For my good pal Saa! T'was her idea… mostly. As you can tell, it's a Kyoru story, because I think it's the roxorxxor. Yeah.
BUT THEN! IN A FLASH OF LIGHT-SAMA IN THE WRONG STORY!
Dukoro and Saa make a special, sexy (maybe) appearance. Woo!
Warnings: I don't own anything.
Disclaimer: Randomness, Language and OOC.
Tohru sat lazily on the grass of her school, with her two best friends, Uo and Hana. With them also sat Kyo, because he had nothing better to do than to listen to girl talk. Yuki was at a student council president meeting. Boohoo.
"This is so boring!" Moaned Kyo as he drank his Pepsi, which had been illegally imported, from both Australia and America (wow!). "Can't we talk about something else?"
"What," Uo scoffed, turning to the orange haired teen. "Isn't talking about dress sizes interesting enough for ya?"
"Then haven't we got the ideal game for you!"
The four friends turned to a bush, where two strangely accented voices came from. They were now giggling and shushing each other, and rustling so loudly, everyone could hear them.
"What the hell?" Kyo asked, because he always has to stick his nose into business which isn't his.
Suddenly, two oddly dressed girls jumped out. They had ridiculous grins on their faces and looked as if they could maul someone. Well, one of them could.
The brown haired girl laughed.
"Hiya!" She said very, very loudly. "I'm Dukoro! And this is-"
"I'm Saa and I can introduce myself!" Saa interrupted. Dukoro turned to her and elbowed her in the ribs. You see, Dukoro is Australian and Saa is American. Which has nothing to do with rib elbowing. TRICKED YOU!
"I sense that something very strange, perverted and uncalled for is about to happen…" Hana sighed mysteriously before standing up and hobbling away. Dukoro and Saa stared. They had never met Hanajima before.
"I've never met her before," Saa stated matter of factly. "But now I have!"
"ANGST!" Dukoro yelled, because angst is love.
You see, Saa and Dukoro had a purpose of magically coming to the land of Japan to meet up with the main characters of Fruits Basket (but not Yuki). They wanted to play SODA. Well, at least Dukoro thinks that's what it's called. Dukoro thrust a can of soda in Tohru face and pointed at it, with a huge grin on her face. Tohru shakily took it and thanked her.
"NO PROBLEM!" Dukoro said all to loudly, before allowing Saa to explain the purpose of the special visit.
"You are going to play soda. Because we said. And it's more fun than talking about dress sizes!" Saa said in her very American accent.
"And if you don't do it, we'll castrate you!" Dukoro added, with an insane asylum person sounding laugh.
"No we wont!" Saa mumbled quickly, trying to prevent a war.
"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!" Kyo yelled, because Kyo always yells at people. Not only that, he's the only person around Dukoro could actually castrate. He didn't want his balls cut off.
"I will too!"
And then Dukoro shut up because Saa was trying to kill her. Again. Saa then turned to Kyo and his randomly empty soda can.
"Twist the can opener back and forth saying the alphabet. It'll be fun!"
"AND FUN'S GOOD!" Dukoro cried, because angst and crying things out is fun. Like castrating people!
Kyo fiddled with his can opener lid thingy. Obviously not wanting to be castrated, he did what he was told, like a good little kitten. I mean kitty. KITTY!
"…P, Q, R, S, T-" The rim snapped off and fell on to the ground. Dukoro stared at it long and hard, wondering why Kyo wasn't speaking Japanese. Saa looked up.
"I determine that… YOU LANDED ON A T! The person you love's name begins with a T,"
"My turn, my turn!" Yelled Dukoro, waving her hands around and accidentally slapping and very silent Uo in the head. Uo stared at Dukoro angrily before walking away in disgust. Dukoro laughed.
"My turn," Saa said, already beginning the glorious game. "…H, I, J, K-" The rim plopped loudly into her not yet drunken soda can. Angst consumed her. She wanted to drink that!
"Well," Dukoro sighed. "The person you love and going to marries last name begins with a K,"
Saa was pleased because that meant her Kurapika would become hers! HERS! Saa laughed evilly while Tohru raised her hand.
"What the hell are ya doing Tohru?" Kyo mumbled, which saved Dukoro the time and breath of yelling at the stupid girl. "Just go!"
So she did. "…Q, R, S-" The rim cracked and clanged inside her empty soda can, which she had politely drunken whilst everyone was arguing.
"THE PERSON YOU SHALL MARRY! HIS LAST NAME BEGINS WITH AN S!" Dukoro declared, because declaring was better than yelling.
"Oh!" Tohru said, shocked. "I know many people who's last name begins with an S!"
All the Sohma's suddenly flashed through her mind and scarily stopped at Ritsu. Tohru shuddered and pointed to Dukoro.
"Your t-turn…" She stuttered.
Now Dukoro, really, really, REALLY wanting to get Kyo's initials so she could bawl her eyes out and get married to him (WTFOMGBBQ?) whipped her soda can rim really fast, because she has a wickedly unusual wrist.
"…E, F, G-" It cracked and plonked into her empty FIZZY can. Dukoro could cry, but she didn't. Because then everyone would hate her and never speak to her again.
"Ah… Dukoro?" Saa said softly. "The person your going to marry… hois last named begins with a G…"
"Woo?" Dukoro asked, because she didn't want to sound angsty. "Anyway, your turn, Kyo," She said angstly to the person she oh so wanted to attack.
Saa threw a can she had bought with her at him. He thanked her.
"…E, F, G, H-" Snapping, the lid thingy fell inside. Everyone was silent. Except Dukoro. She was never silent. Even her breathing is loud, dammit!
"Well! The person you're going to marries initials are T.H!"
Kyo's eyes peeled over to Tohru who was staring at him already. He blushed.
"I uh… need to… pee!" He mumbled before getting up and walking off. Saa and Dukoro laughed. Saa began to twist hers, still laughing.
"…H, I, J, K-" Saa paused. "KURAPIKA!"
"I thought you liked Chazz!"
"EITHER WAY I'M HAPPY!"
Saa then did a happy dance. In the end, Dukoro got NG, who she has been asking for the past week who's initials they are. Do you know someone with the initials NG? If so, tell Dukoro! Because, in real life, while playing soda, she got that and she doesn't know who it is. Thankyou.
Tohru grasped the last can by the middle and concentrated on the task. She bent the lid back, going through the alphabet as she went.
"…I, J, K-"
Silence. Saa clapped. Dukoro also clapped, because clapping is loud and Dukoro likes children. (…wtf?)
"I conclude," Saa said dramatically, as if impersonating Ayame. "That you are to marry Kyou!"
And Saa said Kyou because that's how she spells it! Woo!
It was then, time for Saa and Dukoro to leave and go back to their homes, on opposite sides of the world. Feeling that their job there was done, they waved to a blushing Tohru and disappeared into the unknown universe which links people with anime characters.
Saa, I hope you like this.
It's kinda… dead.
BUT WOO ANYWAY!