AN - Shoot me if this is weird. I've been running on nothing but Panic! at the Disco for the past week. Ha - Fueled by Ramen ;)
"Fae…" Fiyero breathed in his lover's ear, not really meaning to say anything, but trying to wake her up. Elphaba only groaned and rolled over in to Fiyero's chest. Fiyero smiled and brushed a lock of her raven hair from her face. Elphaba's eyes popped open, foggy with eye crust in the corners.
"What?" she groaned, closing her eyes again. "Don't I deserve even the least bit of sleep?"
"Sure. Just not when I'm around," Fiyero replied, gently shaking her.
"Fine. I'm up. I'm up," she repeated, trying to convince herself more than Fiyero. She needed sleep. And a lot. "You should start sleeping elsewhere. You're too much of a distraction to me, Yero," she muttered.
Fiyero smirked. "Distraction, yes. But it's not unwelcome. Is it?"
"Whore," she replied, childishly sticking her tongue out at him.
Her lover pulled her closer and pressed his lips to hers. "Yes, but I'm your whore." Kissing her again, Elphaba felt a familiar tingle rush throughout her body. He was right: it wasn't unwelcome. She felt her body take over, her mind tossed away as she responded to Fiyero's passionate kisses.
He was gone now, and Elphaba felt relieved. She hadn't been lying: Fiyero was quite the distraction, even though Elphaba grinned fondly as she thought about him.
Walking to the pane glass window, Elphaba stared down at the paved streets and the people walking the streets at sunset. She stared at their smiles, and frowned; they were just like everyone else, riding in a carriage without windows, leaping from one fantasy to the next.
It all seemed perfect, but there were moments when she felt nothing at all. Same as always, now it was repeating itself all over again. Elphaba felt as if she couldn't grasp anything anymore. She felt herself slowly metamorphosing into an uglier form of her mother. At least, she remembered her mother going slightly insane before Shell's birth.
Elphaba laughed at the memory. She felt as if she had been the cause of her mother loosening her grip.
She sighed and sat down. The sky was slowly darkening, and Elphaba realized that she had wasted her time alone by thinking. She had tried to avoid thinking lately, it seemed to do more harm than good.
As if on a cruelly-placed cue, Fiyero sauntered through the door, his ochre cheeks rosy from the cold, a loving smile on his face. "Back," he said simply.
"I see. Fiyero…"
"You've been here for how long?"
Fiyero gave her an odd glance. "I don't know. Why, Fae?"
She shrugged, then said quietly, "Night after night, I tell myself that this all just a dream, that soon I'll wake up and you won't be here. Maybe it's best if you aren't."
"Best for who?" Fiyero demanded.
"Everyone. Night after night, I say that I'll just pack up and move on. Tomorrow. Now what's holding me back?" She could feel the wall she'd built up over the years start to crumble, all of her fears released into the chilly night air.
He saw her beginning to break down and took her into his arms. "I don't know," he whispered into her hair.
"I do," she said, putting her hands over Fiyero's. "I've been dying to say this to you, and I don't know what else to do. It was my ego telling me why I never thought I would say this to you."
"Say what?" Fiyero didn't like the way Elphaba was clinging to him. Trying to reassure her, he lightly ran his ochre fingertips over her lightly shivering body. "Fae…"
Elphaba pulled away from his grip and walked to the other side of the corn exchange. "Don't. I know what you're trying to do, Fiyero. It's not working. I can promise you that." But could she really? She was beginning to doubt her own judgment.
"Why do you always have to be so strong, Fae? Just break down once in a while….Let me in," he added quietly.
She turned away from him, standing, once again, in front of the foggy pane glass. A woman in a puffy harlequin dress walked by and Elphaba smirked. "Why are you even here, Fiyero? You should be down there, with them," she said, pointing towards the woman.
"I don't care. I'd rather be here with you. You know that."
"Give me a break."
"Never," said Fiyero, walking to Elphaba and wrapping his arms around her.
"No. Please," she said, trying to shrug off Fiyero's loving embrace. "We can't do this anymore, Fiyero." Her voice quavered but her eyes told a different story. She wanted this just as much as he did, and he knew it.
Their heavy breathing quickly fogged up the windows as they moved together.
"Don't you get it now?" she asked him later, her face still flushed from their love making. "Fornication," she spat. "Shotgun wedding? Hah…"
Fiyero covered her lips with hers. "Be quiet, Fae. You're always the one out to make everything seem bad. Enjoy life for once."
"How can I? Tears are coming and years are going…I only hope we learn something."
Fiyero couldn't help but frown. Elphaba's words, often so recklessly put together had an incredibly deep meaning. He only wished he could be on her level of intelligence, to be able to understand her. "I love you," he murmured in her ear. She didn't acknowledge him - she was already asleep.