Ivelle: Hey! We wanted to do something funny for the fans to read. Hope you enjoy these silly stories of couples discovering the hardships of living together. Read and Review!

Also, the ". . ." means the person on the other side of the phone is talking.

Disclaimer: We don't own Prince of Tennis, just our dirty minds.


The Cactus In Between

"Yuuta, have you ever felt this way?"

". . ."

"You know, when you're with someone."

". . ."

"No, Mizuki isn't good enough. He couldn't possibly compare to-"

"Fuji! You've been on the phone for too long."

"Oh, Yuuta. I have to go. It's rare when Tezuka's in the mood. I love you."

"Fuji! Please don't tell people such obscene things."

Tezuka continues to read his book.


The book is whipped out of Tezuka's hands.

"Fuji! Put that thing away."

"But Tezuka . . . you never do what I want."

Tezuka turns to the side ignoring him.


Tezuka grabbed the whip, pulling hard.

Fuji is yanked onto the bed.

"Fuji. It's time to sleep."

"But Tezuka, you don't want to-"



"Hello? Tezuka's and Fuji's, not having sex."

". . ."

"Because Tezuka's mad."

". . ."

"I used the whip again."

". . ."

"I know, right."

". . ."

"I bet Oishi's never like that."

". . ."

"You should try. Tezuka liked it."

Tezuka grabbed the phone from Fuji and hung it up.

"I said, don't tell people that kind of stuff."

"Are you mad? Because you can whip me if you want."

Tezuka ignored Fuji once again and slipped the bed covers over his shoulders.

Tezuka heard rustling.

When Tezuka felt Fuji get back into bed, he turns to kiss Fuji and was met with a green, poky intrudence.

"Fuji, we are not sleeping with the cactus again."

"But Tezuka, it's lonely over there by the window. It needs the warmth of our bodies."

Tezuka picks up the cactus and sets it on the nightstand. He turns to go to sleep, seeing Fuji has already drifted off.

An hour later, Tezuka reached out to hold Fuji close. And was met with a green, poky intrudence.

Tezuka was about to reprimand Fuji when he saw he was peacefully sleeping.

Tezuka moved the cactus again, and then embraced Fuji.

Tezuka awoke again when he felt something uncomfortable poking into his chest.

It was morning and Tezuka opened his eyes and was met with a green, poky intrudence.

For the third time, Tezuka moved the cactus back onto the nightstand.

Getting ready for work, Tezuka got out of bed and took a shower.

When he walked out of the bathroom, he saw Fuji standing over the cactus, watering it lovingly.

"Fuji, why was the cactus sleeping with us last night?"

Fuji gives Tezuka a puzzling look.

"But Tezuka, I thought you placed it on the nightstand."

"I did, but you kept putting it between us."

"How could I possibly have reached over you without you noticing?"

Tezuka frowns and leaves for work.

Looking for something to do, Fuji went over to the bookcase and scanned the titles.

Satisfied, he pulled one of them out and began to read it.

Tezuka came home from a hard day of work to find Fuji talking on the phone.

"That's nothing compared to what we do."

". . ."

"I know you want to know. How will you ever learn?"

". . ."

"It's a pleasurable size. I'd say it was-"


"Welcome home, Tezuka! I was just talking to Yuuta about how big your-"


"Tezuka's mad. I should go, because if I don't, tonight he won't want to-"


"Bye Yuuta. I'll tell you tomorrow. I love you."

Tezuka walks over to the bookcase, wanting a new book to read.

"Fuji, what did I tell you about telling people those things?"

"But I can't help it. How can I not brag about you?"

While scanning the books, Tezuka's eye suddenly twitches.

"Fuji? Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Of course. I found you."

Tezuka jerks out a book and holds it up for Fuji to see.

"I read that today. I liked it."

"I know you read it. How come you didn't put it back?"

"I-I did."

Tezuka promptly marched over to Fuji and grabbed him by the shirt, leading him over to the bookcase.

"Tezuka! In the living room?"

Tezuka ignored Fuji's comment and pointed to a spot in the bookcase.

"Is this where you found it?"


"Then why did you put it there?"

"I'm sorry, Tezuka."

Fuji puts the book back in its 'rightful' spot.

Tezuka gave Fuji an exasperated look.

"Can I move your cactus anywhere I want?"

"Yes. But that might kind of hurt."

"You're not getting the point here."

"I'm sorry, Tezuka. I'll put the books in their exact spot. Not one spot over. I promise."

"That's all I ask."

Fuji reached into his back pocket.

"Then can you do what I ask?"

"I'm not wearing those."

"I didn't want you to."

Tezuka followed Fuji into the bedroom.

The cactus silently listened to the noises coming from the room.

"Oh, Tezuka. I've been a naughty boy."

The cactus heard the clicking of handcuffs.

"Fuji? Do you have the key?"


Like it? The next couple will none other than the GOLDEN PAIR! Excited? You should be. Please review and tell us what pairing you want to see!