"Geometry and history is just a pain,
Biology and chemistry destroys my brain.
Well don't they know that I deserve a better fate?
I'm really much too young to matriculate."
- "Back to School", Grease 2

Charlie stood by the bus loop, glancing at his watch. The principal had told him the new kid's bus was going to be there at eight. It was eight thirty. He would have had time to grab a coffee and make it back with plenty of time. Damn Clack…

"Think it's almost here?" asked the girl standing beside him, a year older. It was her job to take reign of the older new kid. They hadn't even been given their names.

"It bloody well better," he muttered. "Or I'm taking off."

No sooner had he spoke that a bus pulled in, the students piling off, and Charlie spotted who he was looking for. Mr. Clack had only given him one description of the girl, but it seemed to be more than enough.

He shook his head, walking up to her. "Hey! You! New kid! I'm showing you around, your brother goes with that girl over there!"

The blonde boy nodded, heading off in the direction he had been pointed, leaving his sister with him.

She seemed pleasant enough. Her eyes were brown, she had a girly aura of 'pretty' radiating from her, and she was dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt that matched the colour of her hair; pink.

"Nice hair," he commented, raising an eyebrow.

"Er, thanks…" She seemed insanely nervous.

"What dye do you use?"

"Actually, it comes in like that naturally. They, the doctors I've seen, have no idea what causes it. It just… does what it does."

The boy paused. "Wait a minute… A teacher here, Mrs. Byte…"

"She's my aunt. I'm Evie Meanswell."


"My full name's Evangeline, my parents got it from some poem or something… It's a pain to say the whole thing."

"Ah. Well, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Just as they were about to step off onto the pavement, a motorcycle whizzed past them, going quite a bit faster than it should have been.

The rider, who was wearing a leather jacket with some sort of animal on it, vaulted up over the curb, not letting up the gas as they approached the parking lot. It was headed straight for a blue Volvo. The principal's blue Volvo. At the last minute, the rider stuck their foot down, the bike twisting one hundred and eighty degrees and placing it facing outwards, right beside the car. The engine was killed and the kickstand was lowered before they dismounted.

Evie gaped in amazement. "Who is that?"

Charlie sighed, shaking his head. "That's the Great Dane. Something else, isn't she?"

"The Great Dane?"

"Dana Rotten-Ten. She's the sports hero of the school, hands down. She and her sister, Allison, they're probably the most eligible bachelorettes in LazyTown High. There're a year older than us."

"Why did she just do that?"

"Because she can. It pisses Clack, the principal, off to no end. He can never call her on it, though. She keeps her nose clean, though if something's wrong, Clack tries to pin it on her. Unlike Allison… God, she's a hellcat. She's been in more fights this year than I can count on one hand, and it's the bloody middle of October. The principal has it in for the pair of them, and everybody knows it."


"They've got two fathers, one's the town's hero, the other's an inventor. Those two were the first to really make a statement in this Hicksville about being gay. A lot of people took it hard, Clack included. Sportacus, the hero, he got the shit beat out of him when they first announced they were moving in together."

"Oh my God… That's awful!"

"It's settled down a bit since then," he assured her. "Clack's still touchy about it, though. Right old fashioned."

Dana, still quite a ways from them, took off her helmet, untangling the two braids she had gathered her hair into from her jacket before shedding it and shaking her head out, glad to have rid it from the weight of the helmet.

It was then that the boy noticed his companion was staring a bit. "What?"

"She… She's really pretty…" Evie muttered softly.

Charlie double-checked to make sure they were both looking at the same person. "Dana? Pretty? God, don't let her hear you say that. You should see Allison. That girl could be a model. I think she got an offer one time, but she turned it down. So, you bat for the our team?"

Evie's face flushed a brilliant red. "Y-Yeah, I guess, I know she probably…"

"Is our star pitcher," Charlie laughed, rather amused at the girl's embarrassment. "Matter of fact, she's on the market as of now. She just broke it off with Ellie Cole. Everyone thinks they've still got it for each other, but I don't know… See, Elle's an artist and Dane's just a total jock. They just didn't work, you know?"

She frowned slightly as the girl headed in, stripping off her leather jacket. "What was that one the back of her jacket? It looked like a rat."

"Lemming," she was corrected. "It's our school mascot. The LazyTown Lemmings."

Evangeline withheld a groan as she followed Charlie in through one of the side doors. She hadn't been at her new school for ten minutes, and she already had a crush on someone who still loved her ex, and she already hated the school mascot. A lemming, for god's sake. A lemming. A rodent who ran off cliffs. Why not the LazyTown Leopards, or Lions, or even Lemurs! But Lemmings…?

Allison walked through the halls, raised heels making a slight clicking on the tiles as she strutted her way to math class. She was pretty, and she knew it. Pink top, styled hair, nail polish, and cherry lip gloss. She was actually addicted to cherry lip gloss.

Of course, most people knew that this girl deemed a homeroom angel wasn't someone you wanted to mess with. You didn't made lewd commented to Allison Rotten-Ten. You never said that Andrew Lloyd Webber was anything less than a god on earth. And you never, ever made a fag joke within thirty feet of the girl.

Well, some people did. But that never turned out well.

"Hey, Rotten! Heard your dads got an offer to be in the Brokeback Mountain Sequel!"

Allison didn't even turn around. She knew it was Billy Bloise. A year ago she would have beaten him up for less, but she was trying to be more mature. More self-controlled. More creative. "Yeah, but they turned it down! They're auditioning for the sequel to Fried Green Tomatoes instead. Beer Battered Onion Rings. I'll see you at the premiere!"

"Fuck you, Rotten!"

"Oh, original." She kept walking. She could hear him following her.

"Hey, you stop shooting your mouth off, girly, or I'll wire it shut."

"Okay, but only if you tell your mother to stop calling my sister all hours of the night. She's got a life outside pleasuring her, you know."

That did it. He took a swing at her.

She was quicker. In one swift movement she was turned around and her heeled boots were on the doors of the lockers. She pushed off of them, kicking the boy upside the head before landing neatly as he fell to the ground. Allison tossed her head, flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Go go anti-homophobic violence."

"Sweet, I got that on camera!" crowed a member of the crowd who was gathering. Some were cheering, others were shaking their head at Billy's stupidity, and others were simply pissed off. "God damn, that was like… Matrix shit!"

"Thank you, thank you, try to catch my lunchtime show. Stay in school. Keep your mouth shut to Clack. Auditions for the school musical are coming up, come and try out. I gotta get to math."

"Older new kid", as he had been dubbed, had seen the display through a crowd of people, but had seen enough to be thoroughly amazed. "Who is she…?"

Catarina Allan rolled her eyes. "Allison Rotten-Ten. She is such a stunt monkey… I think her birth father's Chuck Norris. She's pretty, she can sing, she can act, she can fight, and she's a genius with machinery, but it she doesn't get a hold on her temper she's going to end up doing life in Shawshank."

"Is she ever pretty…" Erik Meanswell muttered, watching the girl leave.

"You haven't got a chance with her. Come on, lover boy, I'll show you the cafeteria."

He reluctantly followed, but glanced back. "Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany…"