Author's Note: Just wanted to pop my head in for a sec just to thank everyone once again for reading and reviewing! I'm sorry that it's taking me so long to post new chapters, life keeps getting in the way of writing, lol. I'm also working on two other fics, that I want to finish before I start posting so that i know I'm really happy with the end result. Um, in this chapter I guess not a lot changed from the original version, except that it was majorly melodramatic and I had to cut a lot of that out and rewrite it. The first time around this fic read a lot like a soap opera which is really not my thing, and I guess that's my number one reason for rewriting it. Okay that was way longer than a second, but please don't forget to review! Oh, I wanted to mention that the song "The Blower's Daughter Pt. 2" by Damien Rice (he later rewrote it as "Elephant" but both versions kick ass) is doing wonders for me when rewriting this. Anyway, buh bye!
Chapter 8: Misleads, Misinterpretations, and Lies
The rain had only begun to seize the next morning. There had been thunder and lightning all night long and Katherine had lied awake for most of it but for different reasons. Even if it had been the calmest, sleepiest, coziest night of the year she could not turn her mind off until about three in the morning when sleep finally began to win her over. She had been restless with excitement, replaying the events of the night over and over, wanting to cling to that feeling of euphoria forever. Every time she closed her eyes she could feel herself once more wrapped up in his arms, she could feel him finally give in to her, and kiss her with unutterable need.
Katherine pulled her legs in closer to her as she stared out the window. She'd woken up earlier than usual that morning, a swarm of butterflies invading her stomach just as she opened her eyes and remembered that it had been very real. Thus she was ready for class hours ahead of time. She had been sitting on the couch by the window for about an hour anxiously waiting for her classes to start.
"Katherine, what are you doing up so early?"
Katherine turned to see Daphne and Tracy coming out of their dormitory. "Nothing; couldn't sleep."
"Well, see you at breakfast then," said Tracy as they exited the common room. Katherine turned her attention back towards the grounds outside the window; a vision of Sirius holding her close to him flashed her in her mind making her cheeks grow warm. How much longer until she could have that again? It seemed like forever until she'd see him again, which would hopefully be at breakfast, and even longer until his class, but how long would it be until they were both alone again?
"Where were you last night?"
Katherine turned this time to see Pansy standing behind her. "Oh good, you're ready. It's you I was waiting for."
"Answer my question," Pansy retorted.
Katherine frowned. "What's the matter with you?"
Pansy looked positively livid. Her usually pale face was quickly turning a bright red. "I went to look for Draco last night and he wasn't in his dormitory. What a coincidence that you happened to be missing too!"
Katherine suddenly began to understand what Pansy was trying to get at. A smile began to creep up on her lips as she realized how quickly Pansy was to jump to conclusions. "Are you saying Draco and I spent the night together?"
"So it is true!" Pansy exclaimed, all animosity on her face soon being replaced with shock. "I was right! I'd hoped I wasn't but I was right!"
Against her own will, Katherine began to laugh uncontrollably. How ridiculous could Pansy be? To assume that just because two people were gone missing that it automatically meant they left to be together.
"How dare you laugh to my face about it!" Pansy said her voice breaking.
Katherine held her side as she tried to regain her composure. "Oh, Pansy, you are so stupid!"
Pansy scowled. Katherine could see now that tears were beginning to swim in her eyes. "You're supposed to be my best friend, how could you do this to me?"
"Pansy, I wasn't with Draco last night I snuck into Sirius's room," Katherine finally explained.
"Am I really supposed to believe that?" Pansy asked a tear managing to escape from her eyes and running down her cheek. "Don't you say one word to me ever again Katherine Sullivan! I've had it with the two of you playing games behind my back! You better stay away from Draco once and for all or else!"
Pansy turned around and began to walk away but Katherine reached out and grabbed her by her wrist. "Pansy, wait!"
With a brisk movement Pansy shook off Katherine's hand off her wrist. "Do not touch me!"
She left the common room without saying another word. Katherine stood watching her completely perplexed and how ignorant and stubborn Pansy could be. Still, inside Katherine felt somewhat glad that Pansy had become upset over something so stupid and completely untrue. Why did she refuse to believe that she had managed to sneak into Sirius's room? Pansy had been a naysayer on the whole Sirius situation from day one, and would probably only be more upset to find out that Katherine had actually managed to seduce him. It was probably better not to talk to her for a few days and let her own screwed up imagination eat away at her little by little.
The frustration over the incident with Pansy began to slowly wear away as images of Sirius began to play upon her mind again. She smiled to her self as she picked up her book bag from the floor and began to make her way out of the common room. She could not become distressed now that everything seemed to be going her way. There was way too much to think about to be worried with Pansy's silly antics.
She made it up to the Entrance Hall feeling almost as if she had not walked the whole way up from the dungeons. She had been so far lost in her thoughts as she walked that she had not consciously realized how far she had actually traveled until a first year knocked into her as he ran into the Great Hall.
"Hey!" Katherine yelled but the first year paid no mind and continued to knock into more students.
Katherine adjusted her bag's strap on her shoulder and looked up at the Grand staircase. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Sirius two landings above, making his way downstairs. He too seemed slightly absentminded as he kept on walking, his eyes unfocused but turned towards the floor the whole time.
Katherine stood still, smiling and waiting for him to finally reach the spot where she stood. Would they talk now? Would there be enough time to sneak away somewhere and finish off what they had started last night?
Still making his way downstairs, he looked up and saw her standing there. He looked slightly taken aback as his pace slowed down. He came to a full stop and he averted his sight, obviously trying to find anything else to look at but her. He then turned and began to climb up the stairs again this time moving with urgency.
Katherine's face fell and she opened her mouth to say something and try to stop him but he was already out of her sight. She scowled and gripped the strap of her book bag tighter in her hand. So he was going to avoid her now? That was not what he had promised last night. He'd said they would talk things over. Why hadn't she expected this reaction from him? Yes, he would probably be apprehensive; but so was she and yet she wasn't the one running away to hide.
She stepped into the Great Hall feeling a mixture of disappointment and resentment towards Sirius. However, she knew he could run now but he couldn't avoid her forever. Sooner or later she would catch him, and then, if she decided there was time to spare, they would talk.
She arrived at the Slytherin table and took her regular seat next to Pansy. As she sat down Pansy rose with a "hmpf!" and moved several seats across the table and away from her. Katherine simply rolled her eyes as she picked up a slice of toast and began spreading raspberry jam over it.
"What's up her butt?" Draco asked taking the empty seat next to Katherine.
Katherine looked up briefly from her toast at Draco. "She thinks we were together last night."
"Why's that?" he asked.
Katherine saw Pansy watching them closely from across the table. She felt a smirk form across her face and she leaned in towards Draco and spoke softly in his ear, "Because we were both missing from our beds last night."
Draco reciprocated the action by moving his face so close to Katherine's ear she could feel his breath on her neck. "I see…and now you're trying to make her believe what she imagines is true…how absolutely despicable; I love the way you think, Katherine Sullivan."
Katherine giggled loudly enough for Pansy to hear and watched as she picked up her bag and stormed away from the Slytherin table. Katherine and Draco laughed out loud as soon as she was out of ear shot.
"So where were you last night?" Draco asked before taking a sip of his orange juice.
Katherine swallowed and looked up at him. "Just out for a stroll…"
"Yes. Why, where were you?"
"I'm Head Boy remember, I have duties like patrolling the halls," Draco replied looking away and helping himself to some bacon.
Katherine cocked an eyebrow. "At midnight?"
"If you're going to ask me to give you details then I expect the same from you; something tells me that's not where you want this conversation to go," said Draco.
"Good point," replied Katherine taking a bite of her toast; glad that Draco wasn't pushing her for answers. She wasn't sure he'd buy any of her lies.
"Pity we didn't bump into each other," Draco added. "I'm sure we could've had some fun."
Katherine smiled without meeting his eyes, for a second reminiscing about the night before. "Don't worry, I had fun."
This was, without a doubt, the longest day in Sirius's life. He'd woken up that morning, slightly relieved that Katherine catching him completely off guard and sneaking into his room had been just another dream. That sense of relief, of course, lasted only a couple of seconds until he realized that it had in fact been very real.
He'd been up most of the night trying to go over it in his head, trying to make some sense out of it. How could he let his seventeen year old student walk into his room and do as she pleased with him? How could he have given in to her so easily? Why hadn't he turned her away as he should've done? What was this paralyzing hold that Katherine had managed to keep over him?
He'd like to think it was some kind of Dark Magic that was surely not allowed at Hogwarts, maybe even a potion that had been slipped into his drink while he was unaware. Unfortunately, neither of those scenarios was true. Sirius knew it had been him the entire time. He let her walk in his room, he let her kiss him, and he let himself get carried away.
Going back to his work would've been pointless; he hadn't even attempted to. Once she'd walked out he lied on his bed staring up at the hangings, jumping at every sound he heard. He'd held his breath for about the first hour after she left, waiting for Katherine to get caught, and spill everything. He'd waited for Dumbledore or McGonagall to come knocking at his door and ask him to pack his things and leave, but not after having a long conversation with Katherine's parents who would be so enraged that they'd want to press charges and send him back to Azkaban.
How he eventually managed to fall asleep he'd never know, but it had been the most uncomfortable and restless sleep he'd experienced in a long time. He'd dreamt about Katherine and him getting caught all night. It was no surprise he woke up with a massive headache; the same one that let him know he had not dreamt of snogging with Katherine but that it had indeed happened and he should therefore continue to stress about it.
Sirius slowed down his pace as he walked down a corridor and peeked around one of the pillars beside the grand staircase. The halls seemed to be empty and therefore safe. Most students were supposed to be in class at that moment, so he wouldn't put it past Katherine to be waiting for him in some hidden corner. However, she was nowhere to be seen so he continued on his way.
Yes, he did feel a bit silly, checking around every corner to see if the coast was clear. He had not expected to see Katherine so early in the day and had definitely not been prepared to confront her. Not that he was any more ready now than he had been earlier, thus why he found he needed to check the area before going further.
He realized that he could not avoid her forever and that sooner or later she would sneak up on him again. Katherine had proven to be persistent beyond his imagination; there was no reason why she would suddenly give up, especially after the events of the previous night. But what would he say to her when he had her face to face again; the same things he'd already tried saying to her before? That plan had failed miserably and he doubted whether it was worth trying it again, especially now that she knew he was insanely attracted to her.
A mental vision of Katherine pressed up tightly against him flashed in his mind and he felt a sudden rush of blood throughout his body. He rubbed his brow as he arrived at the Entrance Hall and headed for the staff room.
The door opened before he could reach for the knob and there stood Professor McGonagall talking avidly with Professor Carwin.
"Professor Black!" exclaimed Professor McGonagall slightly alarmed to find Sirius standing behind the door. "What are you doing here?"
"I was just about to open the door," Sirius explained pointing to the doorknob.
"Oh," said Professor McGonagall, "well, it's good that I found you here; Professor Dumbledore has asked to see you urgently in his office."
Sirius's heart seemed to plummet to his stomach. "He wants to s-see me?"
"Yes, isn't that what I just said?" asked Professor McGonagall annoyed. Professor Carwin giggled behind her and Sirius was sorry he could do no more than glare at her.
"Would you happen to know what he wants to see me about?" Sirius asked turning his eyes back to McGonagall.
"I'm not entirely sure, but I'm guessing it's about last night," replied Professor McGonagall.
Sirius swallowed hard. "Last night?"
"Yes! Is it possible that you do not know as yet?" she asked.
Sirius could feel his face growing paler. "I'm not sure…"
"Of all people I thought you would know!"
Sirius stood transfixed staring at the woman standing in front of him. He was afraid to say anything else, but how would he know if she was really talking about Katherine and him?
"There was a muggle attack in London last night. Members from the Order believe it was Death Eaters. This was found by Kingsley at the scene," explained Professor Carwin finally allowing Sirius to breathe again. She handed him a small black leather book with a small gold inscription on the corner in symbols that Sirius did not recognize.
"I believe this is what Dumbledore wants to talk to us about. I'm headed to his office now, if you want to come along."
Sirius looked up from the book at Professor Carwin whose face still looked slightly amused. He would rather not make the uncomfortable trip with Professor Carwin who had appeared to him to be quite annoying on several occasions, but making the trip up with her would be better than making it alone. Alone, Katherine would be sure to approach him, while in Carwin's company she would be sure to stay away.
"Sure," said Sirius faking a smile and stepping aside so that she could lead the way. Now if he could just manage to find an escort until all his classes were over.
Sirius was startled when then bell rang at the end of his class with the seventh years. Then he realized that this was a very good thing. Students would soon be rushing out and Harry, Ron and Hermione would probably stick around for a few minutes. He might even be able to have them walk with him out of class. Then he could go to his room, lock himself up and try to forget this long and agonizing day.
He looked around briefly as the students picked up their bags and put their books away. Katherine was not looking at him but instead she was focused on putting her things away like everyone else. He wished he could read her mind and know what it was that she was planning next. He was almost certain that she would not back down that easily, but he was slightly surprised at how low key she'd kept herself throughout the class. There had been no furtive stares, other than her watching him while he tried to explain something to the class. No unspoken messages, no obvious body language, and no 'read between the lines' remarks. However, he wasn't sure if he should be relieved by this or worried.
He watched as Harry, Ron and Hermione headed for the door and he opened his mouth to say something, anything to make them stay just a few minutes longer but his mind was blank. He realized at that moment how pathetic he was being. Why was he so reluctant to talk to Katherine? Why couldn't he just buck up and say what he knew he should say to her? It wasn't difficult really, if you really thought about it. He had to stop running away and just talk to her. Straighten everything out; she might be hurt in the end but she was young she would surely get over it quick.
But talking to her wasn't the problem. If this was any other student there would be absolutely no problem. But this was Katherine and deep down Sirius knew he was terrified, not of talking to her, but being left alone to talk to her. The last few times they had been alone, he had almost lost his head. In fact the last time they had been left alone he had completely lost his head. What would happen now…now that he knew what her mouth tasted like? What would happen the next time she was standing dangerously close to him?
To his surprise, Katherine picked up her bag and left the classroom without even glancing back at him. No request to see him after class, no secret note to meet her somewhere, absolutely nothing. Was she planning on sneaking into his bedroom again? That would not be the best place to try and talk things over with her; it was difficult enough everywhere else, and the circumstances of a bedroom were not helpful in the least bit. But what if she was really giving up? What if she'd changed her mind; what if she finally realized the danger of it all? What if she was really moving on? And why did that thought make him feel slightly disappointed?
He stood up from his desk once the classroom had cleared out and began to pile his papers together on his desk. He picked up his briefcase up from the floor and began to stuff the papers he hoped to be grading later in it. Then the door swung open again and sure enough there was Katherine.
He froze as she watched her mutter an enchantment while pointing her wand to the lock. She'd done it. She'd tricked him into thinking she'd left, let him put his guard down and then sneaked back into the classroom. He should obviously never underestimate the inner workings of Katherine's mind. And where was his head in all of this? Why was a seventeen year old girl thinking straighter than she was?
"Katherine," he said once she'd turned and began making her way towards him.
"You didn't actually think you could go on avoiding me for long did you?" she asked. There was no smirk on her face, no playful glint in her eyes, only determination.
"I wasn't-" he began.
"I'm not stupid, you know," she said, cutting him off.
"I never said you were," he said, realizing how clammy his hands had become as he put his briefcase down on his desk.
She was now standing about a foot away from him looking him straight in the eyes. "You said we would talk. You promised."
Sirius opened his mouth to answer but Katherine grabbed him by his robes and pushing herself up on her tiptoes she kissed him.
It was amazing what a quick effect she had on him. Like a potion quickly traveling to every corner of a person's body after just having been drunk. First it was her presence, then it was her kiss, induced by her scent, followed by the warmth of her body, ending in a place somewhere in Sirius's head that he had not visited in a very long time, where everything became misty and cloudy and weightless.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and Sirius wanted to hold her and envelop her, kiss her until his lips were tired of kissing her but not his brain, and inhale every single bit of her there was to inhale.
But he couldn't and it was taking every bit of strength within him to stay in that classroom and pull her arms away from around his neck. He tried pulling away from her kiss but when he pulled back she jumped back in. Sirius almost felt the twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth as this game went on but it was that same twitch that pushed him to get a good grasp on the gravity of the matter and finally push her away.
"Katherine, hold on, stop," he said holding her at arms length and trying to regain his composure. "Let's talk."
"What's there to say?" Katherine asked rolling her eyes. "Are you going to tell me to stop imagining things again, and to leave you alone, blah, blah, blah…?"
"That obviously didn't work the first time, did it?" asked Sirius.
"No, and it's not going to ever," said Katherine turning her eyes away from him.
"Do you realize how serious this is, Katherine?" Sirius asked trying not to focus on a rogue strand of dark hair that had just fallen over her face. "I'm twice your age not forgetting the fact that I'm your teacher and you're my student!"
Katherine turned to him speaking in a sardonic tone, "Well, thanks for clueing me in."
Sirius decided to ignore her comment and continued. "If anyone finds out about what happened last night we would both be in huge trouble."
Katherine let out an exasperated sigh. "Sirius, I don't care!"
He felt his arms become covered in goosebumps at the sound of her addressing him by his first name. Once more, the extent to which her power over him reached amazed him. They had been quite intimate with each other this far (much more intimate than a student and teacher should get; if they should become intimate at all) and still something insignificant like hearing her speak his name had a reaction on him that he could not control.
He let go of her arms and said, "Katherine, you are a very beautiful…very attractive young lady…but this is wrong in so many ways…"
He realized now that letting go off her had probably not been a good idea. Katherine placed her hands on his chest and began to trace the line of the hem in his robes.
"Do you regret last night?" she asked her eyes following her fingers.
"Last night should never have happened," Sirius replied.
He saw a smirk play up on her lips as she said, "That doesn't mean you regret it."
"That's pretty much what it means, Katherine; it was wrong…" he insisted taking a hold of her hand on his chest and moving it away.
"You could just lie," she said, the smirk never leaving her lips, "You could just say you regret it even though you don't. Unless, of course, you're a bad liar…in which case something would give you away, and then you would be even deeper implicated since lying means you actually have something to hide."
He watched her intently for a few seconds. "Well, what do you want me to say? What could I possibly say to make you understand?"
She moved closer to him and said, "Look me in the eyes and tell me you regret last night, and that you don't wish for it to ever happen again."
He obliged as his eyes met hers, but he felt immediately that this was not a good move. He immediately felt exposed, almost as if she was reading his thoughts. This was exactly what she was trying to do and he knew it. She was trying to break him and get him to succumb to her once more like she'd done the night before. She knew that he could not look at her and not feel anything because being this close to her alone made him want to touch her, taste her, breathe her, hold her…
He inhaled deeply and blinked. "I do regret it."
Her hand slipped from his grasp and she touched his cheek bringing his face back towards hers. In a soft voice and with the smirk still on her face she said, "You're a bad liar."
She then inched closer to him once more and kissed him more tenderly than he had ever been kissed by a girl in his life. A kiss so soft, yet so strong that had there been any dormant nerves left within his body it would've awoken each and every one of them.
She pulled back and looked up to meet his eyes. He should do something. He should probably grab her by her ear and drag her out of the classroom, wag an angry finger at her and give her detention until she was his age. But even if he'd wanted to all he could do was stare back into her piercing blue eyes.
Without thinking it twice, Sirius cupped her face in his hands and kissed her with such ardor that Katherine herself had been stunned. However, recovering quickly, she slipped her arms inside his robes and wrapped them tightly around his abdomen. He couldn't hold back any more. Whatever it was that was taking over him was stronger than him and he just didn't want to fight it anymore.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd tasted lips as soft as hers, or a mouth as warm as hers. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd kissed someone this beautiful before, or the last time someone had kissed him back with the same desire as his. At that very moment he decided that nothing mattered. Here was the old Sirius Black, the one before Azkaban, the rule breaker, the rebel, old Padfoot with no sense of morality. He'd worry about consequences later. The here and now was all he wanted, and in the here and now he wanted Katherine more than he'd wanted anything in a really long time.