Author: The Humbug
Disclaimer: "Kim Possible" and all characters within (c) The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within. All other ideas are mine.
Rating: Rated-M for hints of sexual activity between consenting adult females, but I don't actually describe anything. If this will offend you, please read something else.
Summary: This is a Kim/Shego pairing one-shot; there is physical contact and romance between Kim & Shego but mostly tongue-in-cheek humor and is meant to be silly. WARNING: This story also includes the fetish of body expansion. Credit for the idea comes from this drawing http/ by Shydude.
The land was barren for miles around, so there were no leaves to rustle in the soft evening breeze. If there had been, they would have been many times louder than the stealthy movements of one very special young woman.
Kim Possible had visited the 'deserted' warehouse any times. In reality it was one of many secret lairs utilized by Dr. Drakken (a.k.a. Drew Lipsky). Drakken had made his intentions for world domination frightfully obvious many times. Kim had been here an equal number of times to foil his plans of conquest. Tonight was different.
Kim gained access to the lowest subbasement via an air ventilation shaft. Using a mental map from her previous visits, she eventually located that which she had come here to see.
In an isolated storage room apart from the main laboratories, a tall, lean woman was loading bottles and canisters onto a wheeled cart. The woman was a strikingly beautiful mixture of athletic and curvaceous. Her long, flowing black hair was in stark contrast to her pale green skin. Her name was Shego and she was the primary henchman to Dr. Drakken, often performing thefts and infiltration on his behalf.
Publicly she was the ach-enemy of Kim Possible. Privately they were lovers.
Right now Shego was wondering who was whispering her name.
Kim hissed again through the air vent. "Shego!"
Shego looked around, and then up at the vent. "Kim? What are you doing here? Ghaa... what if Drakken finds out about us?"
"Duh! It's Friday. I want to go out dancing with you tonight."
"No can do, Princess. As much as I'd like to, I'm stuck on disposal detail tonight. I can see you tomorrow, if that's ok?"
Kim knew that if she used her 'puppy-dog pout' it would be wasted on Shego because Kim was hidden in the vent, out of sight. So she chose to whine instead.
"Aww, pweeease? Take me dancing!"
"Bugger off, Kimmie! I'm busy, alright?"
Not to be put off, Kim removed the vent cover, so carefully that not a speck of dust was jarred, and the young girl dropped to the floor of the storage room.
"No way! You either dance with me back in town or we 'dance' here!" Kim quickly adopted her fighting stance. She wasn't going to let Shego get out of a weekly date that easily.
(Author's Note: Let's face it; Kim was being totally out of line.)
"Damn it, Kim! I do NOT have time for this! Drakken has me disposing of old and unstable chemicals that he's not used in so long that he doesn't want it left lying around. I've got to be very careful here. So, please, pretty please with sugar on top, will you please PISS OFF?"
Angry and annoyed and feeling bitchy, Kim leaped at Shego. The taller women was expecting this, but hoped that Kim wouldn't actually fight with her. Shego moved to block Kim's attack, missed, and landed flat on her butt from Kim's flying kick.
As a counter move, Shego ignited her hands with plasma fields. She was naturally able to do this as a result of a childhood encounter with a meteor strike. The plasma burned like the hottest flame, and increased the concussive force of her punches tenfold.
Please understand, these two women knew each other's attack styles so well, and were such skilled martial artists, that they didn't suffer real damage or injury easily. So normally, when Shego struck at Kim, the younger girl would parry the attack or shake it off and make her next move.
Well, tonight, not so much.
Shego aimed a plasma blast right at Kim's feet, not really wanting to do the young woman real harm. Kim dodged the blast, but it threw her farther than she'd intended to jump. Kim landed right on top of a very old and rusty canister, which promptly broke open and sprayed powder in Kim's face.
Kim began coughing and wiping the powder from her eyes. It tingled mildly, but otherwise caused no other sensations. Kim got quite a bit of in her mouth; it tasted like talcum powder.
"Damn it, Kimmie! See what you've done? This stuff could be dangerous! You..." Shego stopped, here eyes riveted on Kim.
"Hey, you said last week that we'd go dancing, so I thought..."
"If you think that you can give me a brush off that easy, I..."
Highly irritated at Shego for interrupting her diatribe, Kim demanded, "What?"
Shego pointed at Kim, her finger directed towards Kim's bare midriff. Kim looked down, feeling angry and puzzled. She was totally surprised at what she saw.
Kim's belly, normally trim and flat, was bulging out from under her shirt. It projected forward in a swollen mound from just underneath her pert breasts to below her belt. Her normally baggy cargo pants were obviously straining to contain her lower abdomen, and her tight, black mission shirt was rolling upwards at the hem.
Kim looked up at Shego, totally stunned and confused by what was happening to her. I say 'was happening' because she was inflating like a balloon, and getting larger by the second!
Her belly wasn't the only thing growing; her hips, butt and chest were also increasing in size and girth. Her pants were ready to split at the seams and her shirt was stretched so tight as to look almost shear. Kim's breasts were larger than anything that had ever appeared in 'gentlemen's magazines' and were even bigger than watermelons.
Even her arms and legs looked thicker, and her cheeks seemed to be slightly puffy as well. With a faint hissing sound, Kim's body was becoming a large, bloated sphere.
"No!" Kim looked to Shego for answers. "Help me!"
It had been months since the two sworn enemies had sworn their love for one another. Shego was as shocked by Kim's inflation as Kim was herself. Seeing the woman she loved being inflated like a balloon caused Shego to admit to a rising panic.
"Oh, no, baby! Hang on!" Shego ran the short distance to her lover. Kim had now reached a size of five feet in diameter, her body a swollen pink ball with two feet and two hands and a head. The head wore a very frightened expression on its face.
"Shego... I feel so full! I can't stop growing! I... I think I'm going to BURST!"
Having lost all anatomic definition, Kim had become immobile because she no longer had legs to move her around. She could only stare down at her swelling body in horror. She was scared to death that she was about to pop. Shego was equally scared, and for the same reason.
Shego had intended to hold Kim in her arms to comfort the panicking girl, but quickly realized that it as hopeless: Kim was far too big, having surpassed eight feet in diameter.
Instead, Shego leaped up onto Kim's chest. Kim no longer had any visible breasts; her expanding form had incorporated her former curves into her new rounded shape. Shego wrapped her arms around Kim's neck and planted kisses all over Kim's face. By now Kim was crying and badly shaken by he growth, but Shego's presence seemed to have a slight calming effect.
"Shego, I'm sorry for being a bitch tonight... please forgive me. If anything happens..."
"Damn it, Princess, I said hang on! You'll... be OK. Just don't panic!" In reality, Shego was very much afraid that she was about to see her lover explode.
"I love you, Shego! Please help me!"
"I love you too, baby! Just hang on, try not to panic!"
Shego held tight to Kim's swollen form, kissing her and praying that the expected blast would not come. They waited together.
A few tense seconds later they were still waiting.
"I... think it's stopped." Kim whispered.
"Are you sure?" Shego whispered back.
"I don't feel like I'm growing anymore. My skin still feels very tight, though."
"Why are we whispering?"
"Well, I still don't want to burst! Doy!"
Shego looked down to see how large Kim had become. She was pretty far off the floor, but otherwise there wasn't much else to see.
Shego gave Kim's worried face another kiss and then slid down Kim's massive belly. Taking a step back, and then another, and then three more steps back, Shego said, "Wow!"
Kim had become a parade balloon caricature of herself. Her beautiful, albeit slightly puffy face, crowned with her flowing red hair, was resting atop a perfectly round sphere roughly ten feet in diameter. Her black shirt was stretched so tight over her flesh that it was almost transparent. Kim's dainty hands protruded through gapping holes in the fabric that had once been sleeves; her hands were waving uselessly.
Her small, dainty breasts, usually so pointy (to Shego's delight and amusement) were nowhere to be found. There were two large bulges, barely a hint of a bosom, beneath her chin.
The shirt had already been midriff length, but that was hardly important now. Her once-flat stomach had been replaced with a broad equator of pink skin that encircled the globe she had become. That skin was still as unlined and flawless as it had been the last time Shego had seen her young lover nude. It was a vast, smooth expanse, only interrupted by the tiny pit of Kim's navel.
Kim's utility belt had broken under the strain of her expansion; the buckle was in several pieces and the heavy leather material was coiled on the floor. The cargo pants, usually so loose, were drum-tight. It was a tribute to the weave of the canvas, considering how well they held against the strain. Kim's tiny feet were sticking out from her lower hemisphere, several inches off the floor.
Considering how close to panic she'd been a few moments ago, Shego found herself wondering about the part of Kim's anatomy that was really resting on the floor.
Shego shook her head to clear it of her current thoughts.
"How do I look?"
Shego shrugged, smirked, and said, "You look really, really fat."
Kim's flopping hands clenched into fists, her entire form quivered in anger.
"I am NOT fat!"
"Well, then you look really, really bloated. You know, like you're retaining a lot of water."
"Aahh! Nuts! This is so not happening!" Kim no longer looked like she was bout to cry; she was becoming highly pissed. "I'm athletic... a cheerleader for crying out loud!"
"Calm down, Pumpkin. You might still burst if you keep going on like that."
This calmed Kim down real fast.
Shego hadn't been able to take her eyes of Kim's new shape since she'd hit the floor. The petite redhead was a knockout in anyone's book, especially Shego's. The taller, slightly older criminal had immediately been drawn to Kim's hot body and passionate inner-self a long time ago, but Shego never felt attracted to large women before.
Now she found herself almost drooling over this new Kim.
As if in a trance, Shego walked over to Kim and placed the open palm of her hand on Kim's belly. The skin was warm, almost hot. The skin was very firm and tight, too.
Shego wondered exactly how smooth it was. She leaned even closer and placed her left cheek against Kim, her face very close to Kim's belly button. Both hands were now pressed into the unyielding flesh.
Against her cheek, the skin was very hot, the ultra fine hairs caressing Shego's face and lips. Shego began to move her face all over Kim's belly; her tongue eventually found it's way into Kim's navel.
"Ummm... uh, uh... wha- what are you doing?" Kim asked. Her hypersensitive skin was transmitting all sorts of stimulus to her brain. "Are you licking my belly?"
"Mmm? Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry."
"No, that's Ok. I mean it, that's really Ok. I mean... you can keep doing it, if you want to..."
Shego reigned in her desire.
"Princess, the first order of business is to find out what's happened to you. If I'm going to attempt a make-out session with the circus fat lady..."
"Damn it, I AM NOT FAT!"
"We've got to be sure that you won't explode and splatter me with yuck. Ok?"
"And then you lick my belly?"
Shego signed. That's what she loved about this girl; she never gave up.
"Yes, and anything else that we can figure out."
"Goodie! What now?"
Shego looked around the storage room until she spied the intercom panel. She ambled over to it, muttering to herself.
"I should have taken her dancing..."
Hitting the lair-wide circuit, Shego called, "Yo, Doc! I need some 411."
"... Drakkie loves Dr. Ducky! Does Dr. Ducky love Drakkie...?"
A giggle from behind her made Shego smack her forehead in disgust.
"Attention, Dr. Drakken! Remember the talk we had about leaving the bathroom intercom on?"
"... oh... SHEGO, STOP EAVESDROPING ON ME ALL THE TIME!"
"Do you need a little more 'me time'?'
The electronic speaker relayed the tinny squeak, possibly that of a tiny, yellow rubber duck being jammed into a soap dish.
"No, no! I'm fine! Just outlining my next plan for world conquest! Uh, what did you want?"
Shego glanced around until she saw the crumpled remnants of the rusty canister.
"Doc, I've got a beat-up container of something labeled 'XPND-99' down here that looks ready to rupture." Shego and Kim exchanged winks. "I want to know what's in it and how screwed I'll be if I get any on me."
"Oh, that... well, it's a reagent I developed to expand living tissues."
"Do I want to know why?"
"Two words, Shego: 'Human Air Bags'. With the money that I would make selling that concept to the automakers, I could refinance my plan for moon-based parabolic mirrors. You see, that's why I'm the evil genius and you're the sidekick; you just don't see the big picture!"
"That was three words, evil genius."
"What if I spill any of the crapola on the floor? Is it dangerous?"
"Of course not. Just mop it up with some water. Water negates its effects."
Shego looked over shoulder at Kim, who was examining as much of her new body as she could see. The young woman had a mesmerized look on her face and seemed to be enjoying herself.
"Uh, Doc, isn't the human body approximately 90 water? How does the stuff work?"
"That just makes its effect on humans temporary; say four to five hours, tops. And that's more like 88, so nyaa!" The intercom clicked off.
Shego turned to her ballooned lover. "You heard the man, Princess. No dancing, but if I can roll you to somewhere more private, we might be able to salvage the evening."
Kim smiled down at the woman with the midnight hair. She had long since lost the fear that had kept her so close to crying. There was a strong pleasurable feeling that replaced it. She no longer felt like she would explode at the slightest touch; rather, she felt as if she were more protected and durable than she had ever been.
"I think Drakken has something here! I feel like I could bounce like a ball!"
Shego breathed easier now that she knew Kim wasn't in any real danger. She dearly loved the younger girl and had come to see her as the lighter half of her normally dark nature. Kim, like Shego, was intelligent, independent, resourceful, strong, and determined. The differences were mostly either external or deeply internal, and the two women complimented each other perfectly.
Shego also relaxed knowing that she could afford to give 'little Miss Perfect bitch' an ass chewing for getting herself in this mess and scaring the Hell out of both of them!
"Bounce? BOUNCE? Oh, you're going to bounce, alright, when I kick your fat keister down the nearest flight of stairs!"
Kim was surprised at first, and a little hurt. But then she acknowledged to herself that Shego was entitled to this tirade. She dearly loved the older girl and had come to see her as the darker half of... blah, blah, blah.
"I'm sorry, Shego... Shegee-wegee..."
"Stop it, Kimmie! I mean it. I'm really pissed at you right now!"
Kim brought out her 'big gun'; she kicked her 'puppy dog pout' into high gear.
"Ack! My eyes! Kim, damn it...!" Shego made a bestial growl deep in her throat and advanced on the swollen girl. Halfway there she ignited her plasma fields from her hands.
Kim made a loud 'gulp' as she watched the advancing villain. Maybe she'd pushed her lover too far.
"I should pop you like a tick! Stick a pin in you and see if you whiz around the room a few times! I should..."
Shego stood in front of the vast mound of inflated flesh and brought her hands right up to the skin. She drew in her plasma fields and dampened them as much as she could. The warm stream of photons sent a tsunami of pleasure straight to Kim's brain like an arrow from Heaven. She moaned and shook and quivered.
"Ung... She-Shego? What are... are you going to do?"
"I should see if I have any of that lemon curd left in the kitchen upstairs."
"Please and thank you! Don't forget the belly button."
The girls agreed by mutual consent that the decrepit storage room was not the right place for them to invest their next four to five hours. Transporting Kim turned out to be the least of their worries because for all her increased size, she hadn't gained any mass; Kim still weighted about 105 lbs.
Maneuvering the swollen girl so that her head was parallel to the floor, Shego began rolling Kim across the floor. The dizzying motion was a little disturbing at first, but since her over-stretched skin had become hypersensitive, everything she came in contact with brought her close to orgasm.
Stopping every few yards to ask Kim is she was all right, and to also exchange fiercely passionate kisses, the two made their way down the hallway towards the freight elevator.
When they reached the wooden safety barricade, Shego misjudged the width of the elevator and Kim's head struck the doorway of the elevator with an audible 'thump'.
"Oh, baby, I'm sorry! I couldn't see around you! Are you Ok?"
"Kimmie? Kim? Please talk to me. Are you Ok?"
"Why, I'm fine, thank you, Susan!"
"Huh?" Shego rushed around to where Kim's head thrust out from her body.
"... pretty birds..."
Shego saw a small bruise forming along Kim's temple. The young woman was a little stunned, but Shego would take care of that when they got to her bedroom.
Squeezing the immense Kim into the freight elevator proved to be an arduous task. Shego was glad that she worked out regularly because shoving the rotund babe into the tight space took all of her might. It didn't help that Kim was too loopy to assist.
Huffing and puffing, Shego caught her breath once the job was done. There would be just enough room for her in the elevator.
Shego noticed that one of her gloves, removed from her hands and tucked into her belt so as to better enjoy Kim's tender flesh, had apparently fallen out a few feet back down the hallway. Glancing left and right to ensure that no subordinate henchmen were around, she walked back to pick up the glove.
Having retrieved the errant accessory, she turned back in time to see the safety barricade slowly descend. Once closed, and with Kim's swollen belly most likely pressing on the 'UP' button, the elevator began to ascend.
Running back and frantically pounding on the control pad accomplished nothing; the elevator continued to rise. Shego ran to the nearby staircase and took the stairs three at a time. She quickly slowed her pace to two stairs at a time, then one at a time.
Kim, by the way, was absolutely fine. She was singing 'Daisy, Daisy' to herself.
By the time Shego reached the habitation level of the lair, she was sucking for air and felt as if she would vomit until she turned inside out.
(Author's Note: Yeah, that does sound a little gross, doesn't it? I bet you didn't like the 'splatter me with yuck' line either, huh?)
Shego came through the door from the stairwell on her hands and knees. She had a painful stitch in her side and rolled over to catch her breath. That breath never came because what she saw before her made her freeze.
The elevator door was open and it was empty. But that wasn't the worst of it.
"Is this yours?"
Shego looked up and saw the inverted blue face of Dr. Drakken looking down at her. His hair was still damp and glistening from his bath, but he was dressed in his normal dark blue laboratory coat.
Drakken's tiny hand was pointing to the far wall opposite the elevator door. There was Kim, still huge, still inflated, leaning against the wall. Her weather-balloon body had apparently forced itself from the confining space of the elevator and rolled out.
Furthermore, Shego noticed that Kim seemed to have regained her senses. The young woman was starring at Drakken in fright and apparently doing her best not to make any noise. She was also being sure not to move a muscle, in as much as she had been able to move at all.
Shego was torn between panic at being caught with Kim Possible (inflated or otherwise) and confusion at Kim's attempt to hide in plain sight. Both conflicting emotions were so strong as to give Shego a petite mal.
"Uh, uh, uh..."
Drakken turned away from Shego and stalked over to the bloated form. He looked it up and down, inspecting every inch of the blimp-sized Kim. He even placed his miniscule hands against her warm flesh and pushed, at first gently then with greater pressure.
Kim's eyes rolled back in head. If Kim's guess was right, she could not risk letting Drakken know the truth. She did her best to ignore the erotic pleasure that his touch gave her
Shego had regained her feet and was sheepishly walking up behind Drakken. There was no way for her to avoid telling him the truth, telling him about she and Kim having a relationship, admitting to the accident in the storage chamber downstairs and watching Drakken do his best to take advantage of the helpless teen.
"So tell me..."
Oh, no, here it comes.
"Where in the world did you ever find a Kim Possible blow-up doll?"
Shego's reality check bounced. The simplistic nature of the question, matched only by it's directness, skewed the world slightly for a few seconds. She had no words to cover this situation, none at all. The only thing that she could focus on, besides Drakken, was her young lover's face, several feet above eye level.
Kim was staring down at Shego intently. Kim winked...
"Uh, yeah... YEAH, Doc, that's, uh... mine. I, uh... bought it, uh... online."
Drakken nodded his understanding. "Yes, that eBay will sell anything, won't they?" The evil scientist kept poking at Kim's inflated body.
"So, you bought this for what? Practice? Workouts?"
"Sure, workouts. It's really durable and the sweat cleans right off it. It is getting a little old and worn in places."
Kim narrowed her eyes as she glared down at Shego. When Drakken's attention was away from her, Shego returned the look and shrugged, her expression easily read as 'What else am I supposed to say?'
"I am amazed at how resilient the material is. I believe that you have severely over-inflated it, however. It just might pop. It really does almost feel like flesh." The blue man removed one of his insulated gloves and began caressing Kim's belly.
Shego was highly repulsed at her lover getting all this attention from a man as warped as Dr. Drakken. A larger concern was that Kim was becoming highly agitated from his touch; Kim was aroused from the contact and she was also very ticklish.
Shego began to panic as she watched Kim clamp her lips together, straining to hold in the giggles and the moans. Her head shook violently but her shear size kept that motion from being transmitted to the rest of her body. Kim's eyes opened and rolled back to the whites.
"Shego, I asked you a question. Hel-lo? Earth to Shego..."
The tall woman wrenched her gaze away from Kim's desperate situation.
"Hm? Sorry, Doc, what did you say?"
Drakken spun to face her, a frown marking his scarred face.
"You are very distracted. You need to remain focused, FOCUSED, I say. That is why you are the sidekick to my genius."
Shego's hands tightened into fists, glowing fists that she could have easily driven through Drakken's chest.
"Yes, Dr. Drakken, I have been distracted. You were saying?"
Smug as always, the evil scientist turned back to the bloated Kim and regarded the immense sphere of her body.
"I was wondering if you would consider lending it to me for a day... or two."
"What for?" Shego was puzzled by the question, and felt a little uneasy.
"Oh, I don't know. A few ideas that I've wanted to try out over the years. Never got the time or opportunity, you see. You say that the material is easy to clean?" Drakken leaned forward, his face mere inches from Kim's expanded midriff.
"Oh, look, the manufacturer created a reproduction of her navel..." Drakken sighed. Was he sticking his tongue out...?
"Ghaa! No! I, uh... no can do, Doc. I need it for the next few days. Got to stay in peak condition, don't you know? Maybe if it's still in usable shape I see what I can do for you."
Disappointed, but nodding his head, Drakken withdrew from Kim.
"I understand. You want to have a go at her yourself first, right?"
Dr. Drakken lifted his tiny hands and balled them into tiny fists. "You know, sparing. Fisticuffs..." He pretended to jab at an imaginary opponent, but actually struck a blow when he brought his fist back to far and punched himself in the nose.
"Yeah! That's right! Going to smack her around a few times! Really spank her silly!" As Drakken nursed his bruised nose, Shego and Kim exchanged over-dramatic winks.
The blue man walked away towards his laboratory. Shego didn't move, and Kim maintained her 'disguise'. As soon as the foot-thick door to the lab clicked shut...
"BWHAA HAAA HAAA!" Kim released her pent-up arousal like a steam whistle. Shego ran over to Kim, heaved her away from the wall, and rolled her down the hallway. Once Kim was rolling at a right fast pace, then Shego ran ahead of the massive girl so that she could open the doors to her room.
(Author's Note: OK, you caught me. At the last second, I was presented with the challenge of getting Kim through a door. Nutz! The solution... Shego's suite at Drakken's lair has an outer double door. I mean, doesn't everybody?)
Shego threw the doors open and leapt aside. Kim rolled through the doors...
... and impacted against the wall, totally obliterating a bookcase. Shego took one last fleeting look up and down the hallway to confirm that they weren't seen.
"Ok, Pumpkin, as soon as I find that jar of lemon curd, you're mine!"
"Please and thank you!"
Later, after approximately 3 hours and 57 minutes had elapsed, Shego was sprawled across Kim's enormous belly. Their session of lovemaking had been quite an adventure, considering Kim's size. Shego had put her inventive and clever mind to work and quickly discovered several ways to bring pleasure to both herself and her lover.
Her only disappointment was that some of them involved being ten feet away from Kim's beautiful face (but not all of them).
At the moment, Kim was leaning into a corner, with her head resting against a cushion placed there conveniently by Shego. What zippers and buttons that hadn't been destroyed by her initial growth had long been unfastened, leaving a pool of hopelessly over-stretched clothing on the floor around her.
Shego was dozing, stretched across Kim's upper abdomen. Shego was also nude, lying on her back with her own bare stomach just within reach of Kim's mouth. They were both sated and waiting for the effect of he "XPND-99" to wear off.
Suddenly, Kim felt a change deep within her body.
"Shego! Wake up! Something's happening to me... I feel a little queasy." Kim belched daintily and Shego became conscious of a bubbling sound in Kim's belly.
"Do you feel like you're growing again?"
"No... (burp)... but I do have that full feeling, and I feel a little sick." After all that the girls had been through that evening, Kim was starting to feel afraid again.
"Shego, whatever happens to me tonight, know that I do and always will love you."
"Cut that crap out, Princess, I'm not leaving you." Shego stayed on her perch, rolling over to lay her naked body on top of her lover's bloated form, but this time facing Kim directly. "I'm sticking around so we can see this little adventure to the end, even if you splatter me with yuck."
(Author's Note: the Humbug thrusts his fist in the air with a victory cry: "Yes"!)
The bubbling had become a rumbling, and Kim's tight flesh was quivering all over. The two girls held to each other for dear life, each awaiting the final outcome with growing horror. And then... and THEN...
"What the... Oh, good grief, Kim! That was rank!"
"Oh... that feels so much better!"
"Gag! Crack a window; you're killing me! Strike a match... better yet, don't!"
"Don't you dare laugh, Kimmie! This is NOT funny! You owe me a new rug!"
After several nose blistering minutes, Kim lay huddled among the remnants of her ruined clothing. Her body had returned to its normal size and shape and the young woman was none the worse for wear. Shego was desperately attempting to boost the power on the ventilation unit in her suite of rooms. Kim's prolonged and explosive venting had left an odorous pall in the air.
"You're just damn lucky that you didn't make a mess in here! That was gross!"
"Sorry, sweetheart. I really am! I didn't have any control over it. How did you think that the effect would wear off?"
"Well... it certainly wasn't that! How do you feel?"
"I feel good. I feel great; thanks for taking care of me for the last several hours."
Shego turned from the ventilation controls and leered. "It was my pleasure."
"I don't just mean physically; I meant emotionally, too. I was scared, really scared. I expected to die tonight." Kim wrapped herself in what was left of her shirt, mostly for reasons of modesty. "Thank you, Shego. I love you very much."
Shego walked over to Kim, pausing every few steps to fan the air with her hands in a futile gesture. She knelt down beside her younger lover and held her tightly.
"I know; I was scared too. There is nothing that frightens me more than losing you, and you know that nothing frightens me."
The women caressed each other for several minutes, each reminding the other that all was well; everything was going to be Ok. Eventually Kim noticed the time on a nearby wall clock.
"It's very late. I should get home. Can I borrow something from your closet?"
"Sure, baby." Shego took hold of Kim's chin and gently but firmly raised the red head's face until their eyes met.
"Look, you have got to make me a promise. We've been very lucky avoiding Drakken's suspicions for the past several months. We have to be ultra careful. Your sneaking in tonight and causing such a ruckus could easily have given the whole game away. Please promise me that you'll NEVER do anything like this again."
Kim met her lover's gaze evenly and she nodded. "I promise."
Together the two lovers found suitable clothing for Kim and quietly walked towards the secret exit of the lair.
It was in the early hours of the next morning when Dr. Drakken finally took a break from his current project. There were still a few hours before his morning cartoons, so this was a good time to get some sleep.
As he moved through the halls in the habitation level of the lair, he detected a rank stench. He located his stylus and made a notation in the margins of his clip board, mumbling to himself as he wrote:
"Note to self: no more five alarm chili in the henchman's cafeteria."
Final Note: See, I told you this was not to be taken seriously. This was definitely a one-shot and will have no sequels, at least none written by me. If not for the image by Shydude (see Summary) it would not have been written at all. I'm still a fan of 'B2E', but have no further plans to incorporate it into my Kim/Shego pairings fiction.
Did it rock? Did it suck? Please let me know at or at http/humbugmst3k. or even at http/ I'd appreciate the comments, please. I already have plans for more stories. Be well!