He's always touching her, in one way or another. It would be sweet, I guess, if it wasn't so incredibly annoying. Usually his arm is draped over her shoulders in a casual way, as if to imply that he has her now, and nobody else has a chance. She appears to enjoy the constant contact, because she always seems to be smiling when he's around. And she'll lean against him ever so slightly, but I've noticed. I always notice the little things.
Like her smile when she looks at him. I notice that. Her entire face seems to light up as her eyes find their way to his face. And he'll glance down at her with that expression he has, a over confident smirk you might say. To me, it's a cocky way of expressing just how much money he has. But she seems to like it, which never ceases to bother me. I guess I'll never understand the connection they have with each other.
I heard that he was going to London, so I returned to try and get in contact with her. I've been here several times before that, just watching, trying to build up the nerve to talk to her. But she was always so absorbed in him, that I never found the confidence. But then she came to me, and I thought I had my chance, but she doesn't love me. She loves him. It will always be him.
And so I stand here, on the Yale campus, waiting for the reunion to unfold. I can tell by the way he's watching the corner that she's not expecting him, and that should the making for an especially romantic meeting. She appears suddenly, and I'm immediatly struck by her beauty. She's talking into her cellphone, probably to her mother like usual, but when she sees him her conversation comes to a screeching halt. Her mouth hangs open slightly, and she murmers something into the phone, before racing into his arms.
He smiles. She smiles. Their grip on each other is so tight that I'm pondering as to how they are actually breathing. When they pull apart from the hug, he reaches out and takes his chin into her hands. And then he smirks at her. God, I hate that expression more everytime I see it. She grins at him though, almost shyly, as his lips come crashing down on hers. I doubt they even notice the people swerving around them, or the envious glances being sent their way from his many girlfriend wannabees.
They pull apart, and he pushes strands of her hair behind her ear. Even from here, I can see the gaze in her eyes holds nothing but love. They begin walking towards me, so I move to a spot where I won't be seen. As always, his arm is dangling loosely around her shoulders. And as always, she is leaning into him, but now the action isn't slight. Her head is resting on his shoulder, and her lips are moving rapidly as she spouts of a funny story, I'm sure. He laughs and shoots a comment back to her, to which her reply takes only a split second. Banter. Even though I can't hear what they are saying, I know that they are shooting witty remarks back and forth with ease. I've heard them before, when I came here.
We used to do that, me and her, long before he ever came around. But he was different, I guess. He changed her. I don't like it, I can't like it. She's not the girl who fell in love with me anymore, although I'm still very much in love with her. They pull to a halt next to a bench and I have a clear view of the happy couple. My body revolts at the sight of the two of them: so happy, so in love. He says something to her, and her face breaks into a beautiful grin. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him passionately, right there in the middle of campus. I've never seen her kiss anyone like that in public. But like I said, he changed her.
It's in her eyes. Everything I need to do is in her eyes. She looks at him like she never looked at me, or that other loser she went out with. Everything about him seems to fascinate her, and the funny thing is, the same is true for him. He'll stare at her for minutes at a time, seeming to take in her every feature, her every action. I don't even think she notices, but when he turns his head, her gaze will wander to him. They are totally engrossed in each other.
They begin walking again, and again his arm finds its way around her shoulders. They are talking, laughing, smiling: everything I long for. I long for her to look at me like that, to lean against me, to kiss me in the middle of a public place. But I missed my chance. No, I threw away my chance. I often wonder what I was thinking, to have left a girl as beautiful and intelligent as her. But I was messed up back then, and I guess a little crazy.
But looking at them now, I'm sure they would've found each other anyway. Fate is a word that has grown on me ever since I left her, it kept me going, kept me alive when I felt like everything was falling apart. If I believed in fate, I could believe that I would be happy again. And so when I look at them, I think that this is their fate. They were meant to be together, as strange and unbelivable as it may seem.
He's rich. I hate that. But I guess I never really gave him a fair chance. And he must be something special, for her to look at him like that. He seems very of the moment, very out there. I suppose that's good for her. She always always the quiet, sheltered type. I always wanted to give her more, and here is the man that can finally hand her everything she deserves.
They are walking away from me now: her head resting against his shoulder, his arm pulling her closer. And I sudden feeing of acceptance washes over me. They are in love. The kind of love that only comes around once in a lifetime. I wasn't that love for her. I'm not even sure if she ever loved me, and I never stuck around long enough to find out. But he looks at her like she is the single most stunning thing he has ever seen. She deserves that.
So, Rory Gilmore has her Logan Huntzberger. I know they will get married, maybe have children, and live a life of happiness together. I know that because she kisses him in public, and leans against him when they walk. And so I as I follow them off the campus, I know it's the last time I'll ever see her. It's time to let her go, let her be happy, let her be...in love.
So where does that leave Jess Mariano, I wonder. Where does that leave me?