We're back! (Nope, you are no back. You're pure belly.) Why you always have to make a lame joke? (My jokes aren't lame… okay, maybe I should look for another guy to write my material.) Who writes it now? (Carrot Top.) groan. Can you please say the disclaimer, Beast Boy?
(Okay. DISCLAIMER. Ramiro, as you guys already know, doesn't own me, or any other Titan or related character; we are property of Warner Brothers and DC comics. We'll have a special guest in this fic, but we're not ruining the surprise, so we'll have a second disclaimer later for his use.)
Thanks, BB. Now, before my assistant… (Oh, oh, please, let me tell a joke!) Rats! I almost avoided it! (Okay, here I come. What's green and then yellow, green and then yellow, green and then yellow?) No idea. (A turtle rolling down a hill!)
It's official… comedy is dead. (Hey!) Now, as I was saying, and before my assistant tries to joke again, ON WITH THE SHOW!
TARGET: THE TEEN TITANS.
A Teen Titans' story by Acosta Pérez José Ramiro.
"Oh, please, Raven!"
"Don't you speak English? I already told you. Please, leave me alone."
At the Titans' common room, Cyborg, Robin, and Starfire rolled their eyes because of the little argument they had been hearing for the last half hour. As usual, Beast Boy is trying to make Raven laugh, while she just wants to end reading one of her books on her regular spot at the common room. As everybody knows, this kind of argument only ends when Raven loses her patience and throws Gar through a window, or he handles to tell her the joke… then she throws him through the window anyway.
"Do you think BB has a death wish, or something?" Robin asked Cyborg in a whisper while they play videogames. Actually, the green teen isn't in real danger, since Beast Boy can fly, and, when Raven throws him with enough force, he lands at the ocean (where he can morph into a fish and return to the Tower), so he's never really harmed, but the experience, of course, isn't a very pleasing one.
"Nah. It's just that Raven is the only one who usually has enough patience to hear his jokes. I normally just ignore them." Cyborg replied without losing sight of the screen.
"I hear them too, but I admit our friend's sense of humor is too hard to understand for me." Starfire, who's placed next to Robin watching her friends' game, comments.
"For you, and for anyone else in this planet, Star." The mechanical teenager smirks while making his car on screen to gain a little advantage over Robin's. Meanwhile, since Raven keeps refusing to hear Beast Boy's joke, he decides to use a more direct approach.
"Knock, knock." The green teen says, placing right behind the empathic girl.
Raven frowns, and tries to keep her attention on the book.
"Knock, knock." BB insists, now located in front of the girl.
Raven clenches her teeth, and one glass at the kitchen sink explodes in black energy, unnoticed to everyone.
"Knock, knock." BB is now whispering at Raven's right ear.
"Who's there?" Raven groans in defeat.
"Boo." BB happily says.
"Boo, who?" Raven asks, in her usual monotone. Then, surprisingly, Beast Boy gives her a little hug, and gently rubs Raven's head.
"There, there, don't cry. I'm here with you." The changeling says in a sweet fatherly tone. Raven blushes slightly and wide opens her eyes; luckily, she thinks, the other Titans are distracted by the game, so they can't see the scene behind them. After a few seconds, Beast Boy breaks the embrace, and laughs.
"You see, Raven? It was a good one, right?" The jokester asks, excited. Raven puts her hood on so he can't see her cheeks, and, a second later…
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."
The green boy is covered by a black aura, yet, surprisingly, instead of flying at high speed through the window, Raven just dumps him on the coach, right next to Cyborg, not so gently, but not nearly as hard as anyone could expect.
"No. It wasn't a good one, Beast Boy… yet, I admit it was original. You're improving." Raven comments, and then goes back to reading her book. The other Titans stop watching the screen to look at the green grinning guy next to them.
"Sorry, but if I tell you guys what I did, she might throw me through a wall instead of a window. You didn't see it, you missed it." Beast Boy tells them while sitting properly. His teammates shrug, and go back to the game, this time with the green boy cheering alongside Star while Raven, unnoticed to them, gets a little smile.
Outside the tower, a man, using a ninja-like outfit, emerges from the sea. Even if he swam all the way to the tower from Jump City's docks, this person is not even a little tired. Arriving this way to the Titans' headquarters, obviously, is harder than doing it by using a boat or something like that, but Cyborg's surveillance system detects immediately when a vehicle approaches the place, while a swimming guy is commonly mistaken as a dolphin or other animal. It's almost eight P.M., so it's already dark on the outside, and this guy moves so fast and carefully, almost feline-like, he is almost invisible on his dark suit. After a couple of minutes, necessary to move through the Tower's surveillance system without activating the alarms, the figure is next to the west wall, ready to make his own entrance.
"Okay, guys, since I already told Raven a joke, it's your turn." Beast Boy tells his companions once they are done playing the game (by the way, Cyborg, as usual, ended first place).
"Oh, please, dude, we just ate dinner two hours ago! Your jokes do a mess with my digestion!" Cyborg says with a groan. Robin and Starfire chuckle at the comment, while Raven just ignores them.
"This is a short one, I promise. Okay, do you know where the cat was when the lights went off?" Beast Boy says, doing his best to not laugh at his own joke before time.
"Uh… I give up, Friend Beast Boy. Where did the feline was at the moment the lights were absent?" Star asked.
"In the darkness!" Beast Boy exclaims. Then, in a perfect cue, and before Cyborg or Robin could smack their own foreheads…
The Tower's lights went off.
"Hey, Raven was right, you're improving the jokes! Now you have special effects on them!" Cyborg commented while activating his shoulder's emergency lights.
"Uh… that wasn't me, Cy, really. You know how much I hate blackouts." Beast Boy admitted, changing his goofy grin for a slightly annoyed expression.
"Probably is just a fuse or something like that. I'll check it." Robin said while taking out his own flashlight. Star was now next to Raven, using one of her starbolts to get some light as well.
"I'll do it, Robin. I just checked the fuse box last week, and it worked fine, so this might be a more serious problem, especially since the emergency lights I installed hadn't activated yet. Back in a moment." Cyborg said to his leader while using his robotic strength to open the automatic doors (obviously, without power, the doors aren't working) and walking out from the common room. The other Titans sat at the large couch, and stayed silent for a moment, until…
"Well, while Friend Cyborg is repairing the box of fuses, I'll gladly entertain you with some Tameranian campfire songs." Starfire said with a huge smile. Her teammates gulped, but nobody, even Raven, dared to say anything to avoid hurting the alien girl's feelings.
"No wonder Cyborg was so eager to leave." Raven whispered to Beast Boy, while they both kept nervous smiles.
A couple of minutes later (knowing that either Star was singing, or Beast Boy was telling jokes, to kill some time, he wasn't in a hurry to do his job), Cyborg arrived at the basement, and started looking for the emergency lights' system. After activating the system, and the lights returned, he focused on the main system, whose panel was a few feet away.
"This can't be good." Cyborg said to himself when looking at some wires. He activated his communicator to contact Robin.
"GOOORNAAK AK CHAP'UL TEPPEK, GUAKK'AMOLE CHEECHAR'ONN K'ANTT'NFLAXX TIN'TAAN…" Cyborg covered his human ear when hearing some of Starfire's singing at his communicator, right before hearing Robin slightly pained voice.
"Cyborg, you need help down there? Please, tell me you need help!" Robin said the last part in a whisper. Star was so entertained by her own song, she didn't notice when the lights returned, so hadn't stop singing.
"Robin, tell Star to finish the concert, and listen. I found some damaged wires, and it's not any kind of damage. They seem been cut by a very sharp blade… I think we might have an intruder in the Tower." Cyborg stopped talking when his robotic ear detected a slight breathing sound right over his head.