Title: Growing Pains
Author: desolate butterfly
Genre: Humour, Gen.
Pairings: none really, but could be considered NaruSakuSasu.
Summary: How that first meeting with Sasuke in chapter 307 could have gone.


"Sasuke!" Naruto raised his fist dramatically and glared at the face he hadn't seen in three years. It hadn't changed much except...Naruto's eyes narrowed.

"...what's that on your chin?"

That knocked the bored expression off of Sasuke's face, and he swiped a hand across his slightly spotty chin and glared back at the blond.

He knew he should have taken that facial cleanser with him before leaving Konoha. The moisturizer Orochimaru lent him made his skin entirely too greasy, even if it did keep him from getting sunburnt.

"Shut up, idiot."

"HEY, don't call me an idiot! You're the moron who left home to be molested by a creepy snake pervert," Naruto yelled.

Sasuke snorted and looked unimpressed (and also scratched absently at his zit), so Naruto decided it was time for a dramatic speech. And then hopefully, Sakura-chan would hit Sasuke while he was distracted and they could all head home before the ramen stand closed.

'Good plan.'

"Sasuke! We've come to take you back, whether you want to go or not. 'Cause Sakura-chan and I care about--" and that's when Naruto's voice cracked in an utterly embarrassing way.

Sakura glanced over at Naruto, wide-eyed, and Sasuke gave him an infuriating smirk.

"What was that? Did you accidently swallow a mouse, dobe?"

"ShUt uP!" Naruto squeaked, then slapped a hand over his mouth, absolutely mortified. And he'd started out the day sounding so manly goddammit!

"As Naruto was saying," Sakura interrupted, "we are here to bring you back, Sasuke. Are you going to come willingly or not?"

Sasuke looked Sakura over. She'd grown a little. Her hair was a bit longer then the last time he'd seen her, but still hung above her shoulders. Her hands were gripped into fists and Sasuke could sense the chakra building in her limbs as she prepared to tackle him.

Her skirt was shorter and...and...

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"You're bleeding."

"Huh?"

Naruto's head snapped around and he followed Sasuke's gaze to where he was staring intently at the front of Sakura's skirt. His mouth gaped open and he whirled back around to face Sasuke.

"You bastard!" he screetched, "I thought you had only hit Yamato-san with that stupid pass. You wounded Sakura-chan!"

"It wasn't me," Sasuke exclaimed, frowning. But he examined his sword anyway, for blood.

Sakura, in the meantime, groaned and put a hand to her flushed cheeks. She had obviously misjudged the calendar. Again.

"So that's why you were so cranky on the way up here," Sai observed, earning a heated glare from the pink-haired kunoichi that clearly said I-will-kill-you-later-I-swear.

"What's he talking about, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked.

"Shut up," Sakura replied, through clenched teeth. "We're leaving."

"But what about Sasuke?"

"He can wait a week."

Sasuke watched Sakura drag Naruto away, and tried to return his face to its previous aloof expression. When Kabuto and Orochimaru showed up, he had just about managed it.

"Sasuke-kun, I can give you some alcohol swabs to put on your chin," Kabuto offered.

Orochimaru hid a grin and Sasuke scowled.

He hated everybody.

--

And that was how puberty defeated Team Seven.

The End.