Pairing: Mark/Roger, Roger/Mimi, and Roger/Mark/Mimi
Warnings: Heed the rating, there be adult content ahead.
Disclaimer: Rent is not mine. I only own the DVD and it is all mine.

Author's Notes: Crack!fic. Oh, how I love it sometimes :).


It was a nightmare come true right before his eyes. Roger had finally engaged Mark in what he considered to be a pretty awesome lip lock and Mimi walked in. He broke away from Mark immediately, hoping Mimi had only noticed the kiss and not the hand Roger had snaked down Mark's open fly.

"Mimi, baby, I can ex—" he started, but Mimi just shook her head.

"Don't." She paused a moment. "That was hot. I mean…" She grinned. "Hot."

Hot. That he wasn't expecting. A glance at Mark told him Mark hadn't seen it coming, either.

"Hot?" Roger repeated. "You can't think it's hot."

"What do you mean I can't think it's hot?" Mimi looked truly upset. "That's a double standard! You think two women together is hot, so I am totally allowed to think that two men together is hot."

"Huh?" Roger's mouth hung open as he sputtered for words. "You…"

Mimi smiled seductively and stepped closer to him. Roger could feel the heat of her breath on his body. "Damn right I do. I'm so fucking horny right now."

"I think that's my cue to leave," Mark managed and out of the corner of his eye Roger could see him struggling with his zipper.

"No!" Roger and Mimi announced at the same time. It was Roger's turn to grin wickedly.

"I get him first," Roger declared.

"I'm getting wet just thinking about it," Mimi replied.

Holy shit. He had the best fucking girlfriend in the world. "Not breaking up then?"

"No way. You're mine. But Mark can be yours. And mine a little, too, since you can't have all the fun. He's all alone."


"Yep, all alone. He tastes like tea, you know. It's nice."

"Yum." Mimi licked her lips.

"Guys?" Mark's pleas were ignored.

"What are we waiting for?"

"Not sure," Roger answered. "We've got condoms, right? I mean since Mark's…"

"Of course, baby. I'm also not about to get knocked up either."

"Good," Roger said. "Who's the cowboy this time?"

"You are," Mimi said. "Mark's the reindeer since he's new."

"Um, guys…what do you mean by reindeer?"

Two sets of eyes turned to him. Oh yeah, Roger decided. He definitely had the best fucking girlfriend in the whole fucking free world. And after tonight, he was about to pick up the best boyfriend, too.

Mimi laughed. "Oh, you'll see. By the way, where's your camera?"

Life was good.

"My camera?"

Damn good.