Yes - I know. I'm actually uploading something after such a long wait between stuffs. Ah well, thats the fun of life getting busy. I'll be removing some things and updating others... Enjoy the first teaser to 'Love not Often'.

Bhryn xxx

01: In My Heart

All I ever wanted was a friend.

They didn't have to understand me, nor did they have to know me well. They didn't have to share my hobbies or my fashion or even see the world through eyes like mine. They didn't have to be like me in any way or form. All they had to do was to love me for all my flaws and faults; love me for all the good and the bad, love me when love itself could hold a candle no longer.

So I wouldn't be lonely.

I wouldn't ask them to do anything strenuous, nor endure monstrous hardships to see me smile. I would ask nothing of them that would not want to give to me willingly, without a second thought or backwards glance nor toe to test the waters of a whirlpool of emotions. I wouldn't ask them to do chores or sit through boring things they did not enjoy, nor ask them to lie and never tell me any truths, only half truths. I'd only ask, that this friend of mine, they love me.

So I'd never be alone.

Instead we'd watch the sun and laugh at jokes and bend our heads together with whispers and giggles and talk about all the little things instead of worrying over the larger things. I'd bring the drinks and they'd bring the food and together we'd have that picnic on the horizon, or in a grove of trees. Others would come later but I and my friend would be the best of friends and we'd never separate. If distance came between us, I'd write them letters and sign them 'with love'. Always with love and then sealing, send it on the air or through the water, curled tightly in a bottle so it can wash ashore to my friend. And reading, a smile would be born on those lips meant for smiling, and I'd know.

So we'd be best friends, forever.

If the day should come one of us must leave then God of Gods, spirits and ghosts and all the things between Heaven and Hell, let it be me! Let it be me who passes first so I wouldn't have the heartache of missing my best friend…

…but then another voice cries out inside, perhaps my best friend might go first and then she would not suffer the heart hurt and loneliness without me. So Gods, perhaps be kind and if it should be, let her pass and I will soldier on with scars across my heart and the blanketed fire dying and dying.

It would be alright in the end though, because I would know I was loved and I was loved for who I was and what I am and even if it must pass at least for a brief shining moment, I was someone, to somebody.

That matters to me more than anyone can know.

…my best friend…