This is the most generic piece of pure fluff that I have ever written...I think. I am terribly sorry, and I will apologize for it beforehand. You see, I was at camp and was going slightly insane, so I felt the need to channel that insanity into a truly terrible piece of writing. I hope you enjoy!

By the way-- yes, I own everything. I am, in fact, Chris Carter, and I own the souls of everyone who has ever worked on the X-files, particularly Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny.

That's a complete lie.

Dammit. He punched the wall in frustration as he watched the door softly click closed.

He'd been working himself up all day! Thta morning he'd woken with the firm conviction that today was the day that he was going to end it all. Over the past few months, it had gotten steadily and horrible worse-- though, in the back of his mind, in the spot where he stored the things that he couldn't admit to even himself, he knew that he'd had this problem all along.

It was a problem, too. It had gotten to the point where he couldn't sleep or eat. He just wanted to spend all of his tim in bed, staring at the wall. And the last thing that Spooky Mulder, the FBI's most work-a-holic agent wanted to do was come to work in the morning.

And he'd worked himself up to take care of it-- he was going to put a stop to the floundering and the uncertainty. But then his opportunity just stood up and (quite literally) walked out the door, leaving him staring dumbly in disbelief at the space it had once occupied. This is no way to treat a guy! He angrily thought at a God he had never been sure even existed. What have I ever done to you?

Perhaps unsurprisingly, no one nswered, and Mulder slumped dejectedly back into his chair, pulling a bag of sunflower seeds from the drawer of his desk. Popping a handful into his mouth, he grabbed a pencil and lobbed it viciously at the ceiling, hearing a satisfying "thunk" as it stuck.

He was preparing to do the same to another unfortunate writing utensil when his opportunity walked right back in the door. "It started to rain," it said, brushingn strands of damp hair from its forhead. "I came back to get my umbrella." Mulder stared at it, as though a ghost had just floated up before him and shouted "BOO!"

"Mulder?" the apparition said, waving a hand before his face. When the man showed no reaction, it shrugged, grabbed an umbrella from a bookshelf, and walked towards the open door.

Mulder, seeing his one chance getting ready to escape a second time, lurched forward crying out "Wait!" Unfortunately, his mouth was still full of sunflower seeds, so all he managed to do was make a noise similar to "Wflmph!" and spray seeds everywhere. He wiped his mouth quickly on the back of his sleeve adn quickly brushed the papers with sunflower-crust on them off the table. Clearing his throat, he called again, "Wait! Scully!"

The redhead poked her head back into the room. "Mulder?" she asked. "What the hell is wrong?'

"Erm..." Though technically Mulder had thougt this far ahead in the interview this morning as he was practicing, what had suonded perfect, suave, and smooth in front of the mirror currently lacked a certain...panache. Plus, he felt as though there was something blocking his throat, and even if he had come up with the perfect words, they would not have been able to fight their way out of his mouth.

So, considering all these obstacles, Mulder thought it a major achievement when he was able to gasp out, "I have something to tell you."

His partner was not listening. "Why are there sunflower seeds all over the filing cabinets?" she asked.

"I have something to tell you!" Mulder repeated, louder this time. His breathing was beginning to return to normal as he watched his partner's attention switch to him.

"Yes?" she inquired. "Is it those papers that Skinner said he'd send down?"


"Did my mother call?"


"Oh my God!" Scully exclaimed. "Did someone die?"


"Then what the hell is wrong?" she exploded, obviously frustrated by his evasiveness.

"It's not that easy," Mulder explained. "These kinds of things require drama and flair when they are revealed."

"What kinds of things? Mulder, the rain is getting worse and I've got to drive home in it. Please tell me so that I can leave!"

"Scully..." Mulder said softly. His heart, sensing that The Moment was near, sped up again.

"What, Mulder?" she asked sarcastically. Her huge blue eyes were sparking with a painfully apparent desire to punch him if he didn't tell her what was on his mind.

The Time had come. There was no way he was going to be getting out of this unless some incredibly elaborate lying was involved. And even incredibly elaborate lies had their holes, and if Scully uncovrered them as falsehoods-- well, he probably would not live to see the next day.

So. The Truth. Dammit. He was screwed.

"Scully, I..." The thing blocking his throat seemed to come alive and was currently squirming madly in a way that prevented anything from emerging from his mouth. His partner stood, Looking at him with her eyebrow cocked in a way that should really not make him feel the way that it did. She shifted slightly, adjusting her grip slightlyon her umbrella-- she was about to either walk out the door yet again, or hit him really, really hard.

It was that, more than anything, that finally drove the words up and out. "Scully...IthinkI'minlovewithyou."

He watched her face as she picked the individual words out of the mess of noises he had just uttered. As the meaning became clear, her cheeks paled, then flushed as red as her hair, then paled again, and she slid down the wall to sink onto the floor.

This rather worried Mulder, and he hurried around his desk towards her. "Scully, are you alright?"

The woman waved a hand. "Oh, yeah, sure. Ummm...did you just say what i think you just said?"

Mulder grimaced and sat down beside his partner, long legs stretched out before him. "Probably. I've been working myself up to it for kind of a long time."

Scully glanced over at him, her eyes vivid against her pale skin. She gave a slight smile that, while faint, was enough to send butterflies chasing through his stomach. Slowly, she reached out and took his hand in hers. Looking Mulder directly in the eye, she whispered, "That's really sweet, Mulder."

A silence stretched between the two as they gazed at one another. Finally, Mulder cleared his throat and said, "Er...thanks. But I was really kind of hoping for more of a definite answer. A more solid one."

"Like a sort of yes-or-no type of response?"

"If it isn't too much trouble."

"Well, let's see." Scully released her partner's hand and stood, surveying the office and teh man on the floor who was staring beseechingly up at her. "Mulder-- no matter how much I nag you, you remain consistantly awful about doing your paperwork. You crunch sunflower seeds like a fiend-- and it's an annoying habit, believe me. You are so focused on this quest of yours that I have severe doubts in your ability to carry on a life outside of work-- and the state of your apartment does nothing but boost these doubts. I've lost more in helping you than I ever have doing anything else in my entire life. You are constantly ditching me or leaving me with all the work while you caper off following some weak or nonexistant lead." She trailed off, shaking her had and apparantly at a complete loss for words.

Mulder gave a brave, if somewhat shaky smile and said, "I know it sounds pathetic, but...I'm sorry. But I sort of fail to see how this connects to giving a solid answer..." Without realizing it, he cringed, waiting for her to lash out at him for his response.

Scully sighed and shook her head again-- and Mulder felt his world begin to crack and crumble around him. Then she knelt before him and smiled brilliantly, whispering, "What I'm trying to say is that I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."

Mulder could do nothing but stare in amazement as the woman he loved leaned forward and brushed her lips to his. Their kiss was soft at first, as both were terribly uncertain about this new situation. But it quickly deepened-- Mulder's hands went to Scully's waist, and she buried her fingers in his hair, crushing his mouth to hers.

When they finally broke apart, still on the floor of their office, Mulder was out of breath. "Why didn't you just come out and say it?" he panted, knowing that she understood what he was talking about.

"These things require drama and flair," she said, with an impish smile. Mulder laughed and pulled her in for another kiss.

God. Even I'm cringing. Oh, well. Please review!