Sneezii: Yay! I actually had time to write another fic! Even if it is just another 'short' oneshot! But it's an achievement that I'm proud of coz I'm still in high school (and all my homework is piling up) and I can still write! And this is my first attempt at writing a kissing scene and being completely clueless and inexperienced in kissing, I've relied mainly on the kissing scenes that I've read in other fics. Please be nice :hopeful:. And thank you to everyone whoreviewed my previous fics!
Anyway this is set after the Final Judgment with Yue and Sakura transformed all the Cards. The only difference is that Syaoran never said that he loved Sakura and the 2nd Movie never happened. Ummmm... Oh! They're also in high school and this is what happens when Sakura is the first to admit her feelings.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own CCS, CLAMP does.
Syaoran sat down on the branches of one of his favorite trees in Penguin Park; the biggest cherry blossom tree there that was unofficially his and Sakura's. His eyes scanned the lovely view as a gentle breeze teased his messy chocolate-brown hair and blew cherry blossoms petals around in serene swirls. The weather was a nice and warm with the gentle breeze to cool you down, just like every transition from day to night during spring.
Syaoran sighed and leaned back against the trunk of the tree until a little auburn-haired dot near the edge of Penguin Park caught his attention. Although he couldn't quite see who it was, he knew it was Sakura, the Card Mistress who had stolen his heart and naïvely never noticed.
Her blatantly obvious aura was a gentle pink that flared around her with the same curiosity and intrigue that she showed to everyone and thing. A simple flower would manage to captivate her and she would cheerfully exclaim over its beauty. Walking anywhere with her managed to open your eyes to every last detail of a place that you never noticed even if you'd been there thousands of times.
Syaoran watched as Sakura walked along the pathway saying hello to all the children playing happily. He couldn't help but notice that she wasn't as lively as usual. The bounce in her step had disappeared, the smile that would light up the darkest of caves had dimmed and the perpetual sparkle in her beautiful emerald eyes had faded.
Syaoran was worried now, the previous happiness of seeing Sakura had disappeared and left him anxiously waiting for her to come to their tree. He was now struggling with himself not to leap out of the tree, rush up to her and demand to know what was wrong. He calmed himself as he noticed her walking on the soft green grass and coming his way.
Sakura stopped at the base of the cherry blossom tree and looked up. "Hi Syaoran!" she chirped, before climbing up to sit in the branch opposite his. She started to describe all the new wonderful things she noticed on her way here, while rocking her legs back and forth, contently. But soon she ran out of things to say and the two close friends just sat there in an awkward silence.
Syaoran knew, after years of being her friend, that if Sakura wanted to say something or ask for help or advice she would randomly talk about something and then after a long awkward pause she would build up the courage to ask. So he waited patiently.
The silence continued. And unfortunately wasn't broken. Syaoran squirmed slightly in his seat hoping that she would hurry. He was getting worried and impatient, which isn't a good combination.
"Ummm...Syaoran?" Sakura started hesitantly.
"Yea?" He replied.
"Ummm... I know that this is a bit awkward but...ummm...well...I have to ask this..." An embarrassed rosy flush had bloomed on Sakura's smooth, slightly tanned cheeks. "What is love? What does it feel like? I mean I understand family love, like how I love my Otou-san, my Okaa-san and my Onii-chan even though he is a baka... And I understand almost-family love, like with Kero-chan and Yue-san and Yukito-san and the Cards... And I understand friendship love, like how I love Tomoyo-chan and Meiling-chan and Rika-chan and Naoko-chan and Chiharu-chan and Yamazaki-kun...But I don't get romantic love... I mean like, how do you tell the difference between crushes and real love? And what about infatuation and lust?"
Sakura's large emerald eyes looked up stared into Syaoran's amber eyes. Syaoran always found that Sakura's eyes revealed how she truly felt no matter what. This time confusion was the main emotion she felt. She seemed a bit fearful of how he would respond and slightly doubtful that she ask him too.
Syaoran blanched and then blushed furiously. He couldn't help but be embarrassed. Of all the topics he expected, discussing love and what it is with the girl he loved, wasn't one of them. "W-w-why m–E?" he squeaked unable to control the way his voice jumped slightly, "Why not ask Tomoyo or someone? I-I-I mean they'd be a lot better at describing it and ummm..." His voice drifted off leaving Sakura with the chance to explain her question.
"Well, I want to know about love and what it feels like. I thought it would be best to ask someone who actually has someone that they love."
Syaoran's cheeks burnt darker and he spluttered indignantly, trying to deny it. But Sakura just continued as though she hadn't heard him.
"I know that Tomoyo-chan loves a certain guy, but I can't ask her because she's a hopeless romantic at heart. She loves romance and will put it in a way that's too complicated and poetic for me to understand. Meiling-chan's not telling us anything about the guy she likes and would snap my head off if I asked her anything about love right now. And I don't really wanna talk to Eriol-kun about this," Sakura blushed prettily. "and besides, I feel comfortable talking to you about practically everything, you won't give me a poetic romantic answer and you love someone so you must know how it feels!"
"Wha—? How—?" Syaoran asked, nervously.
"I overheard Tomoyo-chan, Meiling-chan and Eriol-kun talking about it. I didn't hear much though... All I know is that you are desperately in love with someone even if I don't know her name."
Syaoran blushed furiously. "Kuso! They— I—" Syaoran started.
"No. Don't worry. I don't mind that you told them first and not me. It's okay." Sakura said. "but I was hoping you could answer my question..." She added hinting slightly.
"Ummm...well... Love is different for everyone and everyone responds differently to the effects of love..." Syaoran replied hesitantly and vaguely, not wanting to discuss this certain topic.
"I know that but Tomoyo-chan always says that you and I act so similar that I thought the feelings you felt would be similar to mine." She replied undeterred.
"Okay, I'll try... ummm..." he trailed off, not knowing where to start.
"Why don't you tell me about how she makes you feel?" Sakura prompted.
Syaoran couldn't help but smile. Sakura generally knew what he was thinking, even though she was one of the most naïve people ever to be born.
"Well, whenever I'm around her I blush and feel extremely self-conscious. I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and I feel giddy and a bit ummmm... I guess 'hanyaan' as you would say, around her. She makes my mouth stop functioning with a simple smile and makes my heart leap into my throat whenever she's near. She can light up a room with her smile and..." he continued to ramble on incoherently for a moment before realizing that he was describing how Sakura made him feel TO SAKURA! He froze before quickly diverting her attention from him. "Why do you want to know anyway? Why are you suddenly interested in love?" An ugly thought appeared in his mind; What if she's in love?
Sakura blushed shyly and murmured, "Well I've been feeling weird around a friend of mine for a while and I don't know what it is I'm feeling... It could be love, it could be infatuation or lust, or something else I haven't thought of... I just thought that asking the opinion of someone who is in love would help me sort out what it was I was feeling..."
Syaoran's heart sank down until he was sure it had submerged until it was digging deep into his stomach. "Well, why don't you tell me how he makes you feel and I'll tell you whether you're in love or not?" Syaoran suggested, trying to be a supportive friend.
She smiled and complied. "Okay, just promise me you won't laugh or hold this as blackmail or tell Tomoyo, deal?" Syaoran nodded and indicated for her to continue. "Well, whenever I'm with him I have to try really hard not to blush and my hearts beats sooooo fast that I think it's gonna burst! And then there's this burning sensation that I always feel. It's so strong and fierce that sometimes I stumble but no one notices coz I'm normally klutzy." Sakura spoke quite animatedly and Syaoran would've laughed if the girl of his dreams weren't describing some guy she liked.
Sakura suddenly became serious. "He makes me feel so special and important and I think he really cares, you can see it in his eyes, and I always feel so safe with him. When I'm sad or scared he's there and he hugs me gently and I feel this warmth surround me. It's like magic! I feel like nothing bad could ever happen when I'm with him. And I love it when he smiles. I know this is fairly stupid and quite self-centered but I feel as though, when he smiles at me it's a special smile. One that's saved for me and me alone. It makes me feel all light-headed and tingly inside. And it's different from how I felt about Yukito-san. This feeling is like... A fire. It burns uncomfortably within me, makes be breathe faster, and wish for ice in my stomach to cool it down. It's not unpleasant, it's just overwhelmingly strong..."
Sakura stopped and glanced at him shyly, which Syaoran interpreted as 'Well? What do you think?' He paused thoughtfully for a moment before letting curiosity take over. "What makes you doubt your feelings are love?"
"I talked to everyone, Tomoyo-chan, Meiling-chan, Chiharu-chan, Rika-chan, Naoko-chan, even Nakuru-chan, to see what they would describe their feelings and thoughts about their relationships as. The main thing I noticed that all of them had was about seduction and hormonal temptations... But I never felt anything like that! I mean, yea I thought about kissing him, but every girl imagines what her first kiss will be like and first kisses with someone you love are meant to be really amazing, but beyond that I never felt any temptations... I mean, I've seen him shirtless and stuff and although I blushed furiously and turned away feeling really embarrassed and hot, I never thought about what all the other girls would have and so I'm not sure..."
"Well seductive thoughts aren't necessary in love. I mean I never thought things like that about the girl that I like... Yes, I've imagined kissing her and sweeping her into my arms, holding her tight and never letting go but nothing beyond that. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate it if I did anyway." Syaoran replied honestly. For an almost 17-year-old guy, his thoughts weren't dirty or perverted (unless he was feeling particularly hormonal).
"Really?" Sakura said, brightening up. "So what do you think? Am I in love?"
Syaoran paused to think about it. Waves of jealousy were flowing through him, and he knew for certain that it was probably Eriol, who Sakura loved. After all what other male friend did Sakura have who wasn't either family, dating someone else or not him? Yes, Syaoran had dismissed any hope of Sakura loving him when he first heard Sakura tell him that she liked someone, after all who would go to the person that they like for help about their feelings?
Syaoran contemplated what to do. A part of him wanted to say that what she was feeling wasn't love and then go and crush any guy that went anywhere near Sakura, especially Eriol. The other part of Syaoran told him to be a good friend and tell her the truth; that she was in love. It was almost like in cartoons when the shoulder devil and angel would come and try to persuade you. In the end Syaoran's loyalty and dedication to Sakura won.
He swallowed his pride and tried to force the raging jealousy and envy down in order to be a good friend. "Sakura, I'm not sure how to say this but yes. What you are feeling is love..."
Sakura, who had been staring at her feet, jerked her head up startled. "Honto?" she asked, her emerald eyes wide. (Sneezii: Honto means really in jap, for all those of you who don't know)
He nodded mutely, trying to constrict the jealousy that was spreading throughout him.
She smiled softly and stared off to the horizon, a thoughtful, slight dreamy look spreading over her face. "I'm glad, because I doubt there's anyone else I'd rather be in love with." Sakura murmured peacefully.
A cherry blossom broke free from its branch and drifted down into Sakura's lap bringing her back to reality. In a flash, her eyes darkened, and her face contorted into a visage of pain, anguish, suffering and a hint of hatred.
"Although it's not as though he's ever gonna notice. He's never gonna think of me as anything more than a friend. And I can't exactly blame him. Not when there are all of those pretty, popular, smart girls surrounding him, just jumping for the chance to be close to him." Sakura glared at the sky, anger, pain and most of all self-disgust lacing her voice. "Sometimes I'm surprised that he even notices me, when he's got practically the entire female population of Tomoeda High yearning for him."
Syaoran was stunned. He felt as though he had just been slapped. Sakura had suddenly changed from a peaceful, gentle girl daydreaming and indulging in her love for someone into a dark, hurt, angry person. He was horrified. And what's more is that she didn't even see how wonderful she really was.
"Sakura! How can you say that!" Syaoran demanded roughly. His voice softened slightly and he cupped her cheek, his thumb gently caressing the tear that rolled down her cheek away. "Sakura, you're a wonderful, kind-hearted cheerful person. You're always bright and full of life and never have anything bad to say about anyone. You beautiful and smart and talented. You're strong and determined and always put others before yourself. You're caring and you're special. Whoever this guy is, he should know how lucky he is to have you. There's no guy who would be able to hate you or notice you, that's why Touya hates guys being near you. I'm sure that this guy cares about you just as much as you do! If he doesn't, then he's just a blind fool who can't see that one of the most precious treasures has been waiting for him." Syaoran paused to take a deep breath in his long 'speech' about how wonderful Sakura was.
Sakura's eyes glowed happily, hope shining brightly like a beacon. "Do you really think so?"
Syaoran smiled softly, "Yea Saku, I really do."
A gentle flush ran over Sakura's cheeks and she smiled at him shyly. "Thanks Syaoran. You have no idea how much this means to me."
She stopped, closed her eyes for a moment and re-opened them. They were blazing with determination. She gathered her courage and took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She looked at Syaoran, straight into his eyes and felt the warmth and kindness that he always showed her, shining strongly in his eyes. Her fears, nerves and the jittery feeling in her stomach vanished and she spoke strongly and firmly, even though her voice was quiet.
"I love you Syaoran, even though I honestly don't expect you to return my feelings I just need you to know that I really do. I don't wanna hurt you or ruin our friendship but I needed to tell you."
Before these words could sink into Syaoran's stunned and frozen mind she leaned in and her lips pressed against his. She kissed him softly, sweetly and innocently. She pulled away and blushed bright red before hopping out of the tree. She then started to walk away, feeling like a walking tomato.
Syaoran was still sitting in the tree shocked. His eyes were wide, his entire face frozen, his jaw almost hitting the floor... He never thought that Sakura, Kinomoto Sakura, would ever kiss him. The image of her getting further and further away from him brought him back to reality. He swore in Chinese when he saw how far away she was before leaping down off the tree and dashing after her.
Thankfully Sakura wasn't running, only walking quickly (very quickly) and Syaoran was very athletic. He ran as fast as he could, trying to catch up to his love. Each step seemed to bring him only fractionally closer to her. It was beyond infuriating.
He was finally closing in on her when Sakura heard the sound of his feet. She whirled around confused and afraid to hope. His face was barely inches away from hers.
Syaoran, without even stopping to catch his breath, pulled her into his arms. His lips crashed against her as he kissed her passionately, trying to convey his strong feelings for Sakura. He pulled away, breathing heavily, before looking into her eyes and teasing her lightly. "Kinomoto Sakura, you are the naivest, densest fool I have ever met. How could you not see that I love you?"
Her eyes widened shining with hope and adoration and she blushed cutely. She looked as though she was about to protest his comment about her being a fool before he captured her lips in another fiery kiss. Sakura definitely wasn't protesting. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, while his arms stayed firmly locked around her waist, his palms pressed against her back.
Both of them were completely oblivious to the fact that they were in a public park, surrounded by couples, parents and children. But as their tongues clashed in perfect harmony, any of the remaining thoughts were wiped out of their minds, just enjoying the fierce warmth that engulfed the both of them and the tingly wonderful feeling of being close to the one you love.
When they finally pulled apart and caught their breath Syaoran decided to ask a question that was bothering him. "Sakura, why did you ask me about love and whether what you were was love, if these feelings were for me?"
Sakura blushed and glanced at him shamefacedly. "Well I'd been thinking about my feelings for you and I knew I should tell you because you're my best friend and have the right to know, but I was feeling shy and I didn't want to ruin our friendship.. . So I decided to let you decide. I decided to tell you my feelings and if thought that they were love, then I'd tell you that I loved you. It was a gamble, I know but I didn't have the courage to tell you otherwise."
Syaoran blushed, before realizing the impact of being a good friend had on Sakura's confession. Syaoran couldn't help but mention it. "I'm glad I didn't realize how much was at stake. If I said the selfish thing and let my jealousy and say that you weren't in love and that you were infatuated..." He trailed off hoping that she understood what he was getting at.
Sakura smiled at him brightly. "That's one of the reasons why I love you! You're such a nice, caring, honest person. I knew I could trust you to be honest!" Sakura was practically brimming with joy. She pulled him close to her and indulged in another kiss.
When they pulled apart Sakura rested her head on Syaoran's broad shoulder and sighed contently. Here she was in the arms of the man she loved and trusted with all her heart. It was pure bliss. Until a horrible thought struck her. She gasped horrified, before pulling away roughly and staring at him with wide frightened eyes.
Syaoran was confused and worried at Sakura's sudden change in behavior. "Daijobu?" (Sneezii: that's jap for 'are you okay?')
Sakura gripped his shoulders tightly, her large emerald eyes filling with crystal tears. "Oh Syaoran! I couldn't bear it if he hurt you!"
"He? What 'he'?" Syaoran demanded, feeling confused and slightly jealous. Yes, Li Syaoran was a very possessive and easily provoked person.
"My Onii-chan!" Sakura wailed. "He hates you and he might hurt you! I remember him saying that if any guy came near me he would do something horrible when he bought himself a chainsaw! And then there's Tomoyo and Eriol! They might mean well, but who knows what they're gonna do!"
Syaoran frowned as he realized that Sakura was right. It was bad enough that Eriol and Tomoyo teased him whenever possible but if they found out that he and Sakura were officially a couple, neither of them would ever get a moment of privacy. Ever. And as for Touya, he was horrible enough as it was. Him being even more overprotective and paranoid scared Syaoran deeply. If Touya ever found out things would get ugly, really quickly.
Sakura instantly read the look on Syaoran's face. "Oh no! I don't want you to get hurt or have a camera following you around constantly! Maybe we should—! Or we could—! Ummm..." Sakura tried hard to find a solution to their dilemma and Syaoran couldn't help but notice how cute she looked when she was worried.
He smiled reassuringly and held her close. "Don't worry Ying Fa. As long as they don't know, no one will get hurt let alone you or me. So if we keep it a secret, everything will be fine."
Sakura sighed, relieved. "Oh good. I had no idea what we could do to stop them from finding out. I mean they have lots of magic and a good intuition too." Then all of a sudden she frowned and stared up at him confused. "Ying Fa?" She said inquiringly, cocking her head to the side.
Syaoran smiled and kissed her nose. "Ying Fa means cherry blossom in Chinese. You don't mind, do you?"
Sakura looked delighted. "Ying Fa... It sounds nice... Especially when you say it!" She grinned up at him.
The sun slowly faded into the night as the two lovers held each other close and discussed their plans to hide their new relationship from their hyper-active and occasionally evil (coughEriolandTomoyocough) friends and overprotective neurotic relatives (who also goes by the name of Kinomoto Touya).
"Ooooh! Syaoran look! The stars have come out! Aren't they so pretty?" Sakura's delighted squeal echoed in the night, interrupting their previous serious conversation. Syaoran, surprised, glanced heavenward before bursting into laughter. Both teens lay down on the lush soft green grass and watched the twinkling stars and enjoyed a few make-out sessions.
Both of them were oblivious to the watchful eyes and excited giggling of all the Sakura Cards who had kindly enough decided to document on film this scene for the joy of their Mistress, her boyfriend and as a wonderful present to their Mistress' best friend and their old Master's half re-incarnation and maybe even an incredibly early Christmas present for the Li Clan.
Sneezii: Yay! It's finished! And just before my school holidays started too! ) And for anyone else who's holidays are starting now too, I hope you have lots of fun! D Even though I probably won't coz I have lots of work to catch up on... And for those of you who have read my first SS fic 'If Only Tears Could Bring You Back', I'm trying to make a sequel but I don't have any ideas for what song to use... If you have any ideas please tell me. I hope you all enjoyed this fic and remember to review! very eager to receive reviews XD