Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters

Summary: Hisoka laments over his weakness. Tsuzuki/Hisoka

Warnings: There's some spoilers


Since Hisoka was born he had a delicate constitution. His empathy only added to his weakened body. Hisoka leaned back on his couch and closed his eyes, memories washing over him like a tidal wave. How many times had he fainted on Tsuzuki? How many times had he had to quit his martial arts lessons for a day due to his condition? I'm so sick of this, Hisoka thought, frustrated. How can I protect Tsuzuki when I can't even defend myself? Well, that's not entirely true. He does have his empathy and it has protected him. Yeah, but only when I get emotional, he thought.

Hisoka sighs, keeping his eyes closed. There's nothing I can do to change my body. So why do I keep torturing myself. But still, he would do anything to protect the one he loves, so he has to find some way to gain power.

Tsuzuki, his love, the one who always protected him.

"I can't let him keep protecting me like that. I want to be the one who keeps him safe from harm." Hisoka laid down on the couch and buried his head into the pillow.

His strive to become stronger lead to his daily martial arts training, despite his delicate state. Everyone in the office knew why he was doing this, pushing himself beyond his limits. Tsuzuki. Of course Hisoka knew very well that he loves Tsuzuki but he won't admit that to the others. They loved to tease him about it, especially Watari, Yuma and Saya but Hisoka still won't openly admit. He's not ready for that and he's not sure if he will be for a long time. Besides, the only person who really needs to know his feelings is Tsuzuki.

"Tsuzuki. I wonder what's he doing right now? Probably getting a sugar high," Hisoka smiled into the pillow at the thought.

Sitting back up on the couch Hisoka stretched. Glancing over at the clock, he decided to take a nap before having some lunch. He felt worn out and wanted to sleep the weariness away.

Tsuzuki knocked at Hisoka's door, grinning. He decided to stop by the bakery and buy lunch for Hisoka and himself. Tsuzuki couldn't wait to sink his teeth into the strawberry cheesecake he got for himself and to give Hisoka an angel cake that he knew the empath can handle eating. Tsuzuki knocked again.

"Hisoka? Hello!" Tsuzuki fished Hisoka's spare key out from its hiding place and opened up the door. "Hisoka, where are you?"

Tsuzuki closed the door and looked around the living room but there was no sign of the empath. He sat the cakes on the coffee table and hanged his jacket on the coat rack; this wasn't his house so he wasn't about to toss his jacket anywhere, besides, Hisoka would kill him for doing that.

"Hisoka!" he called again before he headed up the stairs. I hope he's okay.

Tsuzuki made his way to Hisoka's room and pushed the door open gently. The sight he saw brought a smile to his face. Hisoka had his comforter pulled over him and only a tuff of fair hair can be seen. He'd bet that under that comforter Hisoka was kneading the material, very much like a kitten. There's much about Hisoka that reminds Tsuzuki of a cat: the kneading, cat naps, the ability to curl up pretty much anywhere and fall asleep. Tsuzuki went over to Hisoka and sat on the bed. He pulled the blanket down a bit to uncover Hisoka's face and admired the delicate, cherubim features. Delicate. That word describes and contradict Hisoka in so many ways. Physically and looks wise, he's delicate. But, Hisoka has such a strong will that's surprising for someone who has a weak constitution. He can definitely take care of himself but there are times when he needs to be pampered and cared for, although Hisoka would vehemently deny this. What bothered Tsuzuki the most was that Hisoka refused to see how strong he really was. He tended to think that due to his delicate nature that it wasn't possible for him to be powerful but he was so wrong about that. There's an inner strength to him that was amazing. It was the strength of Hisoka's that saved him from the flames in Kyoto. Hisoka has trouble accepting that he has this power and often yells at Tsuzuki for treating him like a child when he hugged or held him. Of course, Tsuzuki believed that was actually about denial. He doesn't' want to admit that there was something deeper when Tsuzuki would caress his skin as he held him tightly.

Tsuzuki shook his head in amusement and slightly shook Hisoka.

"Hey, Hisoka," Tsuzuki cooed. "Time for lunch."

"Hmmm mmm," came a mumbled reply.

Oh, goodness, he looks so adorable, Tsuzuki thought. He could help it, he really wanted to hold the boy. Tsuzuki pulled the svelte body flushed up against him.

Petting the fair hair, Tsuzuki cooed some more. "Hisoka, wake up or I'll kiss you."

Green eyes opened slightly and blinked several times before taking in what was said.


"Oh, you're awake! Darn it, I wanted to kiss you," Tsuzuki nuzzled Hisoka's cheek.

"Huh?" Hisoka was certain that he wasn't hearing what he thought Tsuzuki was saying. And did Tsuzuki just nuzzled his cheek?

"Time for lunch Hisoka. I got you an angel cake since they aren't too sweet." Tsuzuki still held onto Hisoka.

"Why am I in your arms, Tsuzuki?" Hisoka asked.

Tsuzuki gave Hisoka a serious look. "Well, you were looking so cute and besides, isn't normal for a person to hold the person he loves?"

Hisoka's eyes widened in shock at Tsuzuki's confession. Yes, he's in love with Tsuzuki and to a degree he knew Tsuzuki had some sort of feelings for him but honestly, Hisoka thought he would be the first one to confess.

"Awww, you're speechless," Tsuzuki hugged Hisoka a little tighter. "I love you but you already knew, didn't you. Just like I know you love me. I knew how you felt the moment you hugged me in Touda's flames. You saved me because your love is so strong."

Green eyes remained wide opened as Hisoka didn't know what to say. Tsuzuki thought he was strong? Well, strong people let their emotions be known to loved ones, right? He wanted to say those three words to Tsuzuki. Still unable to speak, Hisoka did the next best thing, he leaned up to the dark haired man and kissed him.

"I love you too, Tsuzuki."

Because you're the one who made me strong.

The End

Okay, I seemed to have steered off in another direction toward the end with this one but I liked it better this way.