Title: A Greater Path
Summary: Shmi's thoughts as Anakin walks away in TPM. A short piece.
Disclaimer: Star Wars is the property of George Lucas. No disrespect is intended.
Notes: I was watching TPM again and the look on Shmi's face spoke to me.
He is destined for things far greater than I can imagine. I know this and still it is hard to let him go. I know full well that this is a decision only he can make. My heart aches to see him turn from me and my arms long to cradle him, my only offspring.
My Ani has always been remarkable. What else could he be from a remarkable beginning? At the time I carried him, I didn't know whether to feel special by the strangeness of circumstances or alarmed that such a thing came about. To hold that precious baby in my arms though…. I knew the second I held him for the first time that he was destined for a life bigger than mine, that it was only a matter of time before he left my side. I could almost feel the very seconds ticking away to that day.
He has big dreams for his life and if I could, I would make all of his dreams come true. However, I cannot. I can only guide him to make the proper sort of choices. Right over wrong. Justice over injustice. He has to make his own way. I'd hoped the day of his leaving would be later. I'd hoped to see him grow tall and strong, to perhaps fall in love and hold his own children in his arms. I'd hoped it would be a grown man leaving and not a young boy.
But he is going. The time has come. I cannot be sad for that which I've known would always come. My role has passed and I've prepared him as best I can for a life that will include noble things.
Still, as he walks away with this Jedi Qui-Gon, I cannot help but feel a sliver of fear for him. I want to call him back, to forestall the moment and cram every bit of knowledge I possess into his mind so that he will never be bereft of an answer to questions. I want to tell him that he will make friends and grow and his future is not as uncertain as I know he must feel. I want to go with him. A part of me does go with him and I am left incomplete.
I must be strong. My place is here and I stand watching until surely their ship has left Tatooine. Only then do I sigh and allow my shoulders to droop. His is a greater path than mine.
I miss him already.