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A few months ago you took me to a faith healer so my weak failing heart could be healed. The faith healer did his thing and I was treated. The faith healer gave me back a life I didn't deserve. A Life I had no right to. A day later you saved me from the death the hands of a reaper. As the reaper held my hand in his hands I felt no fear only a sense of warmth and acceptance. In that one moment I welcomed death.

A few months later we are heading towards the hospital. All three of us are badly injured from the fight with the demon that killed mom and jess. All of us were in so much pain, but we had survived to fight another day. All of us should have realised that survival is never that easy. I can still remember a semi running us of the road. The last thing I witnessed before my heart took its last beat was the driver of the semi. He was grinning like a drugged up manic. I barely managed to grasp that the driver of the semi was possessed before I died. Despite all of the things I have been led to death really isn't all that painful. It's pain free. Sometime later I woke up confronted with the knowledge that I was different. Different has never been a good thing for a Winchester. Dad could understand Sam's visions and all of the other mind shit, but coming back to live after being dead wouldn't be one of the things he could understand. Sam would feel responsible for what had happened to me. There would always be this part of him that looked at me differently. He would look at me like I wasn't human. He would at some point in his life come to hate me. I don't want that to happen. Twenty minutes after the accident happened I was dialing 911. I rode in the ambulance with Sam to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital, I can remember telling the doctors I was a hitchhiker and the accident had just managed to avoid me. Everyone bought that bullshit lie. After assurances that Sam and dad would be okay I walked out of the hospital. I walked out of there lives and in the four weeks that have past I haven't contacted them.