Sasuke and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

A parody of the children's story book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.


Ivy Aithne does not own anything recognizable in this parody. She simply owns the thought of making a Naruto parody of the brilliant Judith Viorst's book and a few humorous actions here and there. She would also like to note that Sasuke is four in this fic and therefore not OOC.
When I saw my reflection in the mirror this morning, I knew that it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There was pink bubblegum matted all over my hair, and I had a bruise from tripping on my skateboard when I got out of bed. Then, I accidentally threw my favorite shirt with the family crest on the back into the sink while the water was running and then while I was taking a shower, I slipped in the bathtub. Then I realized that the bubblegum still wasn't out so I ran down to the kitchen to get peanut butter, but I forgot to put my clothes on so Okaa-san laughed at me. By the time I got the gum out of my hair, the bathtub was full of peanut butter and the maid who came to check if I was okay smacked my behind for making a mess, and that hurt.

It's going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At breakfast, Itachi-nii-san found a really awesome toy kunai in his breakfast cereal box, but in my breakfast cereal box, all I found was breakfast cereal.

I think I'll move to the Hidden Sand Village.

When Aniki wouldn't walk with me to school, Kaa-san walked me instead, and she held my hand. No one's parents walk them to school holding their hands! It was so embarrassing, and the dobe laughed at me when Iruka-sensei walked by us. He was on the sensei's shoulders, and my okaa-san was holding my hand. I told her my hand was being scrunched. I said it was being smushed. I said, "If you don't let go of my hand, I'm going to throw up." She didn't even answer.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At school, Kurenai-sensei liked Neji's drawing of a katana more than my picture of a jutsu that makes a person invisible. At taijutsu time, she said I hit Sakura too hard. At genjutsu time, she said I missed the dragon hand seal. Who needs the dragon hand seal anyway?

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell because Neji said I wasn't his number one rival anymore. He said that Tenten was his number one rival and that Rock Lee was his number two rival and that I was only his number three rival.

"I hope your eyes pop out," I said to Neji. "I hope the next time you get a double-decker cookies 'n cream ice cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in the Hidden Sand Village."

There were two cupcakes in Yamanaka Ino's lunch bag and Nara Shikamaru got a chocolate bar with almonds and Kiba's mother gave him a piece of jelly roll that had little coconut sprinkles on the top. Guess who's mother forgot to put in the dessert?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That's what it was, because after school Okaa-san took me and Nii-san to the dentist and Doctor Tsunade-sama found a cavity just in me.

"Come back next week and I'll fix it, Sasuke-chan" said the harpy.

Then she hit me on the head. I think I might have said that out loud. I rubbed my head and scowled at her.

"Next week," I said, "I'm going to the Hidden Sand Village."

On the way out, the door closed on my foot and while we were waiting outside for my mom to finish paying, Nii-san pushed me into the mud, and I started crying. Then he said I was a crybaby and while I was punching Nii-san for saying crybaby, Okaa-san came out and yelled at me for being muddy and fighting.

"I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day," I told everybody. No one even answered.

So then we went to the shoe store to buy some sneakers. Aniki chose back ones with red stripes. I chose blue ones with red stripes, but then the shoe man said: "We're all sold out." They made me buy plain old white ones, but they can't make me wear them.

When we picked up my Otou-san at his office, he said I couldn't play with his copying machine, but I forgot. He also said to watch out for the books on his desk, and I was careful as I could be except for my elbow. He also said don't fool around with the messenger pigeon, but I think I sent a letter to the Hidden Sand Village, telling them to come pick me up.

My Tou-san didn't want us to come pick him up anymore.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There were no tomatoes for dinner, and I love tomatoes.

Haruno Sakura and her mom dropped by to visit, and Sakura drew a heart on my face and kissed me. I hate kissing.

My bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my shuriken went down the drain, and I had to wear my teddy-bears-holding-flowers pajamas. I hate my teddy-bears-holding-flowers pajamas.

When I went to bed, Itachi-nii-san took back the pillow he said I could keep and the Uchiha fan night light burned out and I bit my tongue.

The cat wants to sleep with Aniki, not with me.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

My okaa-san says some days are like that.

Even in the Hidden Sand Village.


Okaa-san/Kaa-san: mother/mom

Otou-san/Tou-san: father/dad

Aniki/Nii-san: older brother


A/N: Haha-this was so much fun to write! Yes, I am very much alive, and Mission on the High Seas will be updated. Eventually. I promise. This particular fic just wouldn't get out of my head, and I was laughing through half of it.Please excuse my grammar-I am very well aware that I am missing commas and wrote run on sentences, but I was trying to emulate a little kid who was talking very fast in a very upset voice. Haha. Did it come across that way? Hope you liked it!