Chapters will be much longer
Summary: I didn't want this, but it isn't something I could prevent. College is approaching fast and all I can do is write about my regrets. As I finally feel the weight of these emotions, I realize there are no suitable words to explain to him, that, although I don't know what love is, I need my chance to find out.
Tell me if I should continue this, I needed to write something, anything, I needed to let my words "breathe again".
"Bang." He whispers, pointing his finger at the stars, "I'll shoot them all down till the sky is black."
I look at him; just a silly hanyou with big dreams sitting around with a silly city girl whose dreams consisted of foolish, impossible things, like dancing teapots and purple elephants, and a silver haired prince charming with golden eyes… "The grass is wet." I state, lying my head down.
"I like the view better this way."
"Then don't complain." He states, hoisting himself up, "Why'd you drag me out here, anyway?"
"Dunno… I guess I thought it would be a nice thing to do on the last day of summer…" I reply sheepishly. I had meant to… I needed a chance to tell him, to confess something that to him might prove impossible to understand. I look over at his confused expression, content in nonchalant naivety.
"To look at the stars? We should be out embracing our youth, Kagome! We should be at Miroku's party."
"Then go to Miroku's." I replied coolly, "I'll stay here by myself."
"Give me your keys, then."
"Call a cab."
"You're planning to leave me stranded on this hill, aren't you?" he squints, "Kagome, what do you have planned? Star-gazing isn't really you're thing."
'I was trying to create a moment, you fool', I think to myself, "We're going off to college tomorrow, I wanted to say goodbye to this place. I thought you would too." I lie.
"It's not goodbye, we'll be coming back."
"It won't be the same." I pause, "We can see everything from up here." I point to an old beat up brick building to his left, "That's the elementary school, and over there is the house's we grew up in, and right…"
"This is getting pretty sappy Kagome." He laughs, pulling at my hand and hoisting me up, "Come on, if we stay here any longer I'm afraid you'll start crying or something."
"Maybe you're right. Let's just… 'Embrace our youth' and go to Miroku's." I reply, defeated. He should know, standing up here on an uncharacteristically cool night, where, despite the murky city air, the sky is clear of everything but the stars, it seems impossible that he can't feel it too. This is something… something I couldn't help but accept something I didn't want, but it landed in my lap. I didn't want to feel anything, for anybody, especially my best friend.
My car grumbles to a stubborn start. We drive away from the hill and I leave behind my intentions, maybe I was wrong. Maybe after all the sleepless nights, we really are meant to be… just friends.