Title: That Malfoy Family
Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: After a one night stand with Lucius Malfoy, Harry is pregnant. Now he needs Draco's help.
Author's notes: This was so much fun to write – I hope you find it as enjoyable to read.
That Malfoy Family
"Harry!" Draco moaned, sounding as exasperated as only he could. "How in Merlin's beard could you do that? And did you really have to tell me?"
Harry gave him a Look. "Of course I had to tell you."
"Yes, well, of course you did, but still, did you have to tell me?" Draco said, as though his words made perfect sense. "How do you always manage to get into these situations?"
"I don't mean to!" Harry said. "They just— happen."
"Having sex with my father doesn't just happen," Draco said, rubbing at his temples. "In fact, having sex with anyone doesn't just happen, but especially not with my father!"
Harry gave him a second Look. He was getting rather good at giving the Look; he'd copied it from Draco, who used it quite a lot when Harry was being stupid – and that went without saying that it happened several times a day, at least if one asked Draco.
Draco sighed dramatically. "All right, all right. So what is your plan now?"
"Running away?" Harry squeaked, looking suddenly very unsure of himself.
"Stop being a stupid sod," Draco said. "Of course you can't run away – I wouldn't have anyone to laugh at if you did."
"Gee, thanks," Harry said sarcastically.
"No need to use that tone of voice," Draco sniffed. "I'm allowed to be a bit upset – if you and my father get married, you will become my step parent. That is cause for some concern on my part – how can I be sure that you will raise me well?"
"Draco, stop being absurd. You moved out of Malfoy Manor four years ago," Harry said. "Besides, he will not marry me – I'm fairly certain he won't ever want to talk to me again after I give him this particular piece of news."
Draco eyed him from top to swollen belly. "That's true."
"Draco! You're not being a supportive friend!" Harry said.
"Oh," said Draco, "was that what I was supposed to be?"
"Yes!" Harry said. "A supportive, good friend who is supposed to reassure me that his father will want to have something to do with me ever again and who won't just turn around and coldly break my heart!"
Draco looked thoughtful. "But why did you have to become pregnant? I mean, why did you have to be bottom to begin with?"
"Can you imagine your father being anything but on top?" Harry asked wickedly.
Draco made a face. "I'd rather not imagine anything that involves my father without clothes at all. I'll leave that to you."
"Thank you," Harry said, then he became sombre again. "I suppose that my imagination will be all that I'll have to live on now. I look completely disgusting!"
"Now, now," Draco said, standing up and patting Harry's belly. "You just look quite fat. It's not very attractive, but it's not completely disgusting. I hear some people get off on the thought of pregnant people."
"Draco," Harry whined, "could you possibly just shut up?"
"How have you hidden this for this long anyway?" Draco asked, ignoring Harry's request completely. "You said you were quite far along? So the kid will be popping out soon, right?"
Harry sighed. "Yes. The due date is in six weeks. I've been hiding it with spells, but now I'm getting too big – it shows even through the spells. I haven't been to work for a week because I'm afraid he'll see me."
"How did the two of you end up in bed together anyway?" Draco asked.
"There was a party," Harry said, shrugging. "Lots of alcohol was involved. He made it pretty clear afterwards that it had been a one-time thing."
Draco looked thoughtful but didn't say anything.
"What?" Harry asked.
"Well, I may be wrong, but—"
"My father has been obsessed with you for years. Ever since I started school with you, he was obsessed with you," Draco said.
"He was obsessed with killing me!" Harry exclaimed.
Draco shrugged. "That's not necessarily true," he said. "When we got older, my father often wanted information about you that was of no interest to the Dark Lord – and after ole Voldemort died, he still asked about you. He usually does whenever I come by the Manor, even now."
Harry looked disbelievingly at Draco. "So you're saying—"
"I'm not saying anything," Draco shrugged. "You can't possibly think that I would help you to become my step parent?"
He grinned and Harry knew that there was more to come.
"I must say that went better than expected."
"Better than expected?" Harry yelled at Draco. "He's unconscious on the floor! How is that better than expected?"
"I'd have thought he'd run out of here before fainting," Draco said easily. "Now calm down, all that yelling isn't good for the baby, I'm sure. I want my sibling to be healthy."
"This will be the weirdest family," Harry said.
"If you think that, you haven't seen the Malfoy family tree," Draco said and he shuddered at the thought. "That really isn't a pretty sight."
Harry didn't ask.
"I see my inheritance suddenly got a lot smaller," Draco said with a raised eyebrow at Harry's beaming smile.
"Draco," Harry said, rolling his eyes.
"Yes, yes," Draco said shaking his head, "I believe congratulations are in order."
Harry grinned at Draco and admired the large rock on his finger. "I can't believe he asked me to marry him!"
"All my worst nightmares are coming true," Draco muttered. "I will have you for a parent."
"You are awfully hung up on that," Harry said, unable to stop grinning.
"Trust me, if I was to marry your father, you would be hung up on that too," Draco said. "And that's not even as weird, 'cause your dad was younger than mine is!"
Harry would have liked to slap Draco lightly over the head for being silly, but as Draco was pacing a few feet away and Harry was sitting down on a rather soft sofa, he knew it would be futile to try. The baby had grown quite big lately and that whole thing of moving up and down was not as easy as it once had been.
"You should be happy that you're finally getting a sibling," Harry said.
"When I told you I wanted a sibling, it wasn't because I wanted you to go out and give me one," Draco said, chuckling, "though that obviously worked, too. Do you think you'll ever get your abs back?"
"Draco, that's really not what concerns me at the moment," Harry said.
Draco appeared thoughtful. "No, I'd think you'd be more worried about squeezing a baby the size of a water melon out between your legs."
"I'm glad your father is a bit more sensitive," said Harry, rolling his eyes.
"He's not more sensitive," Draco said. "He's scared to death. When I was born, he faked a Death Eater meeting so that he wouldn't have to be present. My father doesn't like blood."
Harry stared at Draco. "After working for Voldemort for years and years, your father doesn't like blood?"
Draco shook his head and shrugged. "He did what it took for him to stay in the inner ranks, so that he could spy for Dumbledore, but other than that, he stayed as far away from torture as possible."
"I don't think I know your father at all," Harry said faintly. "Why did I agree to marry him? I don't know him, perhaps we're not—"
"Harry, you better shut up now," Draco threatened, "because if you decide that you don't love him after everything I've done to get the two of you together, I will personally kill you very slowly."
Harry smiled sheepishly at him.
"Are you sure there isn't another one of these in there?" Draco asked, putting his head to the side to look at the baby.
"Yes, Draco, I'm quite sure," Harry said despairingly. "Why?"
"No reason," Draco said but then continued, "she just seems awfully tiny for making you look like a whale."
Harry gave him a tired version of the Look.
"It's a little bit cool, though," Draco said after a moment of silence. "I have a sister."
Harry smiled. "Yes, you do."
"And I have a second parent again," Draco said, sticking his tongue out at Harry.
"Does that mean I can command you to go to bed?" Harry asked.
"Well, had I been say twenty years younger then maybe, but as it is – no," Draco said. Then he smiled at Harry. "But I'll leave the two of you alone now. I'm sure father will be back any minute and he'll probably want the two of you to himself."
He bent down and placed a kiss on his new sister's head, then smiled at Harry and turned to leave.
Just as he was about to leave the room, Harry spoke. "Thanks Draco. For everything."
Draco looked over his shoulder. "You're welcome."