Inuyasha's Fantasy (Part One)
(Okay, here's the deal: Inuyasha is asleep, dreaming of the year 2020! He dreams of his wife Kagome and their two adorable twin daughters, Renashu and Sinshida. They are about 13 years old. Oh boy!)
Quick summary of the attitudes of the twins:
Sinshida—The sour sibling; pessimistic; hates everybody. Has short black hair (Pic of her in my gallery) and hates her school uniform with a passion.
Renashu—The sweet sibling; optimistic; although easily prone to anger and known to go into her demon tantrums rather often; has long silver hair like her father and dog ears too. She's the daddy's girl. (Sorry, no pic of her yet.)
Sinshida: Damn it! I can't open the damn milk! Die milk! Die!
Kagome: Sinshida! Watch your language! I mean it!
Sinshida: So? Dad says it all the time—and I do mean all the time—so why can't I?
Kagome: You know why! It's not nice, and your dad shouldn't say it either! Now don't let me catch you saying that again!
Sinshida: Fine! Here, you open the da… arn milk.
Kagome: Ooh! Inuyasha, get in here! Now!
Inuyasha: (Falling down the stairs) Ow, ow, ooh, eee, ouch, ouch… ow! What damn it! You made me fall down the stairs!
Kagome: That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about! That D word has to stop! You're a bad influence for the kids!
Inuyasha: Sinshida! (Gives her an angry look)
Sinshida: What? I got mad. Isn't that what you say when you get mad?
Kagome: That's enough! No more of that word!
Renashu: Enough of what word mom?
Kagome: That D word your father uses all the time.
Renashu: You mean damn?
Kagome: Yes! That word! Don't say it! Now, you two get ready for school!
Sinshida: (Low-voice) Damn it, I hate school.
Kagome: What was that young lady?
Renashu: (Cheery) She said da—
(Sinshida covers Renashu's mouth violently.)
Sinshida: Umm, gotta go to school, which I love very much. Bye!
(The two of them leave the kitchen, and Inuyasha starts to walk out.)
Kagome: Hold it potty mouth! I'm not done with you yet!
Inuyasha: (Nervously) Hee hee…
(Sinshida and Renashu ride to school on their hover boards. Futuristic in a way huh?)
Sinshida: (Wiping her tongue with her hand) Eww, I'll never lie like that again! Eww! Bleh!
Renashu: (Cheery as always) Oh don't worry. We are going to have a great day of school.
Sinshida: (Glare) You don't get out much do you stugit?
Renashu: (Red eyes) I am not a stugit! (Eyes return to normal) Now here, have a galactic pep tart. It's guaranteed to put some pep in your step.
Sinshida: That's just it. You've OD'd on pep tarts haven't you? They have no effect on me.
Renashu: Take one anyway.
Renashu: Take it.
Renashu: (Red eyes) Take it!
Sinshida: Fine! (Snatches pep tart)
Renashu: There ya go. Now maybe you won't be so crabby like Warden Happycrap.
(Mr. Happycrap is the "warden", or Principal, of their school, FOOEY—which stands for Futuristic Over-ruling and Over-controlling for Educating Youth—school.)
Renashu: Ya feeling peppy yet?
Sinshida: No. Just tart.
(At home at Inuyasha and Kagome's, the doorbell rings.)
Inuyasha: I'll get it!
(Inuyasha answers the door by the press of a button.)
Inuyasha: Oh hey Miroku! Where's your wife, Sango?
(R U surprised they're married?)
Miroku: Oh, she took the ohm cycle to the food station.
Inuyasha: So, how's life?
Miroku: Oh, you know. Umm, having ten kids to raise is a bit difficult, but at least our Maid-Bots help with the cleaning.
Inuyasha: Yeah. Now they just need to invent one that can discipline and manipulate children. Maid-Bot 7-2-9, bring me a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips. And make it snappy!
Maid-Bot 7-2-9: Yes, Master Inuyasha.
(Its batteries begin to run down as it brings him the chips.)
Maid-Bot 7-2-9: Here you g-go, m-m-m-m…
(Inuyasha hits the robot's head.)
Maid-Bot 7-2-9: Master-err-err-rrrrrrrrr…
(The maid bot continues stuck with its head spinning while shoving chips into Inuyasha's mouth.)
Inuyasha: Ow! Mmm! Mmm! (Angry with his mouth full) Ouch! Hey!
Miroku: Aaahh! It's possessed!
Inuyasha: (Swallows chips) No, its batteries are low. Stop, you worthless scrap of junk!
(He hits the robot's head again.)
Maid-Bot 7-2-9: (Dying down) errrrrrrr… (Crashes into the floor)
Miroku: Umm, you need to fix that.
Inuyasha: No, ya think!
(At FOOEY School…)
Renashu: (Cheery) Hello handprint activated locker!
(Renashu and Sinshida place their hands in their locker sensors.)
Sinshida: You are such a stugit.
Renashu: No, I'm a prinutie!
Sinshida: What the hell is a prinutie?
Renashu: It's "princess" and "cutie" combined! Hee hee…
Sinshida: And you wonder why I call you a stugit, which is "stupid idgit," all in one word.
Renashu: Umm, Sinshida… You didn't press the…
(The locker sensor squeezes Sinshida's hand.)
Renashu: … release… button.
(Sinshida threatens the locker, and Warden Happycrap happens to see it, and he thinks that she is threatening her sister by the looks of things.)
Sinshida: Let go of me, you damn contraption!
(Mr. Happycrap slams the locker door closed, accidentally pressing the release button.)
Sinshida: Finally! Oh, umm… hi.
Warden: Were you threatening your sister?
Sinshida: No, I was threatening my da… arn locker. (Nervous giggle)
Warden: That's it young lady! I'm calling your parents and sending you home! I've had enough of your behavior this week!
(In the Warden's domain, or office, the Warden calls Inuyasha's number on the videophone. Kagome answers it with green mask on her face and a towel on her head.)
Warden: Aaahh! Are you a good demon or an evil one!
Kagome; What! I'm not a demon!
Warden: Oh, are you Sinshida and Renashu's mother?
Kagome: Yes I am! Why!
Warden: My apologies madam.
Inuyasha: Umm, Kagome, maybe I should take this call.
Kagome: (Aggravated) Okay, that's fine with me.
Inuyasha: (Unenthusiastically) Who are you?
Warden: I am Sinshida's warden and…
Inuyasha: Oh yeah. You're Mr. Happysap.
Warden: It's Happycrap.
Inuyasha: Whatever. Same diff. What do you want?
(The Warden explains the situation to him, also telling him of Sinshida's bad grades.)
Inuyasha: Oh well… Send her home. I'll deal with her.
Warden: Sir, you must sentence her with a fair enough punishment, or I'll have to be her executioner myself!
Inuyasha: Eh, I'll force her to make a friend. Goodbye Mr. Slappyscraps. (Hangs up)
Warden: It's Happysap… I mean craps… Crap… Happycrap!
(Sinshida looks at him in confusion.)
Warden: Don't you say a word.
(So, Sinshida is sent home.)
Inuyasha: Sinshida, didn't a word I said this morning click in your head!
Sinshida: Yeah, da—
Inuyasha: No! Don't say it! By the way, Mr. Happycrap is not happy with your crappy work! Hey, I got his name right. (Giggles)
Kagome: Inuyasha, this is serious!
Inuyasha: (Laughing hysterically) Yeah-ha-ha-haaaa!
Inuyasha: Hahaha… the happy, crappy… haha… warden… hahahaaaa… of FOOEY School! Ha-ha-haaaaaaa! He didn't seem too happy! Haaaa ha ha haaaaa! Woo! Oh, my sides! Ahh ha ha haaaaaaaa!
Sinshida: Umm, mom… dad has flipped his lid.
(Kagome smacks Inuyasha, which stops him for a couple of seconds, but…)
Inuyasha: Ha-ha-hahahaaaaaa! Don't be a slappy happy crap! Ahhhhh ha ha haaaa! Woo hoo hoo hee hee… haa haaaaa ha… (Tears running down his cheeks)
Kagome: Sinshida, let's just leave your father alone for a moment while I decide your punishment.
(In the kitchen.)
Kagome: Now Sinshida. Wash the dishes.
Sinshida: Can I use my water blast!
Kagome: No! The old fashioned way! Last time you did a water blast, you flooded the entire sink over and soaked the kitchen floor!
Sinshida: And your point is…?
Kagome: Just do it. It's part of your punishment.
(Kagome leaves the kitchen.)
Sinshida: Hmm… Maybe I can get the robot maid thingy to do it. Hee hee hee…
(Turns the robot's switch on.)
Maid-Bot 7-2-9: Errrrrr… Inuya… ya ya ya… shaaaaaaaaaa… (Continues as its head spins off.)
Sinshida: Aaahh! An evil cyborg! It's gonna kill me! Mom! Help! Mom mom mom mom mooooom!
Kagome: (Turns switch off)
Maid-Bot 7-2-9: (Dying down) Inuyaaaaaaaa… shaaaaaa….
Sinshida: It was gonna kill me! It was possessed!
Kagome: No it wasn't. Its batteries ran down. Inuyasha went to the Cyber Shack to get more.
Sinshida: Oh… Okay.
Kagome: Now do your chores…! Regularly!
Sinshida: Okay, geez.
(Kagome once again leaves the kitchen.)
Sinshida: Gee whiz! I never get to have any fun.
(Sinshida is washing the dishes and singing:)
Sinshida: "Deck the halls with gasoline. Fa la la la la la la la la. Light it up and watch it gleam. Fa la la la la la la la la. Watch the school burn down in ashes. Fa la la la la la la la la. Aren't you glad you played with matches? Fa la la la la la la la la."
Inuyasha: I remember that song. I used to sing it too.
Sinshida: (Nervous) Oh daddy, umm… hi.
Inuyasha: So, is this your punishment?
Sinshida: Part of it! I am also grounded for a week, I have to sweep and mop the floors, I have to dust the furniture, and I have to scrub the bathtub and sink… in both bathrooms! I've been punished for my evil deeds.
Inuyasha: So, have you learned a lesson from all this?
Sinshida: Yeah. I'll never eat another stinkin' pep tart again. It gives me bad luck.
(Later that night, Inuyasha lies down in his bed.)
Inuyasha: Man, what a day. I could really use some rest.
(Kagome walks out of the bathroom with her hair up in rollers and the green mask still on her face.)
Kagome: Inuyasha, do you think I'm pretty? Inuyasha? Inuyasha?
(Outside his dream, Kagome is saying his name, and he partially wakes up.)
Inuyasha: Don't worry Kagome dear. You are beautiful, even with that hideous mask on.
So what did you think? Chapter 2 of Inuyasha's Fantasy is next!