The Grim Adventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy
By Winter Knight
Chapter 1: Reap-ED
Note: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy nor "that Grim show"…Cartoon Network does and if I did then I'd know why no adults are seen on the Ed's show and why Mandy acts like this. This fanfic is separate from the "now on hiatus" story "King of Kings II : BATTLE ROYALE", also I do not know what year Ed, Edd, n Eddy takes place and it caused confusion because of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 joke but since Grim is from modern times, I'll have to say that the setting is 2006 (Ed must be really stinky by now)
This Fanfic answers the question "what if Grim never met Billy and Mandy. But Ed, Edd, and Eddy instead" well you will find out…with hilarious results
It was a (un)usual day in the Cul-de-sac on Peach Creek, no adult in sight, kids playing, Kankers doing something destructive, and the Eds Scamming for jawbreakers but then something very unusual and dark happens.
The Eds are having a "giant robot scam" where they have "giant robots" made out of cardboard boxes standing behind them and a sign that reads "Humungus (sic) Robots for too buks (sic)" next to them. Eddy was yelling out "Giant Robots here! Destroy cities, save the world from aliens from Uranus (giggles) look good while riding one! Only for 2 bucks…what? I charged 2 bucks instead of a quarter because look at them, they're huge and besides, giant robots don't grow on trees and… HEY ED! GET OUT OF THE DUNGAM 1000" and Ed cheerfully yells out "SPACE FIGHTER ED WILL SAVE EARTH FROM THE MARTIANS FROM URECTUM…FILMED IN ALIENVISION!" Eddy is also annoyed that Double D is not helping them because for starters he knows that the giant robot scam isn't gonna work and second Sara is extremely sick and Double D is trying to get her better because of Sympathy.
Double D is in Sara's room, making her Uzumaki brand Ramen and then Sara says sweetly and sickly "Double D, why are you trying to help me, after all I've done to you, my brother, and umm… Johnny 2x4, I don't even deserve this." Double D shows up in a biohazard suit and hands her the ramen telling her "it's because despite the way you act, you're still human and well… (blushes) I have a reputation to keep when it comes to being the favorite of the 3 Eds…and Johnny. Hey someone's at the door" and when Double d opens the door he sees Ed and Eddy, Eddy is annoyed because he's helping Sara and not them with their giant robot scam and Double D tells them "I told you a thousand times, your automatons are supposed to be made out of steel and able to transform, yours just stands there, unable to fight fictional aliens" only for Eddy to yell out "Yeah right sockhead, now get over here and help u…" and before Eddy can finish she hears Sara scream out of fear, something Ed has never heard before and then he dashes to her room saying "BABY SISTER! BIG BROTHER GONNA SAVE YOU FROM THE BOOGERMAN!" and when all 3 Eds show up they see green mist appear and a shadowy cloaked figure materialize from the mist, he was a skeleton dressed in a cloak and carried a scythe and before the skeleton speaks, Ed makes a huge smile and yells out "IT'S SKELETOR! HEY SKELETOR, SIGN MY LUCKY UNDERWEAR!" and then Ed pulls down his pants, revealing green boxers to the figure and says "they where white when I first got them" and then the rancid smell of Ed's underwear gets to the figure and then he faints.
44 minutes later, Double D checks his pulse and says "the strangest thing about it is that he doesn't even have a nose" and then Eddy says "perhaps Ed's odor is supernaturally stinky" and Ed says "and proud of it" and takes a whiff of his own rancid odor. The figure gets up in a creepy fashion and says "FOOLISH MORTALS, I AM THE GRIM REAPER AND… (Jamaican accent) good golly mon, when was the last time you showered?" and Ed responds "ever since Mystery Science Theater 3000 got cancelled!"(1999)
Grim puts on a gas mask and before he can speak Double d asks "why would the Grim Reaper speak with a Jamaican accent?" but then Grim shrugs and continues "Anyway…I AM THE GRIM REAPER AND I'M HERE TO TAKE THIS CHILD AWAY FOR SHE IS DYING OF A SERIOUS DISEASE THAT IS SO SERIOUS AND…AND…and..and…for goodness sakes mon, why isn't she in a hospital like most terminally ill people, do you kids even have parents?" but then Double D responds "Well in this world adults DO exist but only we can see them but the audience can't". Everyone just stares at Double D and then he tells Grim "You break the forth wall all the time in your show too!"
Grim gets confused by this but then clears things up "well I'm an adult on the count that I'm over a thousand years old..but I'm a supernatural creature..so am I allowed to be seen on this show?" the Eds look at their unwritten rule book about how their world work such as not setting it into any time era nor not letting any adults be seen and then Ed says "we allow it" and then before Grim continues his speak he gets bored and tells a short version of what he's about to say "the name's grim, Ed's sister is seriously sick…and she's good as mine". And then Eddy's face turns into a huge grin and drags her from her bed and tries to hand her to grim saying "normally I'd use this as a scam to charge you for a quarter but this time I'm giving her to you for nothing at all". Sara gets so furious at Eddy but being sick and all makes her incredibly weak, the other Eds look shocked at Eddy's morbid behavior and Double D yells out "of all the things you've ever done, this is the last straw" only for Eddy to respond "why are you standing up for her, despite her crush on you she still beats you up, not only that but she beats me up, ruins our scams, beats Ed up for fun, and so I say we give her to Grim because she had it coming, so what do ya say Lumpy?" and then Ed makes a sad face and says "don't give away baby sister like a chicken no one wanted…TAKE ME TO ETERNIA WITH YOU INSTEAD SKELETOR!" the Eds look very confused about what Ed just said.
Double D bravely goes up to Grim and says "I have a deal to make with you…if we beat you in a contest, we keep Sara" Ed interrupts and says "AND BE OUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER!" while Grim says "ok but if I win, Sara comes with me" and Ed interrupts again and says "OOH OOH TAKE ME WITH YOU TOO!" and finally Grim says "Fine, the deal's on, the contest shall be a scaring contest, whoever is disturbingly scarier than the movie "Se7en" , bloodcurdling terrifying than the acting of the spice girls in "Spice World", and more frightening than seeing Brittany Spears pregnant, is the winner, those who show me a page from the "Hino Horror" mangas is automatically disqualified. I will go first" and then Grim transforms into a demonic skeletal being with demonic wings and horns protruding from his head and flames appear behind him, Eddy looks terrified, Ed smiles largely at the sight, and Double D just stands there and smirks and says "I've seen something even more frightening than that". Grim then lets Eddy go next and then Eddy then smirks and says "you know what…I forfeit because a little brat like Sara deserves to be sent to the underworld… have a nice afterlife Sara!". Sara gets so furious at Eddy and she sweetly asks Ed "my dear big brother, can you please help me from this cruel fate?" then Ed happily says "okie dokie baby sister! Ok Skeletor, this master of the universe will use his ultimate weapon… FIST OF THE MONOBROW! SUPER SCARY FACE!" and then Ed makes a Kawaii anime face, everyone looked shocked and Grim just says "actually that's just disturbing rather than just plain scary…and now you, bearer of the sock hat, show me your terrifying, bloodcurdling, gutretching, Stephen King-ish, disturbing, evil, spooky, pants wettening, frightening, creepy scary face so I may laugh at it."
Double D makes a evil smile and says "cover Sara's eyes guys, this is about to be more disturbing than "Se7en." And so, Double D TAKES HIS HAT OFF!, Grim sees this and screams like a shrill little girl, and yells out "MY EYES, MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL EYES..oh wait I'm a skeleton, I have no eyes…BUT STILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ed is still covering Sara's eyes, Ed's looking towards it with eternal glee and Eddy's hiding under Sara's bed at the sight of Double D hatless, Grim just fall unconscious.
66 minutes later, Grim wakes up and thinks it's all a nightmare only for the real nightmare to begin…Double D puts the hat back on and says "we won Grim and a bet's a bet, we keep Sara…" and Ed dogpiles on Grim and yells out "AND YOU'RE OUR BESTEST FRIEND FOREVER!" and Grim yells out "No…No…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It is impossible, I cannot lost to a mere mortal…I never lose!"
Sara then suddenly recovers and hugs Ed and Double D tightly, saying "you guys do have the heart to save me, oh big brother, Double D, I swear I will always be nice to you guys from now on, now if you excuse me…" and then all of a sudden she drags a rather frightened Eddy who is hiding under the bed and says "ooh umm... hi Sara… I see you recovered well…HELP ME GUYS! THIS BRAT WILL…DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!
DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! Oh look, I found a quarter... um I mean DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!
Grim, Ed and Double D just stand there seeing Eddy get pummeled by Sara for trying to give her to Grim and then Grim says "you know I'd do him a favor and take him to the netherworld but…maybe not." Then Ed says "Hey Skeletor! let's go to my place for monster movies and all you can eat gravy!" and then Grim says "you know, you maybe not so bad after all but please stop calling me Skeletor! I'm Grim!" ...and then Ed says "OK CRYPT-KEEPER! Besides I read your comic books all the time" and then Grim says "I'm surrounded by idiots!"
Next time on the Grim adventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy: Grim is introduced to the kids of the Cul-De-Sac and the results are still hilarious, and what will the Eds do with the living embodiment of death? Find out next time but first we have "backwards talk with Ed"
Ed: hello everyone, it's cool having bone daddy here in the house but I wanna do something freaky and cool and now I want you to decode this secret message:
" SNEKCIHC EKIL I !yvarg eht naht reithgim si worbonom eht"
that's all the time I have left, right now, I'm having a Halloween party with Jack Skellington himself!
Grim: IT'S GRIM MON! GRIM!
Ed!emit txen uoy ees