I, Megan, being of sound body and of (sometimes) even sounder mind, do not own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They belong to the great Eastman and Laird, one of whom I hope to marry, so that I may own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as well. However, until then, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are not mine! Just to be safe, I also don't own graham crackers. The company, I mean, I actually have a box in my pantry right now...

I would just like to inform you that the log is indeed meant to be serious. As you read on, you will discover why (hopefully). If you don't discover why, ask, and you shall be informed. Please enjoy!


Be Fearless

Mission Log, Day One: My mission is clear. Find him, scare him, and get out. The risk? Many flips in the dojo. The worth? Best blackmail material ever! The reason, you ask me? I shall tell you. It has always bothered Raphael that Leonardo didn't have a fear. I can't blame the guy. I mean, we have been following Leonardo into battle nearly ever other day for a couple of years now! What if his unspoken fear screws us over one day? Therefore, a mere week before Raphael's eighteenth birthday, I have come up with the perfect gift. I am going to expose Leonardo for what he really is! A little scaredy baby turtle, hiding behind his fabulous muscles. All I require is some rope, a plastic snake, a balloon, and a needle, preferably sharp. For you see, I, the great General Hamato Michaelangelo, have come up with the perfect plan! First, I will-

Mikey stopped, was that knocking he had just heard on his door? No, no, it was more like a banging. That could only mean one thing...

"Mikey?" called Raph. "What are ya doin' in there? I can hear yer maniacal laughin' from the dojo fer cryin' out loud! Did you ferget ta take yer medicine again?"

Mikey froze in his seat and glanced around his room wildly.

"Raph!" he exclaimed. "Don't! Don't come in! I'm okay just, um, reading!"

"Readin'?" Raph replied. "If you're reading then I'm Bloody Mary."

Mikey left his logbook and cracked open the door.

"Ya know Raph," he stated coyly. "In this light…you can really see a resemblance between you and the old-"

"Stop while you still have a mouth to speak from, Mikey. Now you tell me what yer doin' in there before I have to invade you privacy!"

"Raph wait! Don't you have meditation to be doin' with Splinter? You and your temper. Surely you should go an' take care of that."

"Already did that today, Mike. You got till the coun' a three! One…"

"Well, okay. Um, you see, um. I was just…thinking!"

Raph paused. "Thinking?"

"Naturally."

"…You?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

As tempted as he was to tell his brother exactly why, Raph knew that telling Mikey why would involve a big explanation. A big explanation that would need big words that would need to be explained to the younger turtle. So, he decided to keep the ball rolling as best possible. Or at least, rolling the best at possible in his own favor.

"…And you were laughin' so hard cause ya hurt yerself in the process?"

"Yes. Wait, no! For your information," Mikey answered huffily "I was thinking about patrol last night. Those purple dragons are real good for a laugh when they're in pain, eh?"

"First of all Mike, you said that way to fast to be true. And two, Leo an' Don patrolled las' night, not us. You got two seconds before I break yer door."

"Raph, no! You can't come in because I'm naked! Have you no since of decency?

"Naked! We're always naked! Have you just know noticed that breeze between the knees? I'm warnin' you Mikey, open this friggin' door!"

"…how many seconds did you say I had left?"

"By now?"

"Yeah."

Raphael smirked as he backed away from the door. "None." he replied. With that, he began to charge.

'Think fast, think fast!' Mikey thought. If Raph charged in now, he would ruin his birthday present. Michaelangelo knew that he couldn't allow that to happen. Leo's birthday had been just two weeks before, and he hadn't saved enough money to buy Raph a respectable eighteenth birthday gift.. Either he went with the plan, or Raph was gonna have to live with macaroni art for his big 1-8.

"Raph wait!" Mikey screamed for a second time. "If you break that door, Donnie will have to fix it! And you've already broken the toaster today, so if you break something else, Don'll kill you dead!"

Raph skidded to a stop a mere inch before his brother's door. As annoying as Mikey was being at the moment, it was no comparison to an angry Donatello. According to Leo, the combination of a kick, a Sai, and "borrowed" spoonful of Don's own oatmeal had totaled the toaster. Even Raph knew that a totaled toaster equaled a trip to the junkyard. Normally, the trip would calm Don down because he was able to sort out his thoughts in peace. But not this trip. This trip Leo had gone as well due to increased Foot activity. Raph could practically feel his brainy bro's anger rising with each passing second.

Inside of his room, Mikey stood stock-still. Raph had been quiet for a while now, which wasn't always a good thing. Mikey began to panic as the silence continued.

'What if my last minute cop-out wasn't enough?' He thought.

"Hey Mikey." Raph called through the door.

Michaelangelo swallowed a whimper. "Yeah Raph?"

"You don't tell Don I almos' broke yer door, an' I won't tell nobody 'bout yer laughin'. Got it?"

Mikey let out a sigh a relief. "Oh yeah Raph, I got it."

As the red-banded turtle began to walk away, Michaelangelo began to giggle.

"Oh Raph," Mikey said to himself as he gasped for air. "I'm the one that broke the toaster, not you!" After several more minutes of rolling around on the floor, Mikey composed himself. It was past time for him to be serious.

"Well Sergeant Crackers." he said to his stuffed parrot, Graham. "What is Phase One of the operation?"

"General Hamato, sir!" Michaelangelo, excuse me, Captain Crackers replied. "Phase One of the operation is, sir, place plastic snake in several different and carefully selected positions, sir! Positions include but are not limited to, toilet, sink, refrigerator, cabinet, bed, under meditation mat, couch, book ca-"

"Okay, okay! Optional positions are understood Sergeant Crackers! Tell me, Sergeant!" Michaelangelo stated in true to form General fashion. "What location boasts maximum fear potential?"

"Maximum fear potential for first attempt is the bathroom, sir! The toilet, sir!"

"And why the toilet, Sergeant?"

"It is a fact, sir, that the target sir, also known as Leonardo, sir, regulates his bowels, sir!"

"He would." Mikey muttered.

Sergeant Crackers continued. "The target is due for a bathroom break as soon as he arrives home form the junkyard, General."

"Most excellent observation, Sergeant Crackers. Now, commence operation Scare-the-Poop-Out!" With that being said, Michaelangelo began to laugh like a mad man once more.

Downstairs, two poor souls in the T.V. room shared a worried glance with each other. Both Raphael and Splinter had heard bits of the "conversation", and they knew that Leonardo had a long week ahead of him.


This was only the beggining...muahahahaha! Not to be a bother or anything, but I would really like you to review. Really. But if you can't,it's okay. I'll just quess how you felt about it.