Of Ballet and Bullets

Part 1 – I Love Trouble

A Full Metal Alchemist fanfiction, By Serenanna

Warnings and Disclaimers: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of the characters. I'm just borrowing them to play with. I'll return them later, promise. There is violence, adult content, and sexual situations in this story. So, if you're under 18, leave now before your virgin eyes are scarred forever, if you're over 18, enjoy!

Story Notes: Time frame for this fic doesn't matter as my knowledge of FMA is a bit scattered but obviously before the ending and Maes's death, and set during the anime series. Also, this is an Ed/Winry and Roy/Riza fic (Two for the price of one!). Being this is fanfiction, liberties were taken with the actions of the characters and certain parts of the fic are not canonal, I just don't know which ones. This fic hinges on a lot more plot compared to the last time out in Overhaul, A Betting Crowd, and Overhaul 2, (in that order) which I recommend reading before diving into this. This one has violent action scenes, suspense, humor, and mild angst in it, so the sex and romance may be few and far between. In summary, you're all getting what I call a real plot. No, really, I'm actually working on a real plot this time! Beta reading has been done by Darkilluser. (Thank you!) Read the above disclaimers again if you're still squeamish about reading this, blood splatter included, but I assure you, it'll be worth it in the end probably. Again, no pieces of automail, skirts, guns, tuxedoes, or ballet dancers were harmed in the production of this piece of . . . well . . .

"Damn it! Get back here!" Edward yelled as the guy he was pursuing ran down the corridor of the basement level of the warehouse ahead of him. Of course he didn't listen. No one ever listened during a raid, least of all the suspects. His ears were still ringing from the firefight in the room behind them, which made it hard to concentrate on the pursuit down the dark hallway. Why that bastard Mustang insisted the whole department show up for this was beyond him. He was supposed to be investigating the Philosopher's Stone, not chasing after some would-be smugglers. The guy rounded the corner, and Ed knew he couldn't keep up the chase for long as his automail leg clunked along. If he broke it again, Winry would kill him. Well, tie him up, torture him a little, and then give him death in a pleasurable package before knocking him senseless with a wrench. Getting hit over the head with another of her tools sounded appealing. That was too distracting to think about. He could almost feel the oil in his automail leg burning as much as his muscles in the other, "Damn it!"

"Tough break, short fry!"

A scowl sprung up on the alchemist's face. That was it. No more nice Ed.

The path twisted to another dark corridor with a split intersection further ahead, the guy outrunning him by, well, a lot. Yelling, he clapped his hands with a spark of growing blue light, and skidded to a halt. He touched the stone floor, the light building along with a rumble. A chunk of earth rose up before the suspect, forming an instant dead end. The punk was too close and going too fast to stop, colliding into the sheer surface with a smack before falling flat on his back. Moving slowly, and grinning impishly despite his panting, Ed walked up to the guy, brandishing the metal cuffs Hawkeye had given him when the operation started. The poor guy was too preoccupied groaning and cradling his bloody nose to notice till the metal was slapped onto his wrists. He only groaned louder. "What was I suppose to say? Oh, right!" Ed said cheerfully even if he was still catching his breath, "You're under arrest."

It was snowing in the dark of night, and it wasn't even mid winter yet as they stood outside the warehouse. Why did criminals always pick warehouses in the industrial side of towns for hideouts? It only made it more obvious. And why couldn't they have picked a different month or time of day for this? It was too cold and precipitating to boot, which made Roy as useful as doilies on an eight-hundred pound gorilla. There was a small army of blue uniforms milling around, all of them under Colonel Mustang's command as he stood by one of the military police wagons with a grim look on his face.

It wasn't just the weather that was getting to him. This night was far from a success. They weren't supposed to kill all the suspects in this raid, just the ones that resisted. But damned near all of them resisted, except for the one currently being dragged out by the grumbling FullMetal. For some reason, that alone almost brought a grin to Roy's face, despite the failure of this mission. If Ed was angry over something, it made him easier to deal with, despite what everyone else thought. Why else would he pick on him, except for maybe sheer sadistic glee? Well, that too, but the reason was that the runt was always too busy being pissed when being picked on to question his orders. Not to mention the kid was hilarious when he was set off. Sometimes Roy wondered if he called the brat short just to watch him throw a shit fit.

And his favorite verbal practice target was bringing along their prize of the night, the bright side in all this, a suspect. They had one suspect, alive. That could work out well. His eyes drifted over to Riza as she trailed behind the teenager, her usual weaponry exchanged for the rifle she had slung over her shoulder. That sight made his almost grin turn into a warm smile, proud of seeing his warrior woman in action. His. There was a deliciously possessive thrill whenever that word and Hawkeye's name came through his thoughts that sent a rush of blood to his head. She was his, and watching her handle the rifle made him damned proud of it. Hell. He was proud of all of them for coming out of it unscathed.

At least, he was proud till he heard Edward yelling at the suspect, "Who are you calling so short that you need a magnifying glass?!"

He was almost sure a metal fist was about to fly till Al ran up through the crowd to his brother, pulling him away, "Now, now, brother, you're just hearing things again."

Hawkeye tugged the suspect by the cuffs instead, her expression neutral as the guy called back to Ed, "Yeah, shorty, you're just hearing things!"

Al's grip on his brother tightened as Edward flew off the ground in rage, and Mustang groaned. Maybe he was wrong to let them tag along and be useful after all. Perhaps taking in the kids in general wasn't such a good idea either, looking back on it now. They were useful at times, but also a handful when no one was around to baby-sit them. He certainly wasn't cut out to be a damned babysitter. Then again, there weren't a lot of things he was cut out to be, most noticeably an un-jealous lover. The suspect was openly leering as Riza while she pulled him closer, not seeming to notice the stare at all. Roy noticed alright, and his fingers twitched to roast the punk. But that was a bit much for being in public, and it was snowing. He really hated snow. At least he could live with it, maybe, till the poor bastard spoke, "Hey, sweetie, why did they let a fine piece of ass like you in the military? To boost morale? Maybe you can polish my gun?"

His fingers twitched again. Snow or no snow, he was itching to make roasted asshole, but Hawkeye stopped walking before they were in range. Her mouth quirked into a disgusted sneer before slowly dissolving into a wicked grin, one she usually reserved for him. Then she actually leaned in towards the guy. What the hell was she doing? Before he could wonder, her knee connected swift and hard with the man's crotch, and a collective moan of pain went up from every male presence, including himself and the Elrics, who had stopped mid-quarrel. That was his girl . . . as long as she didn't do that to him. Despite how he was doubled over and clutching his balls, Riza hauled the would-be smuggler in front of Roy and moved behind him, Ed and Al trailing along. Havoc and Breda grabbed onto the guy before he could run, while Fuery hovered behind them, probably to help shove the guy into the wagon. Yet, there was a plan brewing behind Roy's dark eyes for this piece of work. Naw, after all this hassle to catch one guy, he didn't feel like being generous enough to hand a suspect over to Maes and Investigations quite yet.

"You're supposed to be formally interrogated later, but if you have a statement now . . ." Mustang started, his frown deepening. He probably would have continued if the brown-haired punk hadn't started chuckling. Roy's eyebrows arched upwards, not surprised at all but playing along anyway. Another bad habit of criminals, if they weren't angry at being caught, they turned into first class assholes when questioned. "I got a statement for you, alright," the guy muttered, "Why don't you ask the pretty to suck it out of me! Fucking military cocksuckers!"

Roy was seeing red again as a deep whistle went up from the men assembled around them, anticipating violence for that comment about the lady in their midst. He even heard Edward snicker. Now that took guts to say for someone slapped with handcuffs, he had to give him that. Riza stepped forward, cold fury in her brown eyes that hardened into contempt. "Sir, maybe it's time we just turned him over, he isn't worth it," the Lieutenant muttered with a roll of her eyes, "And if we don't, I'm going to fill him with so much lead he'll bleed silver, whether he's worth it or not."

He was about to answer her request when the guy was leering at her again, despite struggling in the grip of the two men, "What's the matter? Ain't I man enough for you? It looks like your superior ain't doing too good a job."

"You'll be half a man in one sec-," Riza started towards him before Roy pulled her back till she shrugged out of his hold. He was starting to see the wisdom in throwing this one back, as he had a hard time restraining himself from decking the ass. Why couldn't they have gotten a more cooperative coward for a suspect? Damn, and he just wanted one answer out of him too. He glowered, dark eyes drilling to the punk. "I just want to know one thing before I let these good men teach you a lesson in how to talk to a lady," Roy said as he eyed Havoc who nodded, catching his meaning, "Despite this shoddy operation on your gang's part, you got a hold of some very powerful weapons. Those cannons you were sending had transmutation circles on them, so an alchemist had to have scribed them on there. Who was your supplier?"

"Why the fuck should I tell you, asshole? I ain't telling you shit, so put me in the fucking wagon!"

The Colonel's frown deepened, "I'm giving you a chance before the information is forced from you."

Breda's grip on the struggling suspect tightened, growling slightly to intimidate the guy, but it seemed to have to opposite effect, as he was quite literally hoping mad, "Go to hell! You, the pretty, and the fucking shrimp who broke my damned nose!"

"Oh shit," Roy muttered as there was a clap followed by small flash of blue-white light. Edward broke through the crowd with Al grabbing him by the shoulders at the last minute. "Say that again to my face!" the teenager yelled, again trying to take flight despite his brother's hold.

He watched as the transmuted metal blade pointed dangerously in the air, annoyed by his carelessness, "Watch it, FullMetal, we need this one alive remember."

"But he can't talk about girls like that! Or me! Come on! Lemme at him!" Ed growled, bristling with anger.

"Brother, I don't think you're helping the Colonel by being like this . . ." Al said with enough concern that the older Elric stopped fighting in his grip, down to simmering anger instead of a full-boil. Roy had been trying to keep his anger in check too. He didn't need to be reminded of the insults slung at him or, more grievously, Riza. No, indeed, Edward wasn't helping. But the look on the suspect's face at the young alchemist outburst, especially at the blade he wore, made him start to think. If he could work the little guy up enough, the punk would spill his guts as soon as he unleashed Ed. It was the best shot he had, but he needed an approach. "Your brother's right, FullMetal, maybe you both should go home . . ." He said, trying not to look too smug as he said it.

"What?! After I had to run down this prick!? I'm not going back for the night! Not till I get a piece of him!" Ed yelled as he went flying again towards Mustang this time, still held down by Al.

"Brother . . ."

"Lemme go, Al!"

"That's enough, Edward, the Colonel said maybe you should go, he hasn't-," Riza tried to interpose before the suspect broke in again, laughing loudly. Ed wheeled towards him, practically crawling on top of his brother, "Shut up! I'll get to you after dealing with Colonel Bastard!"

The suspect stopped laugh as the blade waved in his face. The chuckles from the men and Roy himself at the outburst nearly drowned out Hawkeye's shout of, "Edward!"

"Oh come on! He always does this! Friggen glory hound!"

"Ok, FullMetal, you can stick around, if you can make him talk . . ." Roy said as the young alchemist stopped, staring at him in disbelief. Alphonse slowly put him down, and backed off into the crowd, as his brother was no longer in a berserker rage. A growing evil grin crept onto the teenager's face, one that was starting to match the look on Mustang's. He turned towards the guy as the rest of the crowd fell silent, including Riza, who stared at her superior with apprehension in her brown eyes. Roy was scheming again, this time using Edward. It was too obvious in his grin, and she started to worry because of it. The kid on the other hand didn't seem to mind that his anger was being used, "Oh, I think I can handle that . . ."

The suspect yelped, jumping out with a kick as Ed started forward. The short alchemist ducked slightly to avoid the foot, putting his head down. But just as he moved, a bang whirled through the air, followed by the distinct sound of torn flesh, and a spray of blood that caught Ed across the face. Their suspect was dead, shot through the chest. Havoc and Breda dropped the body at once, each with a horrified shout. "Everyone take cover!" Mustang yelled as pandemonium broke out.

There was a rush to duck behind the various vehicles, and the clicking of safeties on guns as another round of fire hit the ground and vehicles. Roy didn't wait for Riza to move on her own, dragging her down with him behind one of the cars. Similarly, Havoc sat between the two brothers, looking rather nervous as Alphonse's metal head stuck up over the top of their car. Fuery and Breda were behind the large wagon, shrugging at Roy as the bullets whizzed by the open doors. They were pinned all down. Hawkeye glared at him as he continued to keep his arms wrapped over her, "Sir, this isn't the time for this . . ."

Roy glared back at her, incredulous that she would think that of him in the middle of gunshots. And yet as there was another round of fire overhead, she actually yelped and started pulling him closer to her and the middle of the car. Roy didn't argue, and didn't even pout when she shoved him against the car door. She freed the rifle from her shoulder and crouched near the hood of the car after slipping a scope onto the gun. "There's two snipers up there, warehouse 23, the one on the right slightly. It's so dark, there could be more, actually there probably are more up there," Riza said hesitantly, looking at him for an order.

"Can you hit them?"

"No, my rifle isn't powerful enough, they must be using custom guns for this distance," she said before ducking down again as a hail of bullets rained down on the car's hood. Glass from the windshield shattered over them, and he pulled her back towards him on instinct, shielding her from the shards.

Damn, he couldn't freeze now, not with everyone depending on him.

"Boys! Think you can hit them that far away?!" Roy yelled over the noise, turning towards Edward and Al. The pair looked at him like he had three heads, despite the pleading in his eyes. "Are you nuts?! Hit them with what?! They're almost-!" Ed started before an idea struck him, "Al! Chalk!"

His brother fumbled within the inner pocket of his loincloth, pulling out a small white stick only to have it ripped from his gauntlets. There was furious scribbling on the pavement between the two of them as a circle was drawn. The two Elrics placed their hands on the circle, the lines turning blue-white as a loud rumbling grew over the sound of gunfire. Roy stuck his head up to watch as the ground jutted up in a line towards the warehouse, mounting in speed and height. A large pillar of earth ripped upwards through the building with a loud screech of metal. The gunfire stopped. Edward popped up from behind the car with a shout of triumph while everyone else started to hesitantly emerge. Roy turned towards Jean, frowning, "Get the kids out of here, enough excitement for one night."


"What?! Already!? We just saved your necks!" Ed shouted in Mustang's face as his victory was cut short.

"That's an order, FullMetal! I don't have time for this right now!" the Colonel shouted back, then turned towards Riza and the others, "All unnecessary personnel are to clear out right now! Hawkeye, Heymans, take one infiltration team each and head in there now!"

"But-!" Ed started to protest as Al grabbed his shoulder.

"Brother . . ."

"Damnit! This night can't get any worse!"

But as the ground rumbled under them again, it did. Roy was the first to feel it, a shift of heat in the air he'd felt before, and it was coming from behind them, "Everyone down now!"

There were shouts and the sounds of people ducking for cover again. He pulled Riza down with him again, practically throwing himself on her as a loud boom ripped through the night. From her view over Mustang's shoulder, she saw a flash of red and orange light so bright it made her close her eyes tightly. The heat and force of the explosion washed over them, causing a few of the men to shout when the booms continued in smaller blasts. Slowly it stopped, replaced with the crackling sound of fire as a few people dared to look. The warehouse they had raided just minutes ago was now a pile of burning rubble. "Was anyone in there . . .?" Roy asked softly in stunned disbelief as Hawkeye still clung to him, the same stunned expression on her face.

"N-no, sir, FullMetal and I were the last out . . ."

"Good . . . Havoc?"


"The kids?"

"Sir!" Jean shouted back as he grabbed Edward by the back of his red coat, hauling him towards the car they had previously been using for cover. He didn't fight as his golden eyes were wide with shock at the scene. Numb, he got into the car with Al right behind him. He was still watching the fire in the building as they drove away, muttering to no one but himself, "We were just in there . . ."

It was the middle of the night when they arrived at the military dormitories. Edward's stunned shock had been whittled down to an angry grumble as he walked down the hallway to their room with Al right behind him. They'd been quiet the whole ride back, Havoc included, as he was already on his third cigarette before leaving them. "I don't understand what the hell happened . . ." Ed said, his grumbling coming out in coherent words as he unlocked their door and walked it, "Smugglers, cannons, snipers, and bombs?"

"I don't know, brother, but . . . it was kind of scary, more so than our usual trouble."

"Yeah . . . guess we were kind of lucky, huh?" he asked as he started to move around the room before sitting down on one of the beds as he suddenly felt tired, "We could have been in there."

Al nodded, and sat down on his own bed, "I wonder what they were after . . ."

"They were probably trying to kill us, again," Ed muttered as he pulled off his boots, "When is someone not trying to kill us?"

He chucked the shoe across the room and flopped back, staring up at the dark ceiling. If it wasn't homunculus after them, it was other crazy alchemists who were also looking for the Stone too. But if it wasn't any of the groups after the Elric brothers, then he had no clue what so ever. Anyone could have wanted them dead, as the enemies they made surely outnumbered their friends. "Maybe whoever it was is just targeting the military," Al said softly as his brother snorted in laughter.

Maybe that was why Pinako didn't like it when they were recruited by Mustang. Ed frowned, the thought of the old Rockbell woman bringing up thoughts of her ward, his friend and lover. Winry. This was yet another thing he couldn't tell her about, as it would be bound to make her worry. And then he'd worry about her worrying about him. If he wanted to get any sleep tonight, she was the last thing he should have thought of. He groaned and kicked off his other boot, maybe a little too hard as he winced when it hit metal, "Sorry Al . . ."

"It's ok. Do you think everyone will be ok? We did kind of leave in a hurry . . ."

"Colonel Bastard is leading them, I'd be more concerned with them wrecking another warehouse than someone getting hurt," he said with a smirk, "Remind me again how much property damage has been done this month alone?"

There was another crash from behind the office door, followed by the continued shouting of the Colonel. It had been like that since he came in this morning late, very late, later than the rest of them, who were already terribly late. The shouting had started as soon as Hawkeye went in to see him, bearing a thick stack of reports and two incredibly strong cups of coffee. Havoc was on his fifth cigarette this morning, and frowning. He was worried. The same expressions were on Kain's and Heymans' faces. They all were worried. No one had gotten hurt last night, but their only lead over the alchemy-enhanced cannons was dead, their evidence was destroyed, two warehouses were wrecked, and they didn't know who had shot at them or why. Ishbal rebels again? Maybe one's from Lior?

None of them knew. The only thing that was certain was that this was bad, worse than their usual tight spot. Havoc looked over at Breda, who was glancing bleary-eyed at the paperwork in front of him and nursing his own cup of strong coffee. Whenever something went wrong, or they'd all been forced to lose sleep the night before, Riza always made the first pot of the day strong enough to strip paint. And today at least, he was grateful. There was another angry outburst from the office door, followed by the sound of something hitting wood then quiet. It was the kind of quiet that always fell over the office when the two of them were alone. He snorted in laughter, "They've been in there almost an hour, think they're fucking or fighting today?"

Fuery and Breda looked at each other, "Both."

Jean's frown deepened when there was another thump on wood from the Colonel's office, "You're probably right."

Riza bit her lip to keep from crying out but as soon as Roy kissed her, she screamed while the sound was silenced in his mouth. Why did they keep ending up like this after she told him no more sex in the office? She shouldn't have let their argument over the previous night get out of hand like this. Well, it wasn't really an argument, more like venting, as the Colonel had done all of the shouting and all the trashing of his office. But she shouldn't have let him kiss her when he'd stopped long enough to realize how dangerous last night was. Ever since they got together, it always seemed to end up like this when he kissed her after a failed operation. The kissing always led to more, and that more made Mustang calmer afterwards. They both had their ways of dealing with trouble, and she was growing to love and hate his way. Her way only involved guns, and his way always involved her. At least his desperation didn't make him any less of a considerate lover.

She was on her back on his desk, a position she'd learned in the few months they'd been together that he loved. Why didn't it surprise her that he fantasized about his desk and her? He must have dreamed about that more than seeing her in a skirt and heels again. Riza writhed under him, probably crumpling the papers she had delivered, but she was the only one who ever cared about them anyway. Her legs tightened over his naked waist as he plowed into her, harder and faster with each thrust. It was quick, and that pace made her thrash against him, the desperation taking over her as well. He was getting good at being quick; sweat drenching his forehead till his dark hair was plastered to his skin. Her hair was a mess, half falling out when he grabbed the long blond tresses to haul her up for another kiss. Roy held her close, both of them wrapped up in each other till they were a tangle of blue and black fabric, feverish skin, and frenzied movements.

Riza shuddered in his arms as the raw burn in her skin caved with release. She bit his neck to keep from screaming as she came, but Roy only gave a growl at the pain. He didn't slow down, couldn't slow down, as the need to consume her drove him onward even after she'd started to relax around him. His hands gripped her hips tightly in the final moments, pinning down her wiggling form as he thrust into her. Suddenly, as he felt the fire within his loins pour out in release, Mustang no longer wished they were in his office in a building full of busybodies so he could scream. Riza must have seen that in his tightly clenched face as she pulled his head down against her breasts. As he came inside her, he did scream, his body stiffening while his frustration and anger poured out in his muffled voice. Roy collapsed on top the Lieutenant, his subordinate, his girlfriend, his lover.

After a minute full of heavy breathing, he crawl off of her to flop down in his chair, holding his head in his hands, "That was . . . sorry . . ."

"Sorry?" Riza said as she blinked at him while slowly getting up, not bothering to fix her clothes quite yet, "I'd say that is about the only area where your performance isn't lagging."

She grinned at Roy, and a small smile made its way onto his face before falling into a deep frown, "What am I going to do? Last night was a disaster. No one got killed, thank God, but all our suspects died, all our evidence went up in smoke, we couldn't find those snipers, and our department has almost broken the record for the most property damage in a single night," he groaned again, then started to pull his clothes back into place, the agitation showing in his hands. "I have a meeting after lunch with Major General Mitchell to discuss last night, and the way it's looking, by the end of the day I'll have so much brass shoved up my ass I'll be spitting metals."

Riza couldn't help it any more as she giggled, pulling her underwear and pants back up, "The only thing routinely shoved up your ass is me and the latest stack of paper work you avoid, but you don't complain too much about that anymore."

Roy smirked, his fly still hanging open as he looked at her, "I thought I was supposed to be the pervert here . . ."

She blushed, and kicked his legs hard before turning back to her clothes, "You know, you could have avoided wasting an hour dilly-dallying with me if you'd actually read the report I filed over last night."

"But I love dallying with you," he whined, despite the handsome smile that spread across his face. Riza stopped at the sight of his dark eyes, big and full of mischief while looking into hers. He was doing it again, being charming and infuriating at the same time. She shoved her black shirt back into her pants, shaking her head when it didn't work, "Roy, fix your pants and read the damned report, then maybe you'll understand."

Grumbling, he did as she said, trying hard not to look disappointed when she finished getting dressed and went back to organizing his desk. When Roy tried to grab her again, she shoved a piece of paper in front of his face, forcing him to take it. He grumbled over it as he pulled it from her hands, and began reading. She turned to leave when his hand grabbed the back of her pants and belt, pulling her into his lap with a start, "Damnit it, Roy, we don't have-!"

"I'm reading," he muttered, completely ignoring her protest, and wrapped his arm over her waist as she squirmed. When she couldn't break free, Riza sighed and leaned away from him, waiting for him to finish reading so she could make her escape. A confused look marred Mustang's face, his eyebrows crunched together before they suddenly shot up. She smirked, as he must have gotten to the last line. "So . . ." he started slowly, "You think that based on the trajectory of that shot, the sniper meant to kill FullMetal?"

"It makes sense. The guy was shot in the chest, and in the scheme of our investigation, he meant nothing. I hate to say it, but even if you did interrogate him successfully last night, he wouldn't have known what we were looking for. Edward was the only one close to him at the time, and being that he's short and ducked before the shot went off . . ." she explained.

"The bullet meant for him hit our suspect, but who? Why? Admittedly, he'd got a talent for being an annoying pain in the ass, but . . . it doesn't make sense. I have more enemies than he does," Mustang said as he looked skeptical, "It doesn't explain the bomb either, or why there was more than one sniper, and why when they missed they shot at all of us instead of targeting Edward."

"That's what we need to investigate. Hughes's office was dealing with looking into the bomb. It may confirm my theory."

"That theory being that a group of assassins is after the pip-squeak?"

"Well, if the shoe fits . . . won't know for certain till they strike again."

Roy let her slide off of his lap as he sunk down in the chair, brooding. This wasn't good if she was right. He didn't like it when anyone in his unit was threatened. Even if he showed it only to her and no one else, he cared about the people serving under him. In a way, it made up for the family they all lacked, which was probably why they were all so loyal to him on top of believing in his ultimate goal. And now someone was out to kill one of them. Roy's frown deepened, "Where exactly is FullMetal this morning?"

" . . . Late . . ."

Now that wasn't good.

To Be Continued in Of Ballet and Bullets, Part 2, Ballistic.