Starting Over

(I hate comin up with these damn titles. I need a beta-writer-person.) Any-hoo I had an epiphany! Although I doubt coming up with this idea while drifting in and out of consciousness nauseous and listening to Melissa Ethridge counts as an epiphany. Either way, thank gawd for small favors, huh?

Disclaimer: Does…L Word… Ilene…don't own…just rearrange those till they make a reasonable disclaimer. I don't care anymore.

O/A/N: before I forget I just wanna tell the 2 idiots who left fruity reviews on my Karen/Deb OTH fic to go suck an egg. It was the very first fic of it's kind on this site, so screw you guys. iftheyonlyknewthetruth: thanks for your review hun! Ooh, I'm gonna get in trouble for replying to reviews in a story ooooh!

…Umm, I have no clue what the hell Bette is doing for money these days so she's still working for the CAC…wait, she's not a hooker or anything is she? Lol, OK I'll start the story now, sorry.

(one more thing, promise. F--k is spelt fcuk in this story because I don't wanna say it. I know how to spell it, trust me.)


Bette stepped into the house and slammed the door behind her, exhausted. She had had a rough day at the museum. Franklin had her and Leo in and out of meetings all day with a video conference call from the gallery in Paris squeezed in somewhere in between. She hated spending so much time with Leo and Franklin knew it. The man just didn't know when to step off and mind his own damn business, constantly asking her what she was doing and how her life was going. 'Well if you really must know it's going to hell thank you so very much for asking, Leo.'

She shook the thought out her head. Mentally telling herself not to worry about it anymore because she was home. She had Chinese take-out and the rest of her novel awaiting her. Just a quiet night at home.

'God my life is dull.'

Suddenly Tina walked in from the kitchen munching on a piece of celery.

"Babe would you mind not making so much noise? I just got Angelica to sleep. She's been cranky all day." She requested and gave a very perplexed looking Bette a kiss.

Tina looked down at the take-out bag in her hand and groaned. "What are you doing with take-out? I told you I was cooking tonight."

Bette raised an eyebrow. What was Tina doing here this time of night? Cooking no less! She should've been over at…well let's just say the conniving-bastard's, house. Maybe they got into a fight.

"Uh…Tina…what the hell are you doing here?" She voiced her thoughts as she set her things down next to the couch.

Tina got flustered at hearing this. "What do you mean 'what am I doing here'? Did we have plans tonight or something? Omigod! Alice's dinner thing was tonight, wasn't it? Oh no, wait, that's Monday."

"No, I mean, what are you doing here in my house? Why aren't you at…home with Henry?"

"Who's Henry?"

"This isn't the least bit amusing Tina. Now if you two are in a fight I'm sorry but you are just going to have to stay somewhere else because I refuse to…"

Tina cut her off. "Bette, what the hell are you talking about? We don't even know any Henry's and even if we did why the fcuk would I be living with him?" She was looking at her like she was crazy which probably mirrored the look Bette was giving her back.

"I need a drink." She muttered before walking past Tina and into the kitchen. She opened the bottle of wine that had been set out and filled the glass almost to the top.

"What's going on here? Did something happen at the museum today?"

Bette didn't look up from her drink. She was trying to figure out why Tina was doing this to her.



"Dammit Bette answer me!"

Bette finally looked up at her. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say Tina! I don't know why the hell you are standing here telling me that there is no-Henry and making me sound like the crazy one! If this is just your sick way of trying to make-up for cheating on me…"

"…Bette, I would never cheat on you, especially not with a man. Why would you even think that?"

"Because it's what happened!" Bette slammed her hand down on the counter.

It got quiet for a minute before baby Angelica started crying in the other room.

"Great, just-fcuking-great!" Tina complained through gritted teeth and stormed off into the other room without even giving Bette another glance.

'Why is this happening to me?' Bette wondered and rubbed her temples before filling her wine glass up again and went to sit in the living room to sort things out in her mind.


It was almost an hour and a half later before Bette walked into Angelica's room only to see Tina sitting on the floor holding their daughter in her lap while she played with her favorite stuffed animal, babbling every once in awhile.

Bette smiled proudly. This is what she missed. Being with her two favorite girls. While she was in the other room she came to the conclusion that either A: Tina was lying to her and it probably had something to do with Henry, or B: Tina wasn't lying and Bette really was going insane.


Tina looked up briefly.


The brunette went over and sat down next to Tina. The two watched Angelica play for what felt like forever before Tina broke the silence.

"Were you serious? A-about what you said."

"Yea…I think I was." Bette replied quietly, handing the baby back her toy, which she had dropped. Earning a big grin from the girl.

"You think? See Bette- that scares me. I don't know where in the world you came up with all of this. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's nightmares, or maybe you just don't trust me."

Bette could hear the pain in her voice. "T, I trust you. I really do."

"Then why are you accusing me of sleeping with someone else?"

"I don't know…Tina I swear I don't know. But…." She paused and looked at the blonde. "I was thinking of going to see Dan Foxworthy tomorrow morning. I know we haven't been to him in awhile but I'm sure he'll se me for the right price."

"That's great Bette,"

Bette just nodded. Tina knew Bette had never been one for therapy so her volunteering so readily was just amazing. She reached over and grabbed her hand.

"I would never hurt you babe." She tried to assure her. Bette smiled, feeling her brown eyes well up with tears. She couldn't stop praying that this wasn't a dream; that she'd wake up soon and Tina wouldn't be there.

"I love you,"

"I love you too," Tina leaned over and kissed her softly. When they separated Angelica had managed to grab a hold of one of Bette's curls.

"Ow, ow, ow." She whimpered and untangled the little girl's hand.

Tina giggled.

"You wanna hold her?" She offered.

"Always," Bette smiled, kissing Angelica on the cheek then setting her in her lap. "Hi baby," She cooed.


The next morning Bette dropped Tina and Angie off at the Planet and headed straight to Dan Foxworthy's office, but not before calling Franklin and taking a personal day. If everything turned out ok she planned to spend the rest of the day with her family. She had kept Tina up half the night ranting about all the things she wanted them to do and Tina just smiled and nodded supportively.

"Hello, my name is Bette Porter and I have an appointment with Dan Foxworthy." Bette told the receptionist when she walked into the small office.

"Oh yes, just go right through that door." She pointed to her left.

"Thanks," Bette nodded and walked off.

"Bette! Nice to see you again." Dan stood up from his chair and shook her hand as she sat down on the couch.

"You too Dan, thank you for seeing me on such sort notice."

"Don't mention it. I have to admit, I was a little surprised to hear from you considering the fact that you weren't so enthusiastic to come the first time we met."

"Well, something odd happened and I thought that I'd better talk to someone." She admitted, folding her hands in her lap.

"Really? Why don't you tell me how you and Tina have been since you last came to me."

"Tina and I reconciled." She beamed, remembering when Tina had told her that she wanted them to try again. She had been so happy.

"That's wonderful." Dan smiled.

Bette nodded. "She had a little girl not long after that. We named her Angelica…."

Dan spent the next half-hour listening to Bette explain why she had come before he finished his notes and cleared his throat.

"Bette I think the reason you're having these hallucinations is because you're afraid of getting hurt. You're afraid that Tina will try to get back at you for having your affair by doing the very same thing."

"So do you think I'm just imagining it? Maybe even dreaming it?" Bette asked, getting slightly uncomfortably, not ready for him to say 'No'.

"Possibly yes. See you told me that Tina had actually left you for Henry. You said she moved out of the house to live with him but when you came home last night she was there and everything was as it was before she supposedly had the affair. Personally, I think that your work is causing you so much stress that when you dream you're tapping into that fear of her getting even and thinking it's reality."

"Wow, Dan, that actually makes sense. My boss has had me under a lot of stress these past few months."

"And that would explain why these nightmares are surfacing now. Because the last time you were under so much stress at work you had your affair with…with…" He paused, trying to remember her name.

"Candace," Bette grumbled unenthusiastically.

"Right, Candace. Anyway, that would explain why you are so afraid of Tina doing the same to you."

"Omigod, what a relief. So, what you're saying is, I should take a sabbatical?" Bette couldn't help but smile.

"Something along those lines." Dan nodded before glancing down at his watch. "Just in time, our session is over." He stood up. "Would you like to schedule another one?"

"No, that's ok." Bette stood up and grabbed her purse.

Dan stuck out his hand but instead of taking it Bette hugged him. Which was totally unlike her.

"Thank you so much Dan. I don't know how to repay you." She was still smiling like crazy.

"I'm just doing my job Bette."


"T I'm home!" Bette called when she came practically bouncing in the door.

Tina walked out of their bedroom carrying Angelica.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Tina asked as Bette hugged them both.


Bette followed Tina into the kitchen where she pulled a bottle out of the fridge and put it in the microwave.

"You wanna tell me about it while I give her lunch?" She motioned to the baby.


A few minutes later Tina was rocking a sleeping Angelica back and forth while her and Bette sat on the couch.

Tina set the bottle on the sidetable. "I'm glad you got it worked out."

"Me too, I even stopped by work on the way home and talked Franklin into giving me a couple weeks off."

"Was he angry?"

Bette took a drink of her tea before nodding. "Oh he was furious. But I told him that my family was more important than some overbearing French donor who we don't even need anyway."

"Wow, that's new. You should be proud." Tina chuckled.

"I am," She tried to keep a serious face.

Tin sighed. "So, what do you want to do when Angelica wakes up?"

"I was thinking maybe we could take her to the zoo. I think she'd love that."

"Yea she would." The blonde agreed and laid her head on Bette's shoulder.

"Hey babe?"


"Next time, if you're going to accuse me of cheating…can you at least make it a woman?" She looked up at Bette and winked.

Bette kissed the top of her head. "Sure thing T."


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