A/N: Ok, so I'm not a big Jake/Peyton fan. I'm more of a Leyton girl. That being said I've always felt bad for Jake because it's obvious he really does love Peyton. This fic is set right after season three. Peyton killed herself because of all the drama that kept building up and Jake has come back for her funeral.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or Jimmy Eat World.


A huddled mass surrounded a grey marble tombstone. Those present were in silent shock. After all, it had only been less than a week since the tragic demise of Tree Hill's own Peyton Sawyer. Now, her friends watched as her white shiny casket gleamed in the sun. They all were thinking, "How could this have happened?" But the only one who had yet to shed a tear was Jake Jagileski. All he did was stare at the hole where his love would be buried.

There's no one in town I know. You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.

She was his everything. The reason he got up in the morning. The hope he carried for the future. She was the second most important girl in his life behind his daughter Jenny. She had given him and his daughter a home. Opened her arms and welcomed him back to this town. She had loved him, unselfishly. Now she was gone. And he never had a chance to say goodbye.

What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.

The preacher rattled on. Talked of forgiveness and peace. Of love and happiness. Of all the things that Peyton Sawyer had been denied. Of all the reasons she slit her wrists and now sat six feet under. Jake saw the irony. He felt it burn inside him. He looked up to catch a glance at those around him. His eyes immediately fell upon Lucas and Brooke.

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

They were crying. Brooke was so hysterical that Jake wondered if she would collapse. Lucas tried to hold her up, but Jake could tell Lucas wasn't as strong as he'd like to be. Jake couldn't help feeling they both deserved it. They deserved that gnawing, nagging feeling in their gut that said they should have done something. The feeling that told them they could have stopped it. He wondered if Lucas knew how much he meant to Peyton. Did he know he owned her heart?

So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.

He shifted his weight. He hated the sound of the leaves crunching underneath his dress shoes. His dress shoes weren't like Lucas's, polished and clean. So shiny you could see his blue eyes reflected back in them. No Jake Jageleski's shoes were dull. There was a scuff on far right corner and his laces were tattered at the ends. But he was never quite as good as Lucas was. He never could live up to him.

May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

He had wanted her to be happy. That's all he ever wanted. When you love someone, all you can wish for is that they'll be happy. It's why he told her to follow her heart back to Tree Hill. He was the one who pushed her towards Lucas. He had been the one who in the end told her to confront Brooke. Did he regret it? Yes. If he had known where it would have led her, he wouldn't have said anything. But it was too late for that.

And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live.

He wished that he hadn't let her go. He wished he could relive that moment when he sang for her during her visit. The look in her eyes at that momentalmost outshadowed the look she got when she talked about Lucas. And it was for this reason, he couldn't understand why Lucas would choose Brooke. Sure, Brooke was pretty and perky, but Peyton was too beautiful for words. She was perfect. She had a heart that yearned to give to others. She had eyes that reached into your soul and made you believe. She cared about everyone and everything. She always put herself before others. The one time she didn't she had paid for it ten times over. And he never thought she deserved the punishment Brooke had dealed out. She was too good for this town and these people. She wasn't meant for this world.

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

He didn't even notice that the service was over. He looked up and suddenly the crowds were scattering. A few people stayed behind. Nathan and Haley. Brooke and Lucas. Karen and Deb. They were all standing on the other side of the grave. He closed his eyes and blocked out all the noise. The crunching leaves, the sobs and the wind. He pictured her in all white. Walking down the stairs of her house. She still had curly hair that bounced with each step. He saw her smile at him. And at that point he fell to his knees. He wanted so bad to be strong, but he couldn't help it when the tears rolled down his cheeks. She was gone. He felt Lucas's hand on his shoulder and Brooke whispering soothing words in his ear. The angry part of him wanted to yell at them and scold them. The rational part knew it wasn't their fault. They didn't bring the razor to Peyton's forearm. They couldn't help how she felt. He couldn't either.

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

Peyton looked down upon her former lover. She was in peace now. Her tired body was now resting in the arms of both her mothers. She couldn't help but frown seeing him like this. He was the only one who really loved her. She knew eventually his aching would be soothed. His heart would heal, yetthe scars wouldn't fade. She would always be there watching over him. Protecting him. And he could feel it.