Disclaimer: I own nothing – not even the writing style! This is my first ASOUE story… let me know if it's worth continuing!

The Injurious Introduction

Dear Readers,

If you have stumbled upon this fan fiction on your own accord, then I solemnly suggest that you turn your browser back and read a story from The Littlest Elf fandom instead. You may have accidentally clicked on this fan fiction in the online profile of one of my many representatives, in which case you should immediately close this page and restart your computer.

However, if you possess a mind deranged enough to enjoy such content as this story contains, then by all means, read on to learn about the troubled characters that it is my duty to write about. If the true tale of a crumbling castle, terrifying disguises, cake-sniffing orphans, a glass slipper, a fancy ball, and a greedy count are enough to intrigue you, then I welcome you to continue reading. Don't say you haven't been warned.

I have hired one of my newest representatives to record these terrifying events, as it is our obligation to reveal the truth to the public, but feel free to throw your computer out the window at any time, and go outside to pick daisies or partake in something more joyful.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket