Title: Toys ''R' Us: Chapter One.

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Whatever shall Buffy and Faith do after being trapped inside a local Toys 'R' Us by a pair of mischievous wizards under Willow's watch?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything here, save for the storyline. All characters and the like are trademark properties of Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy and it's affiliates. Barbie and Skipper are copyrighted to Matel. Toys 'R' Us is copyrighted to their fucking bizarre giraffe and whoever else. Please don't sue. I'm just a poor girl. Really, I am.

A/N: Figured it was time to write something without angst. This is strictly for fun. Hope you enjoy and oh, thoughts are in italic.

Please read and review. :)

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"You little shits! Wait until I get the fuck outta here!" Faith was pounding on the thick glass door that was sealed with a force even Slayer's couldn't break passed. Two little faces speckled with freckles smugly smiled at the girls and with a wave, they each dodged off in opposite directions without the another. "GET BACK HERE YOU HARRY POTTER FREAKS!" No, Faith never read the books. The movies were a different story...okay, not entirely, but yeah, you know what I mean.

"It's no use, Faith. We already saw what they're capable of. We'll just have to wait until Willow or someone with enough common sense to realize we're missing shows up." Buffy's voice echoed in the closed toy store.

"B," The brunette started reasonably, "We're in a fucking toy store! I don't think this'll be the first place Red or even One Eyed Zeppo will think about lookin' for us." Huffing, Faith sank into a nearby bean bag and listened to the silence that filled the void around them.

After a few minutes, Buffy smiled and fell into a bag next to Faith. "Kinda nice though. Right?" Mushing her body into the bean filled chair, the blonde lazily closed her eyes.

"What, being tricked by a pair of squirts barely outta diapers?" Canting her head to the side, Faith eyed her possibly insane Slayer sister critically.

"No. The peace and quiet. Kind of ironic that we had to be trapped inside a toy store to get that, huh?" Buffy was easily amused. Something Faith noted.

"Cheah, real funny. I'm stuck in here with you of all people while Ron and Harry are runnin' around without adult supervision and Lost is on!" Groaning Faith pushed herself up and wandered around the area of aisle one.

"You watch Lost?" Cracking an eye open, emerald hue followed the pacing pattern Faith was making.

"Yeah, I do actually. It's a wicked series. Plus, kinda diggin' the Kate chick." The brunette replied while pulling a box off one of the shelves.

"Guess you can relate to the character, hmm?" What the hell is she doing? "Are you planning on stealing a Barbie doll, Faith? Isn't that a little low?" Once again Buffy held an air of pride about her as if she was better than Faith and by no means was it done on purpose at the moment.

"Fuck you, B. I'm jus' looking at it. Never got one as a kid." Sympathy filled Buffy's eyes at Faith's confession. Only to be replaced by curiousity when her counterpart sank back besides her with two boxes and like a child on Christmas morning, pried the cardboard open with ferocity.

"What the hell are you doing then?" Leaning over Faith's shoulder, Buffy stared intently.

"G'na see what all the fuss was about." Did they seriously always have all these fuckin' wires bonding Barbie dolls to the box? Kinda kinky. Faith thought with her tongue pressed between her lips, a look of determination crossing her features as eyebrows knitted together.

"I cannot believe I'm an accessory to a crime. A crime that involves Barbie dolls." This was not how Buffy pictured her night to go as.

With an air of triumph, Faith had both dolls free of their restraints and held high in the air. Each one dancing around in their cheap clothing of flimsy cotton. "Fuck, man. Now I see why some girls end up with eating disorders when they hit puberty. These aren't role models. If anythin', they're fucking false idols. If Barbie was a real chick, I'd tell her to eat a meal or five." Settling Barbie across her lap, Faith pried the clothing off of Skipper and examined the crinkle haired doll in childlike fascination. "Is this Barbie's girlfriend?" Was an honest question.

"No. That's her sister." Reaching for Barbie, Buffy's hand was stung with a fierce slap. "Ow, why'd'cha do that for?" Pouting sensually, Buffy rubbed her hand as if in pain. All the while Faith shrugged.

"Because you're likely going to not give me the doll back if I ask for it." Faith replied.

"Are you serious? You don't wanna share?" Huffing, Buffy stood with small arms folding over her chest.

Possessively Faith clung to the dolls, "Get your own, B. These are mine." Next came off Barbie's clothing. Two plastic dolls were being looked over in disgust. "Even Skipper is too skinny and what kinda name is Skipper anyhow?" Faith never got an answer. Buffy was busy finding her own toys to play with.

I cannot believe Faith wouldn't share with me! Guh, she is such a brat. Noticing the toy she wanted being up three shelves too high, the blonde scaled the shelving unit with ease. Clinging onto the edge of shelf three, Buffy swung a leg around, trying to level herself out as she hung mid-air. With her pinky inching forward, it wrapped arounf the corner edge of the box until it rattled and off the shelf it fell. Crashing to the ground.

Jumping in follow, Buffy landed on her feet gracefully and scooped the box up, heading back to Faith.

When the blonde made her way back, secretly hiding her toy from view, Faith inched closer. "Whatcha got there?" When Buffy didn't budge to show, Faith got pissed, "C'mon! Lemme fuckin' see, B."

"No." Golden curls shook wildly and her back turned to the brunette. Sure, this was rather childish, but Faith started it!

"Whatever. I don't wanna see anyway. You likely picked something really stupid." Provoked Faith.

"Is not!" When Buffy's box was torn open, she craddled the life size babydoll in her arms and showed Faith. "I always wanted a Water Baby." She said shyly.

"A whata-who?" That fucking thing was ugly as all hell, but Faith kept her comments to herself.

"A Water Baby. You fill it with water and it feels like a real infant. Just at the moment it's lacking the water." Buffy adjusted the tiny violet cap over the pinkish toned scalp.

"Looks like it's lacking a lot of things." Back to her dolls Faith's attention went.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Buffy demanded with a glare, holding the babydoll protectively.

"It looks like it's missing a chromosome or hundred." Snickered the youngest of the girls set on making Skipper and Barbie make-out moments before the damned Water Baby was bounced off her head in annoyance.