Disclaimer: blah blah Naruto blah blah don't own blah blah even blah blah if I want blah blah…

Rating: M, for future lemon-scenes, and possible bloody violence-scenes.

Summary: YAOI Who is he? Who really is this person that everyone calls 'Naruto'. Secrets are revealed when a sudden curiousity by a team-mate causes some subtle prying and spying.

Pairing: SasuNaru, which means yaoi!

Warnings: Kakashi-bashing, and, once again: yaoi-warning! Possible ANGST! AU, OOC, and I don't know when one of my OC's will strike again…



Accepting The Power

He was wearing a light white kimono, which fitted his bright blue eyes and blonde hair. He looked like an angel. Pity that no one actually saw him like this. A smile played on his lips, as he stared at the reflection in the mirror. This was him. The boy with dead, empty, hollow eyes, and bleeding heart. This silence one. With his body relaxed, he felt like drowning in the environment.

Who was he?

Naruto reached his hand, and touched the mirror.

They just came back from the mission where they met Haku and Zabuza. It was almost too hard to keep acting. Luckily no one thought twice when he pulled out the team-work plan when Zabuza attacked for the first time. The smile faded, and a frown replaced it. Sasuke has the Sharingan now. Surely Kakashi-sensei will start teaching Sasuke…even more than before. Sakura wasn't really interested in training anyway, but what about Naruto? Who'd teach him? He was alone…

Stop it, Kit, I'm still here for you, he heard a familiar, and a dear voice from inside him saying. The blond nodded. Yes, Kyubi. The Kyubi was always there for him. When no one else cared, it was the Kyubi who healed him, comforted him, and cheered him up.

'Hai…and I'm thankful for that, Kyo-chan' Naruto replied. He almost felt the worried smile the Kyubi gave him.

Naruto closed his eyes.

Kit, my offer is still valid, Kyubi said.

'I know, Kyo-chan, but you know that every time you give me part of your knowledge, you'll fade more and more away. I don't want that! You're my…everything.' Naruto said, ending the conversation. The blond knew that the Kyubi was sighing there. The boy grinned. Kyo-chan was sometimes so funny… Naruto shook his head, and went to the kitchen, to prepare some ramen.

The apartment Naruto was living in was small, but comfortable. Very early – before he knew how it affects the Kyubi – the fix taught him how to place a seal on his door and windows, to prevent any stranger from entering. Only the Hokage and Iruka-sensei knew about how Naruto's house looked like from inside. Unlike many may think, it was clean. And white. Almost everything was white there. When Iruka once asked about the colour, Naruto told him that he wanted to capture every sight of light there.

When one opens the front door, they will be in a kitchen. The kitchen was very small… He had there the fridge (with a small freezer), furnace, and few closets. They were all good quality. Simply, Naruto, who wasn't a stupid boy at all, learned very early that if he wanted to buy anything useful, he should use henge, so people won't treat him badly while shopping. In the kitchen there was a small table, made of a sakura-wood, and two chairs from the same material. Few green plants were placed to make the place more beautiful.

The bathroom was small and white. It was a normal bathroom, with a bathtub and all.

His bedroom was the biggest room in the house. The he had the small bed, and a bookshelf. The bookshelf was full of scrolls. Empty and full ones. Naruto loved making his own jutsus, and writing them down for better use. Sometimes, Naruto felt like he was living in a palace. He loved the house where he was living. It was so bright and beautiful!

He needed the light to kill the darkness inside him.

Naruto wasn't the type of people, who'd simply shrug off an insult, or such a thing. For example, he remembered every time when Kakashi ignored him to teach Sasuke. Naruto opened his eyes. They were now sharp and bitter. Why Sasuke? Always Sasuke! Damn it, Naruto was fourths legacy!

Yes, Naruto knew who his parents were – the Kyubi told him.

Yondaime, the greatest Hokage ever, was his father. He was also Kakashi's sensei. Naruto smirked. What would he say, if he knew how his precious, genius pupil treated his son? Did Kakashi even know who Naruto really was? Both the Hokage and Iruka knew. If Kakashi knew, he didn't care. If he didn't care…he was like the other villagers. Worth nothing.

Naruto shook his head, and walked to his room. He has been planning on making few new jutsus, since the fight with Haku. Another genius person with a kekkei genkai. Naruto frowned. Haku was a good person. It was pity that he died. The blond boy took an empty scroll, and wrote the kanji of 'katon' on the etiquette from outside. Then he started to make a fire-based jutsu, which would be able to defeat such a techniques as Haku's Demonic Ice mirrors. One never knows when it'd be useful.

Kit, if you just accepted my power…everything would be much easier!

'I don't want to lose you' Naruto replied firmly. The Kyubi sighed. Why was Naruto being so stubborn? Why he couldn't just accept the offer for his own good?

You'd be able to beat anyone. Even your sensei!

'But I'd lose you. I value you more than power, Kyo-chan'

Naruto never knew how much these words meant to the demon. But the Kyubi was anyhow determined on giving its power to the vessel.

Kit, I'll merge away anyway, so the time doesn't matter. Please. I'm begging you.

'Stop it, Kyo-chan! That's not like you to act like this! Please!' Naruto replied with a pained tone.

I want you to rise, boy. I want you to show them that you are something greater than they can ever be. You are like a son to me, my little kit.

'But I don't want to lose you! If you go, I'll be all alone again! Please! I don't care about the others, you are my everything! You are the one I live for! If you go away, then what would I become? Nothing! I'd become just a hollow, the nothingness itself, without you!' Naruto's face was holding a twisted, pained expression.

'Please, Kyo-chan. Drop the topic…'

I won't Kit. Not this time. You saw how you almost died in your previous mission, in the Water Country. Maybe next time you won't be as lucky. Maybe next time, you and your team will die, because you weren't strong enough. Tapping on my chakra occasionally is not a big change in your skills and abilities.


Kit, if I merge with you, I'd never truly leave you. I'd still be part of you. You'd have my memories and skills. The only difference is that we won't be able to talk anymore.

And that was the problem. Naruto didn't want a life without this deep, comforting and familiar voice. This firm and safe being at his side. He'd feel… lost. Lost in his pool of darkness. Lost in this world of shadows and memories.

'Why? Why do you want to leave?' Naruto cried.

Kit, truth to be told, I'm getting tired. I was already old when I was sealed inside you. If I wasn't nothing would have stopped me to begin with! The Kyubi snorted, causing a small smile to appear at the blond boy's face.

Please Kit. What will happen to me, will be what I only truly wish. I can finally rest.

'No. NO! STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!' Naruto jumped up, pressing his hands on his ears, as if it would stop him from hearing anything. He stood in silence for what was about ten seconds, and then ran to wear his normal, orange outfit, so he would be able to go out. The white kimono was simply thrown on the floor, as Naruto opened the door, and ran out. He barely stopped to activate the lock-seals again, as he ran off.

Naruto ran blindly. Not bothering to even register the people around him. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to see. He didn't want to hear. He just…ran. Focusing on his rhythm of breathing, and the feet moving. He ran into few people, but barely apologised. Where was he running? He didn't know. He'll stop when he will feel like stopping. When he'll be tired enough to not to think about the words Kyubi had said.

It will soon start to rain. The sun was behind the dark clouds, and the wind was already giving its freezing touch on Naruto.

Kit, stop!

'Don't talk! You…even you want to leave me! I…I can't keep going without you. Kyo-chan, I know I am being selfish, but please…just please…'

Naruto was now in the forest. He slowed down, and then stopped. Panting and sweating.

"Please…" He whispered, and fell on his knees, burying his head on his hands, tears falling from his eyes. Tears. There are many reasons to cry. Some people cry because they are happy. Others for sadness. There are tears for pain too.


Kit, this is hard for me too, and you're not helping…

'Just how do you expect me to help? Do you really expect me to say that yes, give me power and go to hell? Do you really think so lowly about me?'


Naruto was able to hear it now; the tired tone in the deep voice. He sighed sadly.

'But I want you to stay with me! I don't want you to die!' The blond boy whispered.

Please, Kit. I only want to rest. Want to finally feel free. Please do not restrain me. I have been thinking about this for a while. Kit, please.

'This is their entire fault! THEIR FAULT!' Naruto mentally screamed, meaning the villagers and the Hokages, along with everyone else. His wrath was aimed on everyone. The Kyubi sighed. It knew that Naruto was stubborn, but it had hoped for him to understand, that the merging would be for the best of both of them.

Kit, trust me, I'll always be with you. When I will go away, just look at the stars and you'll find me there. I'll watch over you, I'll be proud of you, an every time you talk to me, even if you can't hear me, I will answer. As long as you remember me, I'll exist in your heart. Kit…try to look from my point of view…


The fox sighed when feeling that Naruto was finally starting to accept the offer.

This is what I want, so can I be selfish? Can I let myself do something you do not wish me to do?

'Yeah, but…'

Kit, trust me. I'd never lie to you, or betray you. With my powers, you'll sooner achieve your dream!

'I wanted to become a Hokage for you! So we could rule together! But when you're no more, why would I become a Hokage?'

Then find another goal to achieve. Do not care about other people's opinions, dear.

'Kyo-chan…' Naruto was now crying like a waterfall.

Stand up, Kit, and let's go back to home.

Naruto nodded, and started slowly to walk to where his apartment was, trying to avoid people. They'd only laugh at him, insult him, attack him and stuff. The blond sighed. He felt the wind again, and hoped for it to find its way to the Kyubi. When Naruto arrived in front of his door, he cancelled the jutsu, and opened the door, stepping in. The white kimono was where he left it to be.

Change your clothes, Kit. I love to see you white. It suits you, my little angel.

'Kyo-chan…' Naruto sobbed, and changed his clothes once again.

Wash your face and hands, eat something, and then, let's start the merging.

Naruto felt the agony, sorrow and sadness. He did as told and made some shrimp flavoured ramen to eat. He ate slowly, as if it'd mean anything. After finishing, he spent extra time to clean…only to make Kyubi stay longer in him.

Now, activate the lock-spell again. We do not wish for anyone to come in the middle of merging, now do we?


Naruto felt that the Kyubi was happy for some reason. It was more cheerful than what it was a while ago. Naruto made the few, familiar seals.

Now, go to your room, and lie on the floor. No, not in the bed because it'll turn out to be uncomfortable, you'll see. Kit… are you ready?


Kit, this is best for the both of us. Do not feel worried, sad or guilty.


And, the last words before we start, Kit…ie, Naruto… I love you.

'I…I love you too…'

And then it started.

The pain! Naruto felt like burning. The cool floor helped a little bit. He was surrounded with red chakra, and it was swirling around him like a little storm. Nothing physical changed. The hair stayed blond and short, the eyes stayed blue, and he was still short.

After a while, the pain focused on his back. Naruto didn't see it, but in his back was forming a tattoo-like picture. A nine-tailed fox-demon. It covered almost the whole back.

Naruto was clawing the floor, trembling, trying not to scream. It was hard to breath. The blond closed his eyes, when everything began to swirl. Kyubi's memories were starting to merge with Naruto's.

Naruto saw the centuries come and go. People born and die. Villages rise and fall. He saw Kyubi's family, when he once had one, and he saw them all dying.

He saw Konoha…it was first only few houses. Then with a shop or two. People came, few left, but most of them stayed. The first Hokage ruled the village. He was a wise man, with his pretty family. Then came the second. Then the third. When the fourth was on control, Kyubi's last kit died.

Blinded by sorrow, agony and madness, the fox-demon attacked the first thing it saw: the village. The fight was hard for it, especially when it finally realized that it can't win. But before it managed to leave, a man on the top of a giant toad attacked, forming few seals.

The Kyubi felt its bones melting, and its soul to be ripped apart. And then…darkness for a while.

When the red eyes opened again, it was in a cage, in a dark place.

Five years of darkness. Five years alone. Until, once, a blond kid appeared. Kyubi had realized that it was sealed inside someone, but it was the first time it saw the vessel.

It turned out to be a tender child, with bright blue eyes, and golden locks. The child was at first panicking, but then calmed down. It was the first time Naruto was physically attacked by someone, and the first time he met the Kyubi.

Of course they both, who shared some kind of negative feelings towards the village, befriended each other pretty easily, and Kyubi healed the boy's wounds, and started to teach him the basics of being a ninja, still strictly forbidding him from showing off, and ordering him to act like a fool.

When Naruto was seven, he found out that every time the Kyubi teaches him something, it causes the fox to fade more and more away, so he stopped the learning from the demon, and started to learn by himself.

Until came the day, when the Kyubi for the first time offered the merging. Of course, Naruto declined. He was nine back then. Now, three years later, he finally accepted.

Tears started to fall from the blue eyes, when he felt the presence of his best friend fading away…

'No…don't go…!' Naruto whimpered, even thought knowing that there was no more place for backing out.

"Don't go…"

With the last whispers, the tender form relaxed, and no sound was heard anymore…

Firrrrrst chapter…hope you liked it!