Author's Note: I know all about the technicality that the Pharaoh (aka Yami Yugi or Yu-Gi-Oh) doesn't have a body of his own and he's gone on to the afterlife. Screw that! This is fanfiction! He is here in the flesh – just don't ask me how.

Situation: Varon and the Pharaoh are being interviewed. Since FF doesn't allow script format, my narrative is a bit bare boned.

Interview: a drabble

By Pearl of the Dark Age

July 13, 2006

The interviewer stood before the two duelist, who were both sitting in fold up chairs. "Who is the world's greatest duelist?" he asked.

Varon raised his hand while simultaneously exclaiming, "I am, mate!" The Pharaoh gave him a sideways look of polite incredulity.

"Who truly understands the Heart of the Cards?" the interviewer continued.

"I do! Me!" Varon ejaculated before the Pharaoh could open his mouth. The glare the brunette received went unnoticed as he fixated his boyish gaze eagerly upon the interviewer for the next question.

"Okay…" the interviewer said slowly. "Moving on… Who has the springiest hair?"

At this, Varon jumped up and stood on his chair! "Me! Me! Me!" he shouted emphatically, waving his arms wildly.

The interviewer blinked a couple times and opened his mouth, but before he could get out the first two words, Varon yelled, "Me!"

The Pharaoh shook his head, aggravated. His patience had reached its limit. He reached up and pinched the offending interviewee.

Varon grabbed his butt in alarm and stared open mouthed at the Pharaoh, who was smiling nonchalantly. "Oy, mate! That's not nice!" he exclaimed.

In a cool, suave voice, the Pharaoh replied, "Sit back down if you wish to keep your posterior inaccessible to me."

"Speak English!" Varon said loudly. "I don't get that goonah!" (1)

"Sit your ass down!" the Pharaoh shouted back. To the interviewer, he said in his usual calm, boastful voice, "I am the King of Games! I invented the Heart of the Cards! So the answers to questions one and two are 'Me!'"

"And for number 3?" the interviewer inquired.

The Pharaoh gave him a superior smile and shrugged. "I'll give that one to Aibou, (2) but really my hair is springier than his."

Varon glowered at him. "I'm cuter than he is!" he exclaimed madly.

The Pharaoh snickered. "No one is cuter than Yugi, but you do come close," he admitted. "I will concede that you are the loudest."

"Yay! I win!" Varon shouted triumphantly.

The interviewer gave up, tossed his papers to the floor, and walked out of the room, unnoticed by either of the two squabbling duelist.

End of drabble.

1. Aboriginal word meaning faeces. Used in general English in parts of Australia with a large Aboriginal population, including the Northern Territory (universally used), and in sections in other states.

2. Aibou is Japanese for "partner," (the old west slang 'partner,' not 'lover') which is what the Pharaoh calls Yugi in the Japanese version of the anime.