Spock: May I have a word with you, Doctor?

McCoy: Yes, elf?

Spock: There have been rumors going around the ship…about myself…and you.

McCoy: Rumors of what nature?

Spock: Homosexual.

McCoy: …

Spock: Precisely.

McCoy: Hmm. This is…awkward.

Spock: It seems illogical that the crew would have any such reason to believe that we are…involved.

McCoy: Yeah. They should know I hate your guts.

Spock: …

McCoy: In a friendly way.

Spock: Indeed.

Kirk: Hey, Bones could you—Oh. Sorry to interrupt you two…(snicker)

McCoy: Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor, not a homosexual!

Spock: Captain the good doctor and I were previously engaged in a conversation as to the fallacy of certain rumors being spread of our sexual involvement. We would like for the rest of the ship to know that we both are not 'gay.'

Kirk: Oh.

McCoy: What do you mean, oh? You actually believed the rest of the crew?

Kirk: No, no, I was just…disappointed.

Spock: (eyebrows)

McCoy: (eyebrows)

Kirk: Don't look at me like that!

Spock: Captain, I—

McCoy: He's straight, Jim.

Kirk: Aw, shucks. I knew it!

McCoy: (pause) Uh oh…

Spock: Fascinating.