Cataracta's Notes: Yes, yes you all know what this is. But never fear! I do have another full-length Mimori X Ryuhou story (lemon) in the works. I'll I need to do is just get off my ass and finish it. Enjoy!
"Ryuhou's heard the words somewhere before, but he just can't remember where. He's trusting a certain Miss Kiryu to show him. Mimori X Ryuhou"
He has heard the words somewhere before, he's sure. Where, he doesn't know, but the nagging feeling in the back of his head is telling him that he's heard them. But it's been too long, and it's been too difficult, opening up when he's spent so much time learning how to stay closed.
Except that now he's not sure he wants to stay closed. He's thinking maybe he should open up, except that he's scared (though he'd never admit it), so he doesn't. Or didn't. He's beginning to think that maybe he has opened up. Without his knowledge, without his consent or permission or acquiescence, he's become less of an ice block and more of something else.
Something human. Something capable of feeling all those wonderful and horrible and mysterious things he'd never allowed himself to feel before. Emotion. Such a simple word. Such a simple, orderly, by-the-book word. And he likes by-the-book things. Except that now he's not so sure that he does, and he knows that 'emotion' is not a simple word at all.
Too much comes with emotion. Joy, hate, love, fear, passion, happiness, yearning…and trust. It's not an emotion, he knows, but he does know that when one shows their emotions one trusts the person they're showing them to. And that's what scares him, he thinks.
Trust. Also a simple, orderly, by-the-book word. But it isn't. It's not simple, it's complicated. It's not orderly, it's chaotic. It's not by-the-book, it's completely unlawful. Complicated because it's hard knowing who to trust. Chaotic because with trust comes other things, things that are harder to deal with. Unlawful because one has no control over it, not really.
But he's beginning to think that he's started trusting more than he originally thought. He'd trusted the Commander to help him carry out his goal. He'd trusted HOLY to help prevent others from feeling his same sadness (though by then he'd locked it away). He'd trusted Scheris to help control those who would destroy such a thing. And…he'd trusted Mimori.
He'd trusted her with so many things. Inconsequential things, perhaps, like managing to get out of bed in the mornings (she'd never been able to without the aide of many alarms and possibly foghorns), and keeping herself from getting killed and/or maimed while working at HOLY. But he'd also trusted her with something else.
He'd trusted her with his heart, without ever realizing that he had. He'd trusted her to realize that he wasn't ready to feel yet, was still incapable of it, and he'd been shocked and surprised when she'd complied. Except that now she wasn't.
Because now she is standing outside his apartment door, clutching the pendant that reminds him stars and gifts and happier times, and she is telling him something that he's not sure he wants to hear. But he does, and he finds that instead of calmly explaining that he can't, that he shouldn't, he's taking her into his arms and hugging her like she's going to run away.
But he realizes that she's not, that she never had, and that she never will. She is with him, and come hell or high water, she always will. Because he trusts her to, and that's enough for both of them. So when she whispers the words again, he crushes her tighter to his body and whispers them back.
"I love you."
.:it's only after we choose to open, that we realize we've been open all along:.
Cataracta's Notes: So? How was it? Let me know!