Warning : hmm, implied yaoi, shounen-ai, OMG make-out/bed scene, some mild spoilers (along with speculations on the things that would happen in the future of the anime), some vague mentions of events in Chapter 308/309 (but you could always pass them off as 'what would happen next' if you haven't read it yet), infidelity, slightly mature themes and yeah… the M rating is simply for safety though :P
Disclaimer : I don't own anything.
Notes : This fanfiction's title is from Loveless. I don't really know/watch/read the manga, but I think the title is cool :P This story is rather cliché, but hey :) I love the idea :D
He honestly doesn't know when it started.
He could probably say that it all started when he saw the other male, looking so lonely and distanced from everybody else inside the classroom. He could probably say that it all started when he saw the other, legs dangling unto the river's icy waters, face schooled into an impassive look, yet eyes unable to conceal the grief he had for his clan's demise.
He could probably say that it all started when his classmates started noticing how great the other is, academically and physically. He could probably say that it all started when Iruka-sensei assigned them to Team Seven, despite his heavy protests.
He could probably say that it all started when they both trained on their chakra control, racing against each other in an unspoken match. He could probably say that it all started when the other saved him, impulsively, unthinkingly, against Haku's lethal needles.
He could probably say that it all started when the other returned his sentiment of wanting to fight against each other in a formal match. He could probably say that it all started when the other admitted that his teammates are the closest things he had for family.
He could probably say that it all started when he saw Uchiha Itachi beat up the other's younger form mercilessly, without any traces of gentleness siblings are supposed to have. He could probably say that it all started when he saw how blank, lost and fragile the other looked after the confrontation with his older brother.
He could probably say that it all started when they fought spontaneously on top of the hospital roof, with Sakura-chan crying her eyes out helplessly, and Kakashi-sensei going in-between them at the last second. He could probably say that it all started when he learned from Sakura-chan of Orochimaru's lure of power for the younger Uchiha.
He could probably say that it all started when Shikamaru informed him that they're going on a mission to halt the other from foolishly going into the greedy hands of the Snake Sannin. He could probably say that it all started when they faced off on that Valley of the End, with the other's face looking so distraught and desperate, as though pleading for him to stop preventing him from getting his life's goal.
He could probably say that it all started when the other left him behind in Konoha, leaving him to slowly realize how much he had relied on the other's presence to get him going. He could probably say that it all started when he discovered that all it took him to be determined once more, is the promise that he's going to see the other soon if he became stronger.
He could probably say that it all started when he saw Sai, the person who looked so much, yet so little like him; along with Yamato's presence, it's like the broken pieces of Team Seven was re-pasted by battered, uneven pieces. He could probably say that it all started when he saw the other once again, after a painful two and a half years of separation, with him looking more elegant, arrogant and ruthless as ever, even with the provocative position and outfit.
He could probably say that it all started when the other started talking about their past, about his reasons for keeping him alive. He could probably say that it all started when the other cut the distance between them, settling his lithe body pressed tightly against his, an arm draped ever-so-casually across his shoulders, as though taunting him about the closeness that they could've been sharing if he cooperated properly.
He could probably say that it all started when…
It doesn't matter now, does it?
Because of the mistakes they both did, they're both stuck into a helpless situation. He had been willing to give it all up, after all, it's not like they had done anything yet, back then. But he had been more than extremely unhappy (if the forests pierced pitilessly with full-powered Chidori are any indication) with the idea of them separating, even though they just found each other.
He couldn't clearly pinpoint exactly when he had fallen for the other. However, he could say when this affair, this treacherous affair that would cost them the hearts of the people they had learned to tolerate and care for, had started.
It started when the bastard returned to Konoha, out of his own free will, dragging his wounded body towards the Gates, towards his apartment. He opened his apartment door wearily, angry at whoever disturbed his sleep. He got the shock of his life, however, when the unexpected visitor pressed his battered body against his, lips fumbling desperately all over him, not accepting any form of rejection from his bold (if not reckless) advances.
Despite his harsh arrival, he couldn't find the anger to feel. After all, he's already in love with the bastard.
They meet up here, every moment they could. An act so wrong, yet so perfectly right…
He walks silently down the dimly-lit corridor, with all the stealth that nobody could even believe such a loud person like him could possess. He might not be within 'familiar' surroundings, but he still needs to be extra-careful. He knows how noisy and prying subordinates could be; one wrong move and all that concealing he had done in the past years would be all for naught.
He's currently in a conference held in Sand. Hinata had asked him, earlier yesterday, an hour before they left for Sand, to take her with him on this particular meeting, but he steadfastly refused. He has a lot of reasons; one of which included not letting her get too involved with politics. He has another winning reason: he doesn't want Hinata to be in danger, because assassinations and ambush attacks are rather common.
He had expertly avoided Hinata's large, pale eyes, because he knows (from his advice) that girls have rather scary powers. He's absolutely terrified that Hinata might know, if they made eye-contact, that Hinata might learn of the secrets he had long hidden from her.
He brought along with him only his most trusted, top-ranking jounin. Despite the wary reception of him, one word from the Hokage effectively eliminates all opposition. They had agreed on meeting on his room, since ANBU guards might check inside the Hokage's quarters.
"What room is it…" He scratched his head dully, miffed at himself for forgetting something as simple as a room number and the directions to go to said room. Getting lost now wouldn't be any good; asking for directions would be worse. Silent footsteps trailed after him, and he didn't notice it until a grave voice spoke.
"His room is the last one on this floor," Gaara's voice still sounds creepy, and the moonlight that entered the hallway from the small glass windows made his crimson-colored hair shine bleakly. He turned around, surprised, but as usual, Gaara is as cheerful as a rock. Those green eyes shine eerily in the darkened corridor, making him feel as though those eyes could read every one of his most guarded secrets.
"…You know?" He asked disbelievingly instead, knowing that it's too late to deny against the Kazekage. Something flickered inside those emerald-hued depths, but it disappeared all too quickly. The Rokudaime Hokage held his breath, intently watching Gaara's reaction.
"It's not hard to notice," Gaara said instead, after a few moments of uneasy silence on the Hokage's part. "…However, a lot are still clueless."
Those words hit something deep inside him, but he knew what he was doing when he accepted his heated kiss, his warm, roaming hands, and his passion-laced words. He knew that there would come a time when others would find out about this secret, but, damn it, he wanted to be with him. He still wants to be with him. He still—
"They'd eventually find out," Gaara told him seriously, and he hoped that his blue eyes are devoid of the chaos and fear he could feel writhing inside of him. "I overheard Temari asking her fiancée the other week," The redhead continued, and he decided that Gaara being talkative isn't exactly nice. If Temari's being suspicious already… and she asked Shikamaru…
Damn it, he cursed mentally, knowing that nothing could escape Shikamaru's observation skills. The shadow-user isn't called a genius for nothing, after all.
A couple of minutes pass in silence, before Gaara turned around, walking the opposite direction as his destination. "I'll keep the guards away," Gaara said his way of goodnight, and he whispered a word of appreciation, before making his way to his secret lover's room.
Lips frantically pushed over his own, hands greedily going inside his Hokage robes. It's not really surprising, since he's more than ten minutes late already. He let himself be pushed harshly against the wooden door, relishing in the roughened friction between the two of them. The frenzied kissing and groping stopped after about ten minutes, and his lover steps away from, staring intently at his half-dressed, flushed form.
"What took you so long?" His lover's voice is low, dark and cold. He knows him well enough, however, to tell that he's being his usual possessive self. The question reminded him, though, of the conversation with Gaara, and it brought along the familiar wave of guilt.
"…Gaara knows." He said simply, hands hastily pushing the Hokage robe away, leaving him as naked as his lover. He sauntered slowly over to the jounin's bed, eyes uncharacteristically averted. The Uchiha snorted at his deliberate slowness, and pale hands grasped his arms roughly, dragging him downwards, until he's seated securely on the other's lap, their hips wedged tightly together.
The other didn't say anything.
"He knows." He repeated almost anxiously, fingers digging painfully on the other's pale-skinned back. "Heck, I think, even Hinata and Sakura-chan knows."
He's rambling off his concerns, and after letting him speak his bearings, his lover shifted, and cupped his face against long, elegant fingers. "Shut up."
And for that night, he didn't say anything else.
They continued with this deception, living their days with their respective wives and fiancées, finishing their work with flying colors. Their nights continued being spent within each other's passionate embraces, hiding against the darkness that lulls everybody else to slumber and rest.
It has been Old Hag Tsunade's idea; marry someone so that he could start a family, something that he never had the chance to experience. Having a wife, especially somebody from a powerful clan like the Hyuuga, would increase his credibility as the new leader of Konoha.
It had also been the former Hokage's idea for him to marry someone, so that he could bring a new family, and start the clan that was taken away from him when he was still very young. Having a wife, especially somebody as influential as Sakura-chan, would hasten the village's pardoning and it would bring him 'closer' to the ties and it'd strengthen his proof of loyalty.
He didn't want to marry Hinata, since he knows it's unfair for her. She deserves somebody who would love her completely, and somebody like him isn't up to par for somebody as sweet, as kind as Hinata.
He didn't want to marry Sakura-chan, since he knows of her unwavering feelings for him, and he knows that it's unfair for her feelings to be toyed and manipulated like that.
In the end, though, life doesn't abide by the people's wants.
He ended up marrying Hinata, while he ended up being engaged to Sakura-chan.
It has been his idea to allow those things to proceed. It had also been his idea for the two of them to remain together.
He really should've known better, to hope that everything would continue as peacefully as this.
The icy anger brimming inside Sakura's eyes, visible whenever the two of them are together, should've been enough of a warning. They're planning Sakura's wedding date, and when he brightly had suggested the two of them get married near her future husband's birthday, the medic-nin snapped.
"Stop, Naruto. Please stop." Her words are pained, and hot tears are welling inside her eyes. He looked helplessly at her, then to her fiancée, who merely shrugged.
"Sakura-chan, what—" He tried, hoping to salvage their situation. She stared, anger directed straight at him.
"Stop, stop these lies, Naruto. We're friends. Yet, you still continue with this. Did you think I would never notice? Did you think that Hinata wouldn't notice? Did you think we're stupid?" Sakura asked him bitingly, green eyes challenging him to speak.
"Sakura-chan—" He tried once more, but a kunai came flying into the air, which he didn't dodge. His lover appeared sleekly in front of him, one hand catching the pointed weapon deftly before it made contact with his forehead.
"Sasuke," Sakura said hopelessly, tears now flowing. "Why did you have to do this to us?"
Naruto bowed his head, knowing that this inevitable day would come. Gaara's words rang back at him.
"…If you and Hyuuga already knew, why, then, did you agree to my proposal?" Sasuke's words are icy, slicing through the heavy silence and Sakura's wails. The blond snapped his head up, staring at his lover in shock.
Sakura said nothing, but even if she spoke, he doubted Sasuke would stop his assault. "You know why? Because you still wanted to be with me, despite knowing that I would never belong to you."
"Sasuke—" The current Hokage stood up, walking swiftly to the Uchiha and a hand pressed firmly against the jounin's shoulder. Sakura's face is scrunched up to desperation and anger, and Naruto didn't wish for their affair's result to be like this.
"Get out," Sakura said firmly, and without a word, the two males left Sakura's apartment, and her life.
"Hinata…" He spoke her name, and she merely smiled at the two of them. Understanding is plain in her eyes, and Naruto almost let out a sigh of relief. He had feared that Neji would nail his insides on their home's wall, but… it seemed that Hinata's taking the admission rather well.
"It's okay, Naruto-kun," The female Hyuuga said, though the tears cascading down her pale cheeks say otherwise. The Rokudaime, unable to find anything else to say, nodded politely, and walked out of their home.
He missed Hinata's whisper of, Thank you for letting me have this dream.
The younger Uchiha shook his head at his lover, approaching the blond with practiced ease. "Are you regretting being with me?" Sasuke asked directly, staring right into those azure depths.
"No, of course not!"
"Then, there's nothing wrong." Sasuke sounds so sure, and Naruto wanted to be like that too. After all, how could something that feels so perfectly right, be so wrong?
I just want to be with you.
Yep, definitely reeking of sappiness and cliché-ness :D But I really adore the idea of Sasuke and Naruto being together, despite whatever circumstances :) I think that just explained the extent of my love for this pairing XD
I originally planned for the confrontations to be much more emotional and messier, but then, they're adults here. I figured that they'd be able to resolve things with less casualties XD
SasuNaru forever c",) Please review!