Title: To Kill
Author:
kawaii-kirei "KK"

Rating: PG-13 or T

Pairing: AsuKira, AthrunKira

Disclaimer: Gundam SEED and all of its characters do not and never will belong to me.

Author's Notes: This is just a random spur of the moment thing, so please forgive me if it's way OOC. –sweatdrop- it all started with a random thought of 'since they were always contemplating on wars and destiny, and those two doesn't really have a winning side or a losing side, it must be hard to think about it all the time, so they should be insane by now.' XD Of course, I don't think Kira's insane in this one… just in love… in a schizophrenic way. –cough-

And yes, writing this was a pain in the ass, and Kira's hysteria made me want to tear my hair out, but I hope you'll all enjoy it despite the uber OOCness of both characters. X3


To Kill

Athrun didn't know when it started, really.

It was all of a sudden that Kira kept on avoiding him. He would hasten his pace whenever Athrun would near, or stutter his way out of their conversation whenever Athrun would try to speak to him. Then every time Athrun would try to reach out, he would stiffen inconsiderably, and then Athrun would have take his hand back. And even though Athrun manages to squeeze a few words out of the boy, it has been days since they've actually made eye contact.

Athrun would wonder what he did wrong, rack his brain if he did something that could have hurt the other, but no matter how far he reached into his mind, he couldn't come up with anything.

In fact, they were fine just days ago. They were laughing like idiots over some silly joke, and then the next day, suddenly, Kira was far and distant.

What could have happened?

It was late in the night when he found out, when he woke from sleep due to incoherent and muffled sounds from the other room. He leaped out of bed in worry, wondering if Kira was okay. He opened his door quietly, walking down the hall with bare feet, until at last, he found himself face to face with Kira's door.

The noises were still there, and it was to his dread when he realized that they sounded like muffled whimpers and edgy cries. He knocked lightly, but gave him no reaction. He knocked again, louder this time, but even so, he got the same results. With a deep breath, he laid his hand on the knob and turned -- but got the surprise of his life when he heard the occupant in the room scream hysterically, and in panic, he burst open the door and ran in.

What he saw made his heart twist in this painful way that made him want to cry.

Kira shook his head frantically, curling up in his bed so that he could bury his face on his knees, his blankets shoved carelessly at the bottom of his bed. He cried, eyes wide and crying as he looked at his friend fearfully. "Please, Athrun... go away."

Athrun's eyes widened and he stepped forward, his arm reaching out, but he fell back with a pained expression when Kira cried louder and shook his head no. "Kira?"

"No... I -- Athrun..." Kira's whole body shook from muffled sobs, tears running down his face relentlessly. "Nononononono -- No! Athrun, I don't -- Athrun, please -- get away... get away from me."

Athrun stared, his heart recoiling at the image of his friend like that. "Kira, what..." What's wrong? What happened? Why are you like this? He wanted to ask, but wondered if he was going to get an answer to such meaningless questions. So he shut his mouth and stepped forward, ignoring Kira's screams and pleads for him to go away.

Then it happened. He heard it. When Kira cried, clutching his knees closer to himself, he heard it.

"Athrun, please... I don't want to kill you."

"Kira..." Athrun trailed off, reaching out and laying a hand on Kira's head affectionately, frowning when Kira merely stiffened and shook. "You're not going to kill me."

"No..." Kira whispered. "I don't want to... but... Athrun... who knows what I'll do? Athrun, if you die... I... can't --" And then he was back throwing hysterical fits, trying to throw away Athrun's hand, trying to shove Athrun far away, trying to inch away from Athrun, but Athrun was there, and he wouldn't leave, and Kira cried morosely as the other reached out to clutch him against a warm chest. "Athrun, no -- I... Athrun..."

And he was calming down, slowly with a few deep breaths. His breathed in and out heavily, his chest heaving and his whole body exhausted but he forced himself to ignore all that, forced himself to think only of the warmth coming from the person with arms around him.

"Kira..." Athrun clutched him close, trying to will away the tears forming at the back of his eyelids. He brushed his fingers through Kira's hair, brushing through soft locks tenderly and assuring as he tried to give as much comfort as he could. "Kira, nobody will die, alright? You won't kill anyone."

"No, Athrun! You don't get it! I don't want to kill you, but Athrun -- I... I don't know. I don't know what will happen if I... what if, Athrun? What if?" Kira shook his head frantically, grasping at the other's shirt desperately, clawing at his chest aimlessly.

Athrun muttered breathlessly, tears now falling from his eyes, "Kira, you won't. I promise. I won't let you, alright? Nothing will happen."

"No, Athrun... I --"

"Kira..."

"But Athrun!" Kira shook his head, knowing that he should push Athrun away, go away from him as far as possible, but it was so comfortable here, so warm... and because of that, he cried. Again, he felt the fear creeping up to him and dread filling his stomach. He tried to tear away from the warmth, tried to free himself, but it ended in failure. He screamed helplessly, pushing and shoving, but still Athrun held close to him. He struggled, limbs flailing wildly until finally -- warm lips fell on his and he stiffened, his whole body calming already.

He closed his eyes, whimpering against those soft lips sliding over his.

And then they pulled away, and Kira collapsed in exhaustion against the other, body still shaking. He wrapped his arms around Athrun's torso tightly, burying his face against the soft cotton of the other's shirt. "Athrun..."

"Kira, you won't kill anyone. I won't let you, alright?" Athrun smiled slightly, exhaustion visible on his face but relief as well.

And Kira nodded, wiping his tears away hastily with the back of his hand. His eyes widened when he felt a hand cup his cheek, and his eyes slid closed as Athrun's lips met his once again, and he sighed blissfully, feeling that warm tongue sliding against his in a way that comforted him, that made him feel that Athrun was alive, that Athrun was there and always will be.

- end -