Chapter Thirty-Five:
The Bushwackering Plot Hole

I don't know, I just make this up as I go

"So... where are we going?" Shadii asked as the group wandered further and further into the thick bushes.

"After the cheeziting Banana!" Laria said quickly.

"That's not a word either," LeAndra said, she had regained sanity and had now returned to her greatest of all roles, grammar nazi.

"Thanks Herm," Laria sighed.

"I don't have to be Herm to see that even your word program tells you that," LeAndra huffed, "Look, it has it underlined! Looks like it even has it crossed out. Oh look, there it goes... cheeziting... told you so!"

"Shhh," Six Thirty hushed her, "I hear something... sounds like crackling. Do you smell burning?"

At last the bushes thinned out and they entered a clearing where there was a fire and five torches. Dalton was standing there with an orange mustache made out of construction paper taped to his face.

"Welcome to Sole Survivor," he greeted, "Sole Survivor Uno. Players, take your seats."

"Dalton?" Laria asked.

"Seats?" Six Thirty looked around, there were no chairs, "Where are we going to play Uno?"

"Uno?" LeAndra blinked, "This makes no sense."

"I know," Laria agreed, "Didn't we already do a Uno segment?"

"Guess we'll just have to go with it," the Pharaoh shrugged.

"Why are we playing in the middle of a fleet of bushes?" wondered Shadii.

"We've been bushwackered!" exclaimed Six Thirty.

"Yes," Dalton turned away, "Now you will all compete in a death defying Uno game that the winner will win a special prize and be Sole Survivor!"

When he turned back he had a different mustache on, but it was still bright orange and made from construction paper.

"Mustache..." LeAndra leaned her head to the side in confusion.

"Eyebrows..." said Six Thirty, "Fooly Cooly."

"A little Priest?" Laria asked, she was the only one not to notice the mustache switch, and was now out of the loop. To rectify this, Six Thirty danced her into the fire. Dance. Dance. Dance. Toss!

"Thank god I'm fire retardant," Laria sighed as she landed in the flames. Unfortunately, her clothes were not, so they burned off. She then stepped out of the fire pit revealing that she had another outfit underneath.


"First, does anyone want to play their Immunity Idol?" Dalton asked, continuing on as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, which, with this group, was a common occurrence.

"I do," said Laria pulling a stick... I mean Immunity Idol, out of her pocket.

"Where'd you get that?" Six Thirty asked.

"In the first Uno game," Laria beamed.


"Guess it's just us," said the Pharaoh.

"Player with the most cards by the end of this challenge shall be eliminated and the rest of you shall be split into two tribes," Dalton continued to explain, during it he had turned away and now turned back again with an orange construction paper goatee, "Any questions?"

"It's just Uno, right?" asked Shadii.

Laria and Six Thirty gasped, "Just Uno!?"

"Now you've done it," the Pharaoh jumped into a nearby bush, sticking is tri-colored head up he added, "Bark!"

"Toast!" Laria glared. Shadii caught fire.

"I was just kidding Lar-sama!" he explained, rolling on the ground to put himself out.

"That's better," the authoress grinned.

Just then "Down in the Underground" from the Labyrinth starts playing.

"David Bowie?" Laria asked, glancing around.

"Where?" Six Thirty looked around with her.

"Right here," David Bowie said, stepping out of the bushes on the other side of the clearing.

"You can't steal the show," Dalton glared.

"What show?"

Dalton jumped into the bushes and out again dressed as an old lady.

"Grandma's!" he sang, "Cooking Show!"

He then danced around the clearing to Michael Jackson's "Thriller".

"Gah!" the insanity had finally got the best of LeAndra and she fainted.

"Then I am," Six Thirty jumped in and out of the bushes himself, now also dressed as an old lady, "Impostor Grandma!"

"Oh no, it's Cher Grandma!" gasped Laria, "Her wig is sparkly like a disco ball."

"Who are you!" Grandma exclaimed in a high pitched voice, pointing at David Bowie. Well he does have long white hair, easily mistakable for a little old lady, "There's only room for one Grandma on this show!"

"And that's me!" said Cher Grandma, also in a high pitched voice. He knocked Grandma out with a frying pan and then looked to David Bowie, "And now it's your turn Bowie!"

"Not David Bowie!" Laria and Shadii gasped at the same time.

The Authoress gave a sideways glance at the holder of the Millennium Key, "Shut up Shadii! Vagoo tentacles!"

Tentacles slid out from under her skirt and pulls the Egyptian into her vagoo.

... Let's just all forget that happened...

On the other side of the clearing Grandma had gotten up off the ground and started choking Cher Grandma. The impostor reaches over and pulls off Grandma's wig. He shrieks loudly and falls to the ground. Only to get up a second later with another orange mustache on.

"That's what happens, deary, if you forget to wax."

"Ah!" Cher Grandma shrieked high pitchly, something known as the grandma shriek, "Barbara, how could you let yourself go!"

"Sorry Dolly," Grandam said, she then noticed the hat that Cher Grandma was wearing, "Hey, that's my hat which has been missing since the impostor episode of Cooking with Grandma!"

Cooking with Grandma, of course, is a fabulous little series currently playing on a YouTube near you.

... It might also help explain what the hell is going on right now.

"I have no idea what you mean," Cher Grandma said, trying to look innocent, "I bought, yes bought it at Goodwill."

"Give it here impostor bitch," Grandma said, putting her wig back on, "Before I put you back into the oven!"

Grandma grabbed her own frying pan out of a nearby bush. "Duel of Fates" from Star Wars: Episode One start playing as the two old ladies start battling each other epically with frying pans and high pitched squeals.

"Take that!" exclaimed Grandma, "And that! And--!"

Grandma shriek as Cher Grandma punches her in the vagina.

"I'll get you my pretty," said Cher Grandma, "And your little frying pan too!"

"Not today!"

Grandma pulled off the impostor's wig.

Suddenly, everyone freezes as they hear an oh-so-familiar song in the background.

Clay Aiken. Invisible.

"Quick, to the Kaiba Cave!" Laria panicked, she pulled out a lever left over from when Anne had visited them, she pulled it but nothing happened, "Damn, I forgot to get that installed."

Instead, they all took off running through the bushes. They arrived back on the sidewalk where Dalton and Six Thirty's clothes had returned to normal.

"That was awkward," said Dalton

"But entertaining," chuckled Six Thirty. There was something so wrong with that boy... maybe that's why he had been put in the mental hospital. Hm.

The near Clay Aiken death scare had sent the trick or treaters on down the street as "Thriller" starts to play. The group randomly zombie walks down the center of the street.

"Hold it, hold it, hold it!" sighed LeAndra as she stepped out of the bushes and saw them, she was late because it took her a while to regain consciousness again, "Stop it before I flutesaber you."

"Like you haven't before," Six Thirty scoffed.

"Corrupt!" LeAndra yelled.

"Not my baby!" Laria gasped, she cradled her stomach where her nonexistent child was.

"Quit making bad choices."

"My childhood!" wailed Dalton, "My childhood!"

On cue, a piano sailed down the road with Nicole, another friend of there's from school, on it. She is playing "Phantom of the Opera" as she sails past them.

"Did that piano have an actual sail on the top?" asked LeAndra, "Is that how Nicole gets around? On her Piano Sail Boat?"

"In her spare time," laughed Six Thirty.