Chapter 1: Denial

By: Katryn Parker


Author's Note: You guessed it; I've been sucked into the world of's eating me up...and I actually got an idea. This'll be rated M for language and rape, and there will most likely be no graphic lemons, but probably a few limes. I don't really know when I'll continue this, because I'm also working on a few other stories right now...but this is what I want to do at the moment. Hopefully I'll regain the will to finish my other stories soon. I seriously don't know if it'll even get updated in the next month, since I still need to finish, Home, eLove, and Separation & Reunion.

This chapter will mainly be flashbacks to explain what happened...I hope it's not too corny.

A couple points before you read...Sakura is 20 in this fic, making our beloved copy ninja 34. Also, thoughts and memories will be in italics.

So here it is: Devotion.


His hands.

Not so gentle as she would've liked.

Not gentle at all.

His lips.

Rough. Cracked. Corpse-like.

His tongue. Too long. Like a snake.

Sakura had just realized that she never should have gone looking for Uchiha Sasuke.

Because there no longer was an Uchiha Sasuke.


"Sakura...Sakura, wake up."

Her eyes fluttered open and the morning light filtered in, illuminating the room. What...a hospital?

"Sakura, you're awake!"

Naruto's voice...she quickly turned and saw the blonde next to her, a wide smile on his face. His blue eyes were lit up with excitement as Kakashi shushed him from the dark corner of the room. Sakura could barely see him.

"Where's Sasuke?" she asked. I can't remember...

Naruto visibly cowered, a look of intense regret on his face. Kakashi let out a long sigh. "He hurt you, Sakura," he said quietly. His voice was rough and low, betraying the anger that she was sure marred his features under that mask.

Her eyes widened considerably, her pretty mouth trembling. "No..." Sasuke... "That wasn't Sasuke! It couldn't have been...that wasn't Sasuke!"

"Sasuke gave his body to Orochimaru, Sakura," Kakashi said steadily. Naruto's head whipped around to face the older man.

"Sensei!" he said sharply, "Don't tell her –"

"No," Sakura said. Her face dropped to the covers as she watched herself pick at her nails. "I want to know...tell me everything."


Though she couldn't see it, Kakashi's face was filled with concern for the girl – Young woman... he corrected himself. She's a woman now...she can take care of herself...I should be able to tell her... "It was only a piece of Sasuke, Sakura," Kakashi continued. "Apparently Sasuke's chakra had become so strong after defeating Itachi that Orochimaru simply...joined with him, rather than completely took over." I'm going to regret this...she's not strong enough...

He was surprised to see her with her face set firmly, a grim expression transforming her pretty face. "If Sasuke hadn't still been a part of would probably be dead right now," Naruto said.

"So...Sasuke's still in there?" Sakura said. She had completely changed from the tangle of emotions she had been when she'd first been taken into the hospital, and Kakashi was beginning to respect her even more.

"Yeah," Naruto chimed in.

"But there's no way to get him back," Kakashi said

Naruto glared at the older man and Kakashi simply sent back an even gaze with his one obsidian eye. Sakura cleared her throat. "How long have I been here?"

"Two weeks."

"Is Sasuke..." she stopped, "Orochimaru. Is Orochimaru dead?"

Kakashi frowned. "Do you remember anything, Sakura?"

She squinted at her fingernails. "I was on a mission...nothing special. Typical B-class." She looked up. "He was there."

"Yes. He was looking for you, Sakura."

Naruto was still sitting next to the girl, but now he had his fists clenched. "That bastard..." he growled under his breath. Sakura took little notice of him.

"I went after him...I made up an excuse, because the team told me not to go. And he was waiting for me...he told me to come with him." Her lip was trembling again. "That's what you meant when you said he hurt me...he..."

"He raped me."

Kakashi's fists did the same as Naruto's, his fingernails nearly digging through his glove and into his skin. Naruto quickly shoved aside formalities and wrapped his arms around her. "It's OK, Sakura..." he said, moving to rock her back and forth. She gripped his arms tightly.

"It's not OK..." she sobbed out.

Meanwhile, Kakashi just stared at them. He could feel the chakra activate in his body as he remembered...

Sakura's scream echoed around the forest and the newest member of their team, Amarante, looked at them with fear in her purple eyes. "What was that?"


"Sakura," they both said at the same time. Kakashi could feel the anger coursing through him...what could've happened to her...she was told not to go after him, damn it...

He was already gone by the time they arrived, and Sakura's ravaged body lay in the middle of the clearing. Naruto was at her side immediately. "Sakura, who did this to you?"

"Sasuke..." she whispered through bruised and bloody lips.

"She's not too badly injured," Kakashi said after using what basic medic skills he had to determine if she was alright. "He must have put her in a trance with the Sharingan."

It was all too obvious what had happened now. Amarante had just left, and both of her male teammates had stayed with her for almost the entire time.

Sasuke could still be after her.


Sakura had known that going after Sasuke would mean trouble. The conflicting chakras in his body could only mean one thing...but she'd been stupid enough to think that she could bring him back from the darkness.

She'd always been so stupid.

She regretted all the times that she's supported him, and yet she still loved him, if not a little less. The dark-haired boy that had stolen her heart as a child still kept it in the palms of his hands, no matter how much he'd changed. She'd kept on looking for him through all of the years that he'd been with Orochimaru, learning what she could from any shinobi that spotted him on a mission.

When she'd found out that Sasuke had killed Itachi, she'd cried for the whole night, knowing that the next step would be to give his body to Orochimaru in payment. Because her parents were dead, an unlikely friend and mentor had stepped up to help her.

Kakashi, her sensei turned teammate, had held her through that rough time – awkwardly, yes, but he'd held her all the same. She'd fallen asleep in his arms, and she still didn't know why he had arrived at her house, or how he had known that she was hurting so badly.


He remembered when they'd first brought her back to Konoha, when she'd first been admitted into the hospital.

Tsunade looked at both of the girl's teammates with anger in her eyes, her hands clenching the desk in front of her. "How did this happen?"

"We told her not to go, Hokage!" Naruto yelped hastily. Kakashi glared at him, silencing him.

"She disobeyed our orders and followed Uchiha to the clearing that we found her...I believe that she was under the influence of the Sharingan and that's why she didn't call out sooner."

"You let her go off on her own!" the older woman nearly screeched. Naruto nearly crumpled up in his chair, but Kakashi just sat stoic, the same glare on his face that had been there since they'd found Sakura.

Kakashi looked from her to Naruto. "Naruto, if you would please leave and go watch over Sakura?" The boy quickly got up and walked out the door, eager to leave the room. "Hokage..." Kakashi continued. "You know that I trust and care for Sakura –"

"Obviously not enough," the busty woman cut him off, "You may trust her, but if you truly cared for her you would know that she would still do anything for the Uchiha boy, no matter what your orders are."

Kakashi's voice rose in anger. "I couldn't follow her if she said she was going to relieve herself-"

"Stop making excuses for yourself and shut the fuck up," Tsunade said, "You should have sent Amarante with her. You know that we put the girl with your team to be a comrade to Sakura."

He stayed silent, not wanted to anger the Hokage again.

"I trust that you'll take better care of her next time...she'll have to have someone with her at all times." Kakashi frowned at her. "The Uchiha boy must want something with her if he left her alive. You, Naruto, or Amarante will be living with her in turn as soon as she's released from our care, and I would suggest you sit here with her too." She glared at the silver-haired man. "She's sure to be having a hell of a lot of nightmares.


She did have nightmares. A million things ran in front of Kakashi's eyes as he thought about the many nights that she'd woken up crying for her parents or nearly beating the shit out of whoever was closest to the bed. He himself still had a couple bruises from her last outburst.

"Sakura...Sakura, you've got to snap out of it!"

"Sasuke...Sasuke...please, Sasuke, LET GO OF ME!" she said, clawing at Kakashi's hands, which were on her shoulders.

They were the only ones in the room that night, as Kakashi had finally gotten Naruto and Amarante to take a break. They both loved the pink-haired girl dearly, and it was tough for them to leave her in that condition.

"Sakura, it's Kakashi, wake up!"

An abrupt change of emotion phased through the girl's blank and clouded eyes, her mouth smiling slightly. "Sasuke...I can't believe you came for me...I love you..."

She'd leaned her head towards him and planted a passionate kiss on his cloth-covered lips.

The problem was, he found himself liking it...even though it really hadn't been for him, her kiss had sparked something in the sex-deprived jounin (didn't you ever wonder why he read those Icha Icha books?) that he hadn't felt in years. Of course, he felt that it was utterly wrong for him to have those feelings for Sakura – he was like her father, and he knew that she felt like his daughter – but at the same time, he couldn't help wanting more from the beautiful

Oh, shit...

This was really, really not good.


Author's Note: So pleeeease tell me what you think! I don't know how this is going to turn out...but it will probably be full of angst and fluff (YAY!)!

Now, one thing I don't want to hear is "ewwww that's disgusting" or "he's like her DAD, ewwwww". Unlike some people, I don't take flames. And if you are saying those things, you're crazy. Kakashi is pretty much the sexiest ninja EVER and I don't want to hear you being DISGUSTED by him...because I LOVE him.

Anyway, please REVIEW!