Title: Solitude
Character: Lucas Scott
Fandom: One Tree Hill
Rating: PG-13
Summary/Note: This take place in season 1 after Brooke catches Lucas cheating with Peyton. This is all told from Lucas's POV. This is something I wrote for a Live journal Challenge.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill, not even the DVD's for season 1 and 2.

Winter on Saturn

I can't get the image of Brooke's face out of my head. The pain, the shock, the anger, and rage. I've never seen so many emotions before in someone's eyes. I really hurt her bad, I mean really bad. I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't even hear me out.

I understand why she's mad, what Peyton and I did was unspeakable. I mean we didn't have sex, but we might as well have. I had no business even kissing Peyton while still with Brooke. I should have been man enough to go to Brooke and tell her I had feelings for Peyton.

I've turned into Dan's son. I didn't even stop once to think about Brooke and how she would be hurt by my actions. All I knew was how I felt about Peyton. Ever since I met Peyton, I've wanted her, even when she was with Nathan. Nathan didn't deserve her then and he doesn't deserve my best friend Haley now.

Haley is going to kill me once she finds out what I did. She isn't crazy about Brooke or Peyton either for the matter, but she does care about me. She is going to lose a lot of respect for me when she finds out royally I messed up with Brooke.

I read somewhere that on Saturn a summer or winter can last for 20 years, I'm thinking it will take all of those 20 years to get Brooke to even talk to me again.

False Reflection

I stand here looking at my reflection in the mirror. When did I become someone I didn't recognize? I used to pride myself on being unlike Dan Scott. I had respect for people and things. Money never meant too much to me, probably because I never had any. I love basketball, but I wouldn't play because I knew Dan would fight me every step of the way. He loved Nathan more and I would just have to accept that.

However, more than ever, I'm starting to see the image I've built over the years, was a false reflection. As hard as I tried to fight it, tried running from it, I ran straight into being the monster I always hated. A few months ago, Dan caught me making out with Peyton just after she broke it off with Nathan. The words he said that day was, "Like father like son."

I told him that day that in order to be like him I would have to leave a child without a father.

Well I might not have left a child behind, but I sure did break a girl heart into a million pieces yesterday. The worst thing of all is that even though I was positive that I wanted to end things with Brooke to be with Peyton, now I'm not so sure. My heart is telling me that I just lost the woman of my dreams because of a stupid mistake.

Last Sanctuary

I need to talk to my mom. No matter what I've ever done in my life, I've always known that home was my last sanctuary. My mom has always been there for me when I needed her.

She will know exactly what I need to do to make this right. Maybe she can even help me figure out which woman I want. If it's Peyton, I need to make her see that we can be together despite Brooke. However, if it's Brooke, I need to make her see that Peyton is my past and she is my future.

I hear my mom downstairs it's now or never. I know she will be disappointed in my actions, but also know she will love me anyway. Wait, I can't tell her that I slept with Brooke and then went after Peyton. These are things you can't talk about with your mom. I'm not asking Keith, wait why not Keith?

Ok, this is silly; I'm heading downstairs.

"Mom we need to talk?"

"What do we need to talk about?"

"I did something real stupid."

"What did you do?"

"You know me and Brooke are dating, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, we kind of broke up yesterday."

"Why?"

"Cause she caught me kissing Peyton."

"Luke!"

"I know it was stupid, but I was going to break up with Brooke that day at school. See the night before me and Peyton were kind of making out and…"

"Don't want to hear this Luke, wait, are you sexually active? Wait, no, I do not want to know."

"Mom, I need you help! I need your help figuring out who to be with."

"OK, I have one question."

"Ok, what?"

"You've slept with Brooke haven't you?"

"Thought you said you didn't want to know?"

"I take that as a yes then. If you still want Peyton after sleeping with Brooke, then you don't love Brooke."

"How do you know?"

"Cause if your father had ever loved me, he wouldn't have slept with Deb."

"Don't compare me to Dan!"

"I'm not, but I'm going to prevent you from making the same mistake he did. Break it off with Brooke and be with the woman you love, Peyton."

"I've never slept with Peyton; I'm not going to make the same mistake that Dan did."

"You're right you never will you are nothing like Dan Scott. I've seen you with Brooke and I remember how you used to look at Peyton. You never look at Brooke like you did Peyton."

Lucas looked down at the floor; he knew his mom was right. He walked over and hugged his mom.

He headed for the door, "I'll try not to be late."


Lucas knocked on the door and waited for Peyton to open it.

"Luke."

"Hey Peyton, can we talk?"

"Sure, you want to come in?"

"I don't think so; I was hoping you would come out here."

"Okay."

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday at school. I didn't mean for Brooke to find out like that."

"Me either."

"But I still want to be with you."

"I still want to be with you too."

Lucas leans over and kisses Peyton. "I know it will be hard for us with Brooke," he said as he pulled away.

"Yes it will, but I've been through a lot worse things. I love you enough to fight for you."

"I love you to Peyton."