Disclaimer: Don't own House or Power Rangers. Alas.
Author's note: It would help, actually, if you knew what Power Rangers were before reading this and if you had seen an episode. But not really.
It was at least 8 o' clock in the morning. And something had woken House up. Which was, understandably, incredibly annoying. Since he wanted sleep. What had woken him up, exactly, he wasn't sure, but it was loud and coming from the room that held the TV, and he could deduce from that it was, most likely, the TV.
At this point, House did not care to know who was watching TV or what they were watching. He just wanted to yell at them for waking him up, damnit.
He sat up in bed, shifting his leg and then reaching for his cane nearby his bed to lean on as he stood up. Growling as he wobbled across the room, (he wasn't so coordinated when it was 8 AM and he was half asleep) House wondered how the hell anyone could get up this early. This was early for him. Ungodly hours of the morning...
House pushed the door open with the end of his cane and leaned on the doorway, staring. Specifically, staring at Wilson, sitting on his couch, watching TV with the volume on full blast (well, that's what it sounded like). Wilson had obviously just woken up, himself, and was still clad in pajamas, his hair messed up, which was contrary to the usual well-put-together Wilson. The show was brightly colored, and House saw flashes of neon colors and cheesy karate fighting as he asked, interestedly, "What the hell are you watching?"
Wilson jumped slightly, face flushing with a tinge of pink. He fumbled for the remote, which was on the other side of the couch, and pushed a random combo of numbers so now it was on a channel with some news man with a toupee droning on about the price of rice in China or something equally fascinating like that. "Um. Nothing. Sorry, did it wake you up?" He clicked the volume down a few notches.
House was skeptical. "No, what was that on earlier?"
"Nothing. I was just flipping through the channels and..." He shrugged. Wilson was a horrible liar when he was nervous. House raised an eyebrow at him, walked closer to the couch and the TV as Wilson was fixed too intently on what was on. Since he was that focused, he did not notice House lean over and snatch the remote from him. As he pushed the 'Previous Channel' button, Wilson protested, "I was watching that!"
There were few times House was ever surprised, but when the theme song for Power Rangers glowered at him from the TV, he was. Wilson tried to wrestle the remote back, but House had a firm grip on it.
"You were watching...Power Rangers. Power Rangers..." House said, disbelievingly.
Wilson's face was red. "No. No, I told you-"
"Yes, you did tell me, but you left the remote over there, so that obviously means you were planning to watch this." House pointed out, boastful.
Wilson hesitated before rolling his eyes and snatched the remote from House, sighing. "Fine. Yes, I was watching Power Rangers. And I still am, so shut up. The Blue Ranger's been kidnapped by the evil guys and the others have to go and save him but they also have to fight off an army of fish-monsters." He described, clicking up the volume as the Red Ranger declared that it was Morphin' time.
"Oh no!" House gasped. He had sat down on the couch during Wilson's explanation, now also watching the show. Teenagers in spandex-like costumes had super-karate powers and kicked evil-alien ass. So juvenile and childish…
But at the end of the episode, where one of the Rangers made a really stupid joke and everyone laughed, House had to admit, it was amusing and installed a childlike feeling in him. However, he wasn't going to admit that to Wilson.
Wilson yawned and flipped the volume down as he got up and meandered into the kitchen.
House called after him, "You need to get better taste in TV shows."
"You watch Spongebob Squarepants!" Wilson replied indignantly.
House paused before replying, somewhat defiantly, "It's a quality cartoon..."
Wilson psshaw-ed at him and in return House made a face at him. "Power Rangers...I can't believe you like that show." House stood up and slowly made his way into the kitchen where Wilson was cooking something that looked amazingly complicated to House at first glance, causing him to inquire, "What is that?" to which Wilson shot back with a raised eyebrow and a can't-you-tell look, "Scrambled eggs, House..."
"Power Rangers." House continued to scoff.
Wilson shrugged, trying to avoid the subject. House could tell and this only provoked him to talk about it more, but he was distracted by a brightly colored box of cereal that was on the counter and a quart of milk that could have possibly been past its expiration date. He fixed himself a bowl of cereal that might have been made of spray-painted chunks of cardboard for all he knew, and by the time he was done, Wilson had finished making and eating his eggs and was ready for work, which had House thoroughly amazed. It was only about 9 in the morning. It was not clear to him how anyone could do that.
House paused in eating his Cap'n Crunch cereal and blinked, facing Wilson.
"I'd be the Red one." House remarked, out of the blue.
"What?" Wilson had often tried to keep up with House's conversations that he seemed to pick up randomly, and had failed many times, so in the end he frequently gave up. 'What?' was just an automatic response now.
"Power Rangers. I'd be the Red one."
"Uh huh." Wilson nodded, barely listening as he double-Windsor-knotted his tie.
"Yes. And you'd be the Blue one. And Cameron, well, that's obvious..." At this point, Wilson had picked up his briefcase and walked out of the apartment, knowing that House would probably be going on with his rant for a while and that it was safer to get to work now then to listen and be late.
Chase was convinced he had lost it. All of them were convinced he'd lost it.
They were meeting in the annex room to House's office; himself, Foreman, and Cameron. And House, who had on a red baseball cap on backwards.
Of course, a lot of weird things House did were all pointing in that direction, but sometimes those weird things had explanations. This time, though...
"Rangers! Ranger Pink and Ranger Yellow, you go and get a full patient history. Green Ranger, you can go check out the patient's home." House ordered, and then added, in a deep, dramatic voice, "It's Morphin' time!" then proceeded to stand up and limp out of the room as if nothing happened. And, incidentally, before they could ask any questions.
They sat, staring.
Chase was the first to say something, "Well. I think...we should go get that history, Cameron."
Cameron turned to him and blinked. "How do you know he was referring to us?"
Chase's answer was a shrug and him saying quite rationally, "I'm guessing I'm yellow, you're pink, and Foreman's green, following House's way of thinking. I don't get it, though..."
Foreman was still baffled. "What did House mean by that?"
This was the time Wilson had entered the room, and, hearing Foreman's question, said, "Most of the time, I find it better to not question House's amusing but often Apocaliptic antics. What'd he do this time, and where is he?"
Cameron piped up with, "He was calling us, 'Rangers pink, green, and yellow'. Know what he means by that?"
There was a pause, and then recognition found its way across Wilson's face and he grinned.
"What?" Chase leaned forward.
"Ask him yourself."
House came back into his office, pulling out a blue hat similar to the red one he was wearing and put it on Wilson's head. "The whole team is here! Great. Now we can battle the evil that is commonly known as Cuddy together!"
Making a disgruntled face, Wilson pulled off the hat and ran a hand through his hair. House, barely even looking, grabbed the hat back and replaced it on Wilson. Frontward instead of backwards, like House. This time, Wilson made no effort to take it off, still looking somewhat disgruntled.
"Ahem. So. House. Why were you calling us 'Rangers'?" Chase asked, with Foreman nodding. Cameron was too busy looking like she wanted a hat from House, too.
"You haven't heard?" House put on a shocked face and cupped a hand around his mouth and whispered to Wilson, "They don't know! I can't believe it," in a loud whisper.
Wilson sighed, finally explaining it to them in a calm voice at the same time House almost screamed in a very House way, "Power Rangers."
The confused faces remained, inexplicably in House's view.
House glanced up at the TV. "Quick, Wilson, what time is it on?"
"House, I don't know the complete showing schedule of--"
"10 o'clock." He said quickly, checking his watch at the same time.
House turned to TV on to the correct channel. The theme song was just coming on.
Foreman, Chase, and Cameron gave their attention to the television screen, if not for pure curiosity then for understanding what their enigmatic boss was on about this time.
"Thought you didn't like this show." said Wilson to House quietly.
"Didn't, but then, how cool would it to be a Power Ranger? It's fun. Besides, look at their bikes..." House trailed off.
Onscreen, the Red Ranger and Blue Ranger jumped upon revving, souped up, giant, fluorescent motorcycles for apparently no obvious reason other then they looked cool. House whistled.
For the next half hour this went on, and at the end Foreman said in a slow voice, "That is 30 minutes of my life I will never get back, House."
Cameron frowned as she turned the TV off. "It's a kid's show."
"The Yellow Ranger is a girl, House!" Chase choked out.
Wilson snickered. "In most cases, but sometimes--"
"The Yellow Ranger has a skirt!" Chase continued, shocked and wearing his 'Chase-is-pissed-off-oh-no' look.
"And Chase has a skirt, so Chase is the Yellow Ranger!" House chirped as though this should make everything much clearer.
Chase, staring, seemed to realize he was fighting a losing battle and just sighed, putting his head in his hands.
"I'm the Red Ranger. Get it? 'cause he's the leader." House told them cheerfully, noticing that, yes, they seemed to get it.
"This is stupid." Foreman commented, frowning to match Cameron.
"You're not yellow!" Chase pointed out. Foreman considered this.
Then he smirked, saying, "Hey, yeah."
Wilson tilted his hat to one side, and Cameron, catching on because she is such a smart girl yes she is, said, "And Wilson is the Blue Ranger…!"
"By gosh, Cameron, you deserve a promotion. Or a Battlizer, at the least." House thumped his cane on the ground. They all stared at him, like 'what's a Battlizer?'. He wasn't in any mood to explain. He was in a mood to fight! Or, rather, chuck some annoying Power Ranger phrases at Cuddy because she wouldn't get it.
"House..." Foreman began, expecting House to glance over at him with an interest in what Foreman was going to say so he could mock him. But House didn't. Foreman pouted, then said, reluctantly, "Red Ranger..." earning House's attention, he continued, "How are you supposed to do fake karate moves and cheesy fighting with a bum leg and a cane?"
But House was prepared, "With a cane! Like this." He leaned forward and hit Foreman's leg with aforementioned cane, causing Foreman to hiss out a few cusses and clutch his leg. Chase laughed vengefully.
The door opened. Not by itself, as House, Wilson, and the others soon found out, because Cuddy entered and saw Foreman grabbing his leg, commented offhandedly, "Talking rationally to your team not working, House?"
She blinked, glancing suspiciously at the hats House and Wilson had on. "What's with the hats? I don't think it's up to code, guys." Which, in Cuddyisian, meant 'take off the hats'.
House, for not much of a change, acted aghast at Cuddy. "Rangers! We have an intruder! It's Morphin' time, Rangers!" At this point, House overenthusiastically made some weird motion that included waving his arms about a lot and speaking into his watch, yelling, "Red Ranger Power!"
Wilson followed suit with this same motion, rather bored-like it would seem, speaking instead of shouting, "Blue Ranger Power." but still very amused.
Cameron, not wanting to be left out, attempted to repeat this with "Pink Ranger Power!" but the only thing she succeeded with was the yelling bit.
Foreman closed his eyes momentarily, preparing himself it would seem, sighing and doing the same thing, only after his rather quiet, "Green Ranger Power," chant he added, "I better get a raise..."
Chase had a look of someone backed into a corner with no way out except to do a ridiculous arm-waving and shouting routine, so he did the arm-waving and shouting routine with not much of the shouting, more like whispering, "Yellow Ranger Power," ashamedly. All in all, in looked like they had some kind of seizure and a screaming fit.
Cuddy raised her eyebrows. "You guys need to get out more often. Tell you what. Go. Go on, have a long, very long break, get some fresh air, scare the hell out patients, or whatever it is you do. Before I send you to the psych ward." She said the last bit like a real threat before turning on her heel and click-clacking away in her clicky-clackyshoes.
They all made for the door with triumphant looks on their faces. Actually, it more was like House's, Wilson's, and Foreman's triumphant looks. Foreman, as much as he resented being a Power Ranger, liked having a break. Similarly, so did House and Wilson. House, however, rather liked the Power Ranger part and Wilson, well, he liked breaks and liked having fun with House so it all worked out. Cameron and Chase still looked a bit bewildered, Chase still very embarrassed.
Out in the hallway, Wilson and House started off for the cafeteria on House's prompting of 'food!', but Cuddy, at the other end of the hall, called back at House, "Don't think you're getting off clinic duty, House."
House's triumph was swept away. "Damn."
But he had the last word. "Curse you! But I'm still gonna wear the hat!" With that he shifted his hat to cover his eyes and yelled once more as final note, "Red Ranger Power!"
Chase, ahead of them in the hall, murmured under his breath, "Yellow Ranger…damn skirts…I don't even wear one…"
Foreman, nearby, replied, grinning, "But you own one?" Chase glared at him.
Cameron was sulking. "...want a hat."
AN: SpellCheck liked this. It didn't like my fragmented sentences and suggested I do something about them but I didn't. Take that, SpellCheck.