Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, and I never will. It's a sad world we live in isn't it?
A/N: Flames will be looked at, sighed at, stared at and something will be done about it. I promise. is supposed to be in 'diary' form… but I spaced it out a bit, so it's easier for you to read… aw, just for you. Just to let you know... I apologize for any spelling mistakes and such.
Day 1 in Middle Earth
You know how some things that happen seem as you though imagine them?
Picture this. Me. Willow Robinson aged 19, somehow travlelling into Middle Earth, becoming an elf of all things, then meeting… her.
The freaking Mary-Sue.
When we woke up in Rivendell, as soon as she saw me, she was all 'I'm hot, you're not'.
Geez. You would think if you fell into a strange world, that you would stick to something or someone that looked familiar.
Yea right. So much for 'sticking to what you know', but nope not ONCE did she EVER be nice to me or at least TRY to be civil. At least she didn't really talk to me that much really.
Apart from giving me death-glares any time I spoke or was around her, it wasn't that bad.
Her 'death-glares' couldn't harm a baby mouse. So we got to have lessons with elves! It was so awesome! They could shoot off a mile away!
I can do archery really well now! I'm not too bad with knives either. But with the sword… I may as well just give an orc my sword and smile sweetly.
The funny thing is, that when I'm around the Mary-Sue, or just in the room with her, I seem to have this 'affect' so her 'charm'(what charm?) or 'powers'(powers of seduction) or whatever seem to be erm... 'nullified' with be in her 'presence'…
It's weird, because I walked in on her and some elf making out, and as soon as I entered the room, he acted as though he had a spell taken off him, and looked at her in disgust.
It was quite entertaining actually, watching him walk off like that. But the sad thing was that she seems to REALLY hate me now.
Who cares, I guess. She was off making out with at least one guy a day. I'm surprised that there were enough people here in Rivendell to keep her lust satisfied.
When I'm just watching her from the balcony in my room, she seems to be the most beautiful thing around the place, and everybody seems to be not as wonderful around her, especially since they all look at her in wonder, but when I'm there, she looks different.
She looks more inhumane. She's not really human though is she?
She has these big blue eyes and pouty red lips. Her hair is blonde (she's really got the trademarks of a blonde-no offence to blondes) and her boobs are as big as her head. I swear.
She's so skinny though. She looks almost anorexic. It looks unhealthy.
Compared to me, just your average girl with plain brown hair, green eyes, and well you get the picture.
I wasn't really special at home, and I'm not really that special now. I was just a stupid kid from the neighbourhood then, just a girl who's got lots of courage, little brain now.
Oh, and another thing. I really hate it how she prances about like she knows everything.
When we were learning 'useful skills' that Elrond said would help us in the future, she was forever shoving me and showing off.
It was sickening how she kept batting her eyes at Aragorn.
Luckily, he ignored it. I saw Arwen just outside the door. She was giving Mary-Sue the evils.
If looks could kill, Mary-Sue would be long dead. Oh well, one can wish.
Gandalf gave me this notebook. Not quite so sure why though. You know, I've never kept a diary before. Not for the long 19 years of my life.
I found a couple of pens in my pocket. As my mom said, 'You'll never know when you need a pen.'
Apparently, in 'elf years' I look about 3000 years old! That means I would've lost 2981 years of my life!
Wow. I'm amazed at how depressing that makes you feel.
Okay, depressed moment over. Pippin and Merry just tackled Boromir.
Oh yea, I forgot to mention that I'm part of the fellowship. Sort of.
Boromir didn't want us (Mary-Sue and I) to come being the male chauvinist he is. But thankfully, majority rules, the others didn't object to us coming.
Although, Elrond, Gandalf and Aragorn let us come on the condition that we didn't wring each other's neck.
I guess it didn't help that we were glaring daggers at each other.
The conversation went a bit like this:
Mary-Sue: im lyk, soooooooooooooo cumin wif u! itz lyk, bcuz im lyk, gona sav u all, cuz yall dy w/ut moi! (You can practically hear the grammar and spelling mistakes!)
Me: I'm coming too. You're not leaving without me!
Mary-Sue: lyk, wo askd U?(My ears!)
Me: There is no way I'm travelling with that bitch.
(A few elves gave me the 'look'… you know, that one where they think that you're a girl, so you can't use cuss words)
Mary-Sue: im n0t a bicth U r. im lyk, hot, and lyk, ur not, so lyk, bak of! SLUT! (I'm sorry, WHAT did she say? I think I'm going deaf from all the screeching sounds.)
Me:Who are you kidding?You slept with almost every freaking person in Rivendell!
(Insert an Elrond with a raised eyebrow here. His eyebrow was so high, it had almost disappeared.)
Mary-Sue: (sniffs) apart frm hEnDaLaCoN. i almst had him untl u hd2 cumn wlk in on uS, vRy roodlee, mite i ad. n thers lyk, no waay id slep wif a ddwaarf or ne old guyy.
(His eyebrow disappeared)
Then Elrond decided that he'd had enough of us having a cat-fight. Then Aragorn just had to let the Mary-Sue in the team.
Eurgh. She's flirting with Legolas right now.
Her giggling's starting to get on my nerves. It sounds like an idiotic preppy school-girl(no offence to preps). No wait. She IS an idiotic preppy school-girl.
It doesn't seem to be having any effect on him. He's just giving her weird looks that she's misinterpreting as looks of seduction.
It's probably because I'm here or something. Hehe. Maybe it's not such a bad thing being around her. No wait. It's a terrible, horrible, vile, repulsive,detestable, obscene, repugnant, nauseating, loathsome,distasteful, atrocious, frightful, horrifying, horrible, beastly, uhumane, alienated, wrong, stupid, idiotic, ghastly, grim, grisly, gruesome thing.
If there is a God. Just kill me now.
Although, knowing all the wars that are going to happen, I'll probably die.
Nah. The Mary-Sue will kill me first.
Okay then. I'll just wait...
Hang on, what's that? Oh SHIT.I just remembered, the Crebain from Dunland's going to'strike' soon... I'll go tell Legolas to look to theEast with his elf-eyes.Man, is Mary-Sue going to be pissed off with me now.
…I'll just pretend I didn't say 'bye' to a notebook.
Sooooo… How was that for the first chapter? I know it's kind of crappy at the moment, but it'll get better. It's just at the stage of 'improving'. Please review! I want to know how good or bad this was, to decide whether I'll delete it or not! I'll give… VIRTUAL ICE-CREAM to anyone who reviews! R&R peoples!
She who just wrote a chapter of fanfiction for once in her life.