A/N: Written for LJ's zodiacfanfic challenge.
Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss Whedon; will put back later.
The Ram, Fire. Keywords: Aggressive, impatient.
Jayne doesn't like it at first when Zoe tells him that he and the Doctor are setting up for and cleaning up after supper together. He groans, complains, and bitches his gorram heart out, but the warrior woman remains resolute… it's all "captain's orders" this, and "Simon's not so bad, really" that, and "gorram it, Jayne, you're working with Simon." Women. At least Wash is the one who has to hit that whenever his flying gets her in the mood. Jayne quietly suspects that he'd kill himself before fucking her.
He also doesn't like when working with the Doctor proves to not be so bad. Boy mostly keeps to himself, leaving Shepherd to tend the actual food and setting out plates and whatnot. Sticking that pretty mouth of his out in a way that just demands to be stared at same way as a Reaver does. Well not exactly the same, but… pretty damn close. Maybe more like the reality of Reavers than the actual thing. It's just there, jutting out from the rest of his face, and it's stark and demanding and, if it takes a punch to make it quit being so pretty, then Jayne'll deliver. It'll keep him from looking at it anyway, which'll keep Zoe from telling him to get to work.
After supper, clean up goes easily, and Jayne is glad to have something to stare at other than that gorram pretty mouth. This doesn't last long, though. While he's trying to clean up the last bits of food, he keeps looking over at the Doctor as he works on the rest of the dishes. Is he aware that his pants leave just enough up to Jayne's imagination to be dangerous? Or that every time he shifts his weight, Jayne has to check to make sure there's no stray Mals or Kaylees or Rivers around to make things complicated. Especially no Rivers.
Finally, he's sure no one's there and he can't ruttin' take it no more. The Doctor sets the last plate in the stack, puts the stack away, and surveys the clean kitchen; Jayne turns the boy around with one hand and kisses him full on that gorram pretty mouth. Must be pretty intimidating, being that the only form of protest is a muffled whinin' sound and two arms that come between them, but the whinin's tolerable and the arms ain't much too worry about. He ain't completely helpless, but they're small an' they bend easily. Just to show the Doctor who's boss here, Jayne shoves him into the counter, kissing him with increased ferocity. His head knocks into the cupboard, which makes him grunt or somethin', which, in turn, makes Jayne start feeling around past his clothes. Smooth skin – nothin' outta the ordinary, and, with a free hand, Jayne shoves one arm down.
"Gorram it, boy," he growls. "That mouth o' yours ain't the only thing 'o yers that's pretty, is it?"