Tomorrow... we would go back and everything would be...

As It Was

(Axel's POV throughout, excluding Parts II - IV.)


I remember seeing you. You looked so beautiful that night as we stood in the light of the moon we dreamed to fill.
Kingdom Hearts.
It meant everything to us...
But I want to wash everything away.
I don't want to see you anymore.


An arched eyebrow, teasing. "What's wrong? Nervous?"
A scowl. "Why would I be-?"
"I am."
The scowl hardly faded. "Dumbass."

A syrupy chuckle, and the scowling boy sighed, defeated.
"Listen, Roxas... we don't have to- I mean, I'm perfectly fine with-"
"Axel," The boyish voice is quiet, but the attention he gets is faultless. "This isn't a matter of what I want anymore."
Green eyes narrow in the slightest bit and the redhead's mouth opens just to shut it once more, the boy before him shifting until he sat closer.
With those bright blue eyes downcast, the voice remained soft. "I'm tired of watching."
A dark red blush crawls across the bridge of the redhead's nose. The blush deepens the moment those innocent eyes look up, and the blond teen chuckles. "I want to be the one you call out."


Axel watched with every antagonizing second that passed.
Roxas' breathing was labored, his face hidden against the pillow, thin fingers twisted in the crumpled sheets.

"Roxas... are you...?"
"Go." The blond Nobody groaned out between gritted teeth, pushing his body back against the protruding appendage.
"Just relax, alright? This will be quick."
Inside, Axel accuses himself of allowing this to happen, watching as the head nods in rushed agreement.

He pushes in. It's quick, but definitely not painless. No one needs a heart to feel a stretching, tearing pain.
Inside, Axel cringes. It's the voiceless cry of pain that escapes Roxas' mouth, all of this kid's inexperience, and most of all... his own inability to say no.

Axel drives on until they both are completely spent, Roxas' head lashing backwards for the second time, body trembling, the pain all forgotten about. With the tremors pressing against his already sensitive nerves, Axel hoarsely calls out the name of his companion. Behind his eyelids, everything is white, and the redheaded Nobody can't remember the last time he had been as moved, watching as the young Nobody still held the strength to crawl onto the left side of the bed and keep his eyes open and alert.
He smiles before relaxing and falling asleep, and if Axel had a heart, it would be breaking.

The morning after, Axel leaves on a mission.
This won't be his only one.
Because he only knows how to run away.


And three weeks pass.

No one suspects any type of change, and everyone's lives go on.
It's on a particular day when Axel returns from another mission that he's finally confronted as he heads down the empty hall to his room.

The redhead feigns surprise to see the Nobody before him. "Yo."
The Nobody narrows his eyes. "What is going on with you?"
Axel stretches leisurely, brushing off the irritated Nobody nonchalantly, only to be thrown against a wall.
"You've been gone away on missions like clockwork and you haven't said a word to me! What is going on? It's someone else, isn't it?!"
A smirk crosses the redhead's face. "My, my, Marluxia, it seems you've gotten jealous?"
The pink-haired Nobody growled lethally from the back of his throat. "You have always come to me, and you will always come to me!!"
"Ohh," Axel murmured chidingly, the smirk growing wider, "so you're not jealous at all, you just liked feeling superior. Marluxia, how brash of you to jump to conclusions..."
Pushing back the stunned Nobody with ease, Axel's eyes narrowed into slits. "You'd better watch who you're talking to. If I remember correctly, I was the one superior to you, Number XI."

The cheery voice broke the suffocating hatred and both sets of green eyes directed towards the approaching blond who was waving happily.
"Hey, Roxas! You're back too?" Axel called out, returning the wave, a grin on his face. Marluxia watched with disgust, turning away as the boy continued to near.
"I see." Marluxia spat out venomously, pushing past Axel as he disappeared into the void.


No one else is around when you slip out of your quarters, nor do you bother to tell me. You probably expect me to be asleep. But here you are, walking past me, and you've noticed me, but you hide your surprise.
There's really no sense in trying to argue with you, but I try it anyway.
I know there's no turning back for you, you've been talking about this day more and more recently...
About him.

You're lying, and it's easy enough for me to tell, after all, you've always been a horrible liar.
You're lying because you know I'll miss you.
You're lying because we're best friends.
You're lying because you have enough of a heart to try not to hurt me.


You're gone.

My chest is tightening and I can't breathe, but it's ok.
The night is clear and fresh, yet I'm still thinking of you...
The stars blur until I can no longer see straight and there's something wet on my cheeks but it's not raining.
... Roxas.

Author's Commentary:

Ah, so this a pathetic attempt to prove that I am still alive. I told myself I would put at least something out by tonight. I'm quite disappointed that I couldn't elaborate more... and just how emotional Axel became. So unlike him. This short piece really came out of nowhere while I was listening to "503" the last track of the new Angels and Demons soundtrack. Enjoy. I haven't been around in a while to add anything new... but I'll try to push things out here soon.

Thank you all so much for reading!!