that was OK cuz I took it out of fulmetals salary. So happi I cantorture my workers.then fulmetal went GAGA b ecuz the girel had puled mah panties off but I was happiee becoz everyone was luking t mi.

So I continu welking and someone gav mi towel butt being sozoo kind I giv it bak. I m zo thogtful. U shuld c4ll me 064 7892 384. oki I mihgtt takee pants off 4 u.

Fulmetal wez zo red he wen t n tuk mi to tne bathers section and ferst gav mi a bikini. I wez so flattored but I refused sahying 'oh I no imma sexy butr I aren't a transvestite.' N hnand it bak 2 him. He wez so shock. Sorry ed,

He so uffendedd he gav me a pauer of speedos. I lik speedos so I Wer it. I luk VERJy sexcay., ui possed in front of the kmart camera. Iprobablee make scuerity uncocisicioues.

Becuz it luk zo gud on ME. Eeriowri I YEAH. I boghth 1 fer fulmeerjk. So wen he go2 beach evreuyone can have nose-bleedsasd and go gagA.

I kno I wil.

--

Oki I hop itgoodosiore.

Next epsidoe:

one day ed went to beach to meet his friends, dree sheLlz

That would almost be a no comment until Edward turns to Al, exclaiming:

"I can't believe it! I can't believe it! He wrote that!!" He pouts and crosses his arms. "He promised not to tell anyone…!!!" Then realises what he had just confessed. "Ohmigod." Edward gulps and hits Al's had, causing effective Amnesia so he would forget. Relieved, he leans back on his chair… not knowing he has just smashed Al's morality for confession timing.

"Ah… big brother, I have something very important to tell you…" He begins.

Edward, loving his brother very much puts on a brave smile and leans in a little. "Yes?"

"Do you know that cats are very important creatures in society? They can hunt down a lot of little rodents and so we don't have to exterminate them ourselves with their very icky gut collapsing over our shoes -"

His brother cut in. "Yes…"

"Ah! Do you know that cats are important even in history? Yes? Yes? Very popular in Egypt, a symbol of not only power but femininity so–"

"Yes!"

"- and that they lick everything off the floors, even if they pee, you know. So it's okay, right umm mmhm…"

"Uuh… yes."

Al takes a deep breath.

"Ah, yesterday I went to the pet shop and saw this really cute cat and because it had the best golden eyes ever – just like you, I saw its mother, which had eyes exactly like Tai – auuh, Barbie – and so then I bought their whole family and took them home but… they have very messed up family and to complete a successful social cycle f cats, you also need to have their enemies in which a lot of other cats chased them and had lots of cat fights balancing te ecosystem of life – life and death – and they were scratching and biting so I bought them all and in the end I have thirty-five cats in a single 20 cm by 20 cm box. You know, that box where you got that computer on."

Ed didn't move. Oh, except his tongue dribbling some sort of pre-death liquid.

"Ah… yes, about them… I put them in your apartment."

"Pardon?"

"I put them in your apartment."

"Pardon?"

"I put them in your apartment."

"Pardon?"

"I put them in your apartment."

"Pardon?"

Al sighs and shouts. "I PUT THEM IN YOUR APARTMENT SO THEY CAN EAT, PEE AND SCRATCH EVERYTHING THERE. Oops."

Al's face reddens and he runs out of the room, colliding into Barbie who had been wandering pantless in search for his pants.

"Edwaaaaaaaard?" Barbie demands. "Where are my pants?!"

But Edward doesn't reply. He grabs his coat, drinks Barbie's coffee and heads out the door in pursue of Al. The same word repeating over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over in his head…

My apartment.

Enraged that he was ignored, Barbie follows Ed outside headquarters.

My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment. My apartment.

And quietly, because they hadn't locked the door or turned off Barbie's computer… two very slim shady characters entered the military's base. Both muttering to each other:

"What the hell are we doing in a Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction??!! WE LOVE HARRY POTTER. HARRY HARRY HARRY HARRRY HARRRYYY!!! HURRAAAY!!"

They see 'E. Elric if you're reading this I'm a pervert' and immediately, they're on a mission to sabotage the whole Fullmetal Alchemist fanbase system.

OMG.

CAN THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST FANFICTION WRITER CLUB STOP THESE TWO HARRY POTTER FANFICTION WRITER CLUB MEMERS IN TIME… WHILE BARBIE RUNS PANTLESS ACROSS CENTRAL FOLLOWING ED TO HIS APARTMENT??

"Oh, Ed's apartment, eh?" Sarah raises her eyebrow, pointing her binoculars to the boy's direction instead of the Harry People.

Pichi Wo smacks her head. "CONCENTRATE!!"

OoO

You probably don't care if I have evil plans, right?

If people don't like this.

I won't update. Simple.