Loving her

SummaryGrissom loves Sara, but so does Catharine. Who will win her heart? Ok, Catharine will. But that doesn't mean there won't be a hell of a lot of drama along the way. SC, my 1st CSI fic.

A/N: Sara's point of view unless stated otherwise.

Disclaimer: CSI and its characters are property of some people who aren't me… -sigh- maybe someday though


Chapter 1-

"Sara, you have to choose. Now."

What? What did Gil say? 'I have to choose now?' Oh god, how did it come to this? I'm standing here in Grissom's office, Catharine by the door, her arms crossed protectively over her chest, looking more hurt than I've ever seen her before, and Gil is standing behind his desk. No trace of emotion in his expression or his voice. Would it kill the guy to show a little emotion every once in awhile? I mean, give a girl a break!

Me? Well, I'm standing between the two of them, looking back and forth, and biting my lip-hard…Is that blood I taste? Forget about that, what about the butterflies practicing their karate in my stomach?

"Sara," This time Catharine said it. The way she says my name makes it sound like it's the greatest word in the world.


Spit it out Sidle! Tell them who you choose! Tell them which one of them you really love!

"I-I…" No, we've covered that already. Sentences. Whole-coherent-sentences.

Whoa, wait. Before we do that let's back up for a minute. Back to when this whole mess got started. 2 months ago to the day.


2 months ago

Nick, Catharine, and I had just got back from a crime scene. Pretty messy. I'm not talking about gory messy, I mean, muddy. The three of us spent the better part of an hour sifting around in muck on our hands and knees trying to find a murder weapon that a suspect had hidden a few nights before after he killed his best friend for sleeping with his wife. The classics never get old. Now the murder weapon: a candlestick.

"Kind of reminds me of Clue. Ya know, the boardgame." I remember saying sarcastically.

"The angry husband, in the bedroom, with the candlestick." Catharine had added just as she picked up said weapon and held it up in a gloved hand.

"Thank god, I don't feel like playing anymore." Nick sighed in relief.

Anyway, we made it back to the lab. I had to bring the evidence over to Greg so by the time I made it over to the locker room Nick had just finished changing and was heading home. I was sitting on the bench taking off my boots when she walked in. Catharine Willows in all her glory.

"Hey, good work tonight." She nodded in my direction and stared to change, starting with her top.

"Yea…you too." I managed to say before I started to change myself. I was watching her from the corner of my eye. I think I nearly fell over when I saw what kind of bra she was wearing. Black lace. I'm not surprised though, I've seen her in everything from that little number to a pink one with flowers. I just think she looks hot is all.

Alright, so it's no secret I have a crush on the strawberry blond. Er, scratch that. It is. Just not to me. See, I've pretty much been crushing on Catharine since I first met her 6 years ago. I know we've never seen eye to eye on a lot of things, but like that's ever stopped me. I like to think all that tension between us is sexual. I may be wrong, but I'm allowed to dream, aren't I?

Before I can get caught up in another series of thoughts I notice Catharine standing right next to my locker, now fully dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. Damn, I was so lost in my own little world I didn't even get to see if she was wearing underwear or not.

She looked like she was about to ask me something. But before she does I notice a little smudge of dirt across her cheek.

"Uh, you got a little…" I make a wiping motion across my face which she mimics but doesn't completely get, so I offer to help. Because I'm polite, not because I want to touch her. Honest.

"Here, lemme get that."

I run my thumb over her cheek, getting the dirt the first time but not letting her know that. I'm enjoying the contact. Then the next thing I know her lips are crushed against mine and my back is hitting the locker, her hands roaming through my hair as I pull her by her waist, trying to get as close as possible. I feel her tongue enter my mouth so I start sucking on it.

Then, just as quickly as it begun, it was over. She was backing away, looking either disgusted or terrified. I can't tell which.

"I-I'm sorry Sara." She says looking at the floor before rushing out.

"Cath!" I call, but it doesn't work. I turn around, still slightly in a daze from the kiss and gather the rest of my things and run out hoping to catch the older woman in the parking lot.

She was gone by the time I made it outside so I climbed into my Denali and started my drive home. This trip was slower than the others. I kept replaying the kiss in my mind. Did she start it or did I? Gosh her lips were so soft. She's such a great kisser. I wonder if she's great at other stuff too.

"Watch it Sidle, you're going to run your car off the road with thoughts like that." I warn myself, focusing on the road for about a minute before I'm right back to thinking about her.


The next few days went by just like normal. Catharine didn't bring up the kiss once. Well, neither did I. I didn't want to hear her say it was a big mistake. Have you ever had someone tell you kissing you was a bad idea? It stings. I was starting to think that she had forgotten about it until I caught her alone in the break room one night. She looked up and I could tell that being alone with me made her uncomfortable.

"Hey," I greeted as I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat opposite of her at the table.

She gave me a small smile and looked down at her magazine. "Hey,"

"Cath, about the other night."

"Yea, I'm sorry about that. I don't know what came over me. Must have been the tension or something."

Hmm, I guess we've established who started it. Somewhat of a relief.

"I thought you were straight."

"I don't think that's really any of your business." She looked up at me finally. Her blue eyes on fire.

"Well I think it is seeing as how you kissed me." I shot back.

"You kissed back!"

Uh oh, she's got me there. Quick, say something!

"Yea…well…I was just--caught up in the moment!"

Wait, what was that look? She looked-no-she couldn't be, she looked hurt there for a minute.

"So you regret it then?"

I sigh. "Do you?"

"I asked you first."

"Alright." Best to just fess up now. Quick and painless. "No, I don't."

That exact second I feel something working it's way up my leg. Omigod, it's her foot! I wonder what she would've done if I had said 'yes'.

I'm pretty much on fire before I can get my mouth working again. It's amazing how much she's effecting me with such little effort. "Cath, wh-what…what are you…"

I don't get to finish my sentence because her foot reaches the inside of my thigh. A little moan escapes my throat. She's enjoying this just as much as I am. She's got one of the sexiest smiles I've ever seen plastered across her beautiful face.

"Shh," She whispers in a husky voice. "Don't talk Sar."

I gulp and try to get my breathing back to normal. My head is spinning. I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass out soon. I was just about to jump out of my seat and kiss her again when the door opens and in walks Grissom. I straighten up in my seat and Catharine winks at me before turning around to face our boss.


"Hey Gil." Catharine says for the both of us because she can tell I'm still out of breath.

"Shift's almost over. You two can leave early if you have everything done." He offers and practically sinks into the couch. I can tell he's exhausted.

We both nod.

"Thanks Gris." I finally manage. We both stand up and are about to leave when he speaks again.

"Uh, Sara, can I talk to you for a minute?"

I look over at Catharine who just gives me a little nod and walks out in the direction of the locker room. I bite my tongue and repress the urge to scream 'no freakin way! You can't talk to me!' and chase after the blond CSI.

I sit back down at the table where only a minute before I had been in pure bliss. "What about?"

He looked nervous. Really nervous.

"I was wondering. Um, I know this is against procedure. But, would you like to have din-I mean, breakfast with me?"

Uh oh.

"Like a date?"


Uh oh.

I look at the door and towards the lockers. Grissom seems to read my mind.

"Unless you and Catharine have plans."

Me and Catharine? Why would he say that? Did he know? What did he see?

"Um, I'd love to Gil, really. But…" He cuts me off.

"But you can't." He looks hurt. Oh, he took it the wrong way.

"Right." I start. "At least, not today. How about tomorrow?"

This seems to lighten his mood because he looks up and smiles at me. "Sure, that'd be great."

I nod. "Great, so, see ya tomorrow." With that said I calmly walk out and round the corner before sprinting like a mad person down the hall and into the locker room where I see what might just be the greatest thing I've ever laid eyes on; Catharine Willows, back leaned up against the locker, in nothing but a bra. Same one from last night actually.

I must have looked like a complete and total idiot because she said, in the sexiest voice I might add:

"Close you mouth Sar, something might fly in."

I shut my mouth and closed the distance between us. God, she looked so beautiful standing there. Her strawberry blond hair lying across her bare shoulders, a wicked smile on her lips. Those soft lips. She knows what she's doing to me. She saw it in the break room.

I put a hand over her flat stomach and feel the muscles tremble. Her head tilts back and I hear her groan. Apparently I have the same effect on her as she does on me. I push my lips against hers and immediately feel her tongue in my mouth.

Wow, this is much better than the other night. And that was pretty amazing.

Catherine's hands are already traveling under my shirt. Not to be shown up I start kissing her neck while one of my hands goes under her bra and starts massaging her breast.

"Sara," She moans. I love when she says my name. It makes it sound more special than it actually is. I respond to this by biting her neck a little bit and moving my second hand to her butt.

"Sara," She says again. I look up at her. Her face is already flushed, her lips swollen. Damn that's hot.

"My place?" She manages in between breaths. I kiss her one last time before I nod.

I'm going home with Catharine Willows! This is like some kind of dream. Some kind or wonderful, wonderful dream! Only, it's not.


Cliffhanger, evil I know. But if you guys want to know what happens next you gotta review.