Somewhere, deep in the bowls of the Chicago Land Area, the sound of a shower could be heard. Also, I haven't gone over this, so there's probably a lot of mistakes. Deal with it.

"So, what's on the list today, Ira?" Maddie asked from behind the shower curtain. The bathroom had a wired layout, so one could sit on the toilette and not see the shower.

"Shower, check. Breakfast, track down Cillian Murphy, watch Spongebob, lunch, dear god, I don't even want to say that one out loud…"

"Is that the one with-"

"Yes, yes it is. Do nails, destroy niece, call Haley. You have no perception of time, do you? You woke up at 1:49. You have laser tag at six."

"Shut up, Ira."

"Oh, look, Resident Evil parody. I'm moving that one up to now."

"Fine, just hand me my bathrobe." Maddie's hand came out from behind the shower curtain and Ira handed her her bathrobe. "Just let me eat breakfast first."

"You already had breakfast."

"Did I? Well, I'm eating it again." About ten minuteslater, Maddie came back with a bowl of curry noodles, started playing Making Fiends on the internet, and began to write.


(continuing right where we left off, go read a few line from the last chapter if you forgot)

Maddie jumped off the platform and grabbed the key from they still twitching sharks. Back through soggy corridors and ladders, through a previously locked door, and finally back up the ladder.

"What now?"

"Well, as we are now in possession of the gallery key, my guess would be to go to the gallery."

"Like an art gallery?"

"I don't really think it has anything with displays, so why it's a gallery I really couldn't say." she said. Jill once again ignored Maddie's omnipotence. Once in the gallery, Maddie exclaimed, "oh, hey! It has red ropes around that central table. I've never noticed that before. What is it supposed to be displaying?"

"It looks like an old spinning wheel and various assorted jars."

"Why would they be displaying that? What a bunch of freaks." At this point in time, Jill decided to get stung by giant, mutant killer bees.

"Ow! I just got stung by giant, mutant, killer bees!"

"My god! Were these guys bored or what? How many things did they fuck with? What's next? Zombie chairs?"

"I think they should have used giraffes."

"Yeah, that would be WTF-tastic. But where would they keep it? It would have to be in the main hall or the Plant 42 room. Would a zombie giraffe only eat other giraffes, or would it eat people too?"

"I don't know. I've never met one." Then there occurred that record scratching sound again.

"For awhile there, you were being sort of cool, but you just ruined it."

"What did I do?"

"Never mind. Come on."

Dodging bees and going down a cleverly hidden in plain sight hallway, they came across a corpse with a contorted expression of pain on his face. He was also holding something.

"He's holding something." said Jill.

"Insecticide spray, hu? Now why would a guy with that be stung to death? Ironic, is it not?"

"Ow, I just got stung again! Can you hurry up?"

In the mean time, Maddie had decided something. She'd tell Jill what to do with the bug spray and go poke the hopefully still twitching shark. Monster bees can be dangerous, after all. And if one must risk a pawn, so be it.

"I'm going to tell you how to use the insecticide spray while I go take care of some business, okay?"

"I get to do something on my own?"

"Yes, yes you do."

After the explanation, the two parted ways temporally/permanently, Jill removed the map as instructed, followed by some bees flying out of the hole in the wall. Some attacked Jill, while a few more continued down the hall. After incinerating the bees (cheated grenade launcher, remember?) and then spraying them with something that killed them quick enough that it would most likely damage a human's lungs as well, Jill heard a sexy voice shout, "god damned bees! These idiots! If I had just stayed here none of this would have happened! But no, I wanted to leave the lab, get some social life, be in contact with normal people! A bunch of fuck ups, more like! Jesus, I hate my life."

"Captain Wesker!" Jill cried, enthused the he was alive. After all, a girl had to have some eye candy in the office, even if said candy was asexual.

Wesker looked up and thought for a moment about how to make Jill forget what he had just said. "Jill, forget everything you just heard!"

She saluted, "Sir, yes Sir!"

He let out a sigh of relief. Thank god for morons, he thought. But he still hated her. This, however, was no time for reflection on bad choices as there was the pressing matter of the unknown adolescent female asphyxiating Barry. Now, how to put that in layman's terms so Jill could understand that? "Jill, who is the girl that was choking Barry?"

"She says she's your helper."


Well, as I don't have anymore written, and I really do have to go to laser tag, I decided that I would just leave you with a cliff hanger. And now for your quote!

"Why are you wearing a retainer?"

"Because I like the feel of plastic on my teeth." (it was one of those clear plastic ones)

Maddie and Haley on retainers.