Summary: Love. Like whipped cream, sometimes you have to beat it outta them. Or completely and totally shock 'em. (one-shot, Humor/Romance)

Disclaimer: Toboe LoneWolf has no illusion of owning Naruto anytime in the future, as much as LoneWolf may wish.

Toboe LoneWolf: Tenten, weapons mistress. Who says she would only use sharp and pointy things? XP

An expansion of a certain line of my fanfic Weapon Dance. Not necessarily a prequel but rather just expanding on a fun idea. XD I'm also considering this fanfic to be practice on the…er…romantic side of things. (Um…a writer should practice writing different aspects? …Er…) But I couldn't help but have humor in this anyways. XD


Tenten growled as she leapt from tree branch to tree branch, drawing closer to the training grounds Neji and she used for their morning spars. She had something to settle with Neji, and dangnabbit, this time she was going to beat it outta him. Or at least, do something.

There was no doubt that Tenten liked Neji. As in "like like." There was also no doubt that Neji also "liked" Tenten. Everybody in Konoha knew it, and Tenten and Neji didn't deny it. (Well, now at least. At first, it was Denial River until a Few Explosions of Revelation occurred.)

But dangnabbit, there had yet to be Public Displays of Affection between the two of them, Tenten thought fiercely.

Not that Tenten was asking for French kissing in the middle of the Konoha plaza, or Neji to put up banners at the Hyuuga complex, or lavish dates every week, or for the two of them to be seemingly hitched at the hip whenever they walked together. (That just wouldn't be Neji anyway.)

But was it too much to ask for perhaps a smile, or sometimes an arm around each other's shoulders…just something, even once in a while?

Well, when Tenten was through with him, Neji would definitely be a Changed Man.

At least, that was the plan.

Dropping down from the treetops to land on her hands before springing to her feet, she pointed dramatically at Neji who was waiting for her.

"You," she stated flatly, "are going to Get It."

The capital letters were audible. In fact, if Neji had already had Byakugan activated, he probably could have seen them.

Neji's mouth twitched slightly as he saw Tenten pointing at him, bound and determined to make him do…something…in a pose that brought reminiscence of "Konoha's Green Beast, Rock Lee." He tilted his head a bit; he knew Tenten wasn't really mad, because when she got really mad she would turn a frosty, deadly white, and not the amusing red flushed face that she wore now. No, Tenten was simply in one of Those Moods again, when she latched onto an idea so tightly and there would be no persuading her. And like most males, Neji found it best to simply go along with Tenten.

She was really cute when she was like this, by the way. The way her brown eyes would turn a little darker and she'd blow her bangs up in frustration, one hand propped against her hip as she pointed those fingers with clear intention, and her face would slowly turn redder and redder as she got more and more agitated. Not that Neji would tell her outright. That was just Not Neji. (…Now, with a shipload of persuasion, perhaps.)

He stepped away from the tree, uncrossing his arms. "Make me."

Tenten raised one eyebrow. "Oh, I will."

Neji bent into a defensive position, readying himself for an assault of blades. Okay, so whatever idea Tenten had in her mind, Neji would just spar with her as usual, and he'd win as usual, and then after they were totally exhausted he'd ask ever-so-carefully just what Tenten wanted and then everything would be all right. Yep. That was the plan.

Tenten sprung at him, arms sweeping forward as she threw the first wave of weaponry.

Oh, he got an assault of blades all right.

An assault of kitchen knives, that is.

Neji dodged them all, of course, and he was of course not unnerved to see palm's width blades sinking into the tree trunk behind him. This was…just like the time Tenten wanted to try using anvils for traps one day. Just…something to try out. That's all.

He kept telling himself that as the next wave of weaponry also included that newfangled Western object called "forks," with the pointy tines looking eerily like tiny sais for his white eyes.

"Are you getting my point, Neji?"

…What? What point?

What followed afterwards could only be loosely described as a "spar" in so much as there were two people fighting against each other without the intent of killing, but that was about it. Certainly, this was the first ever spar in Konoha where the weaponry consisted of kitchen cutlery and food products.

Yes, food products.

How, pray tell, was Neji supposed to block liquid chocolate? And how had Tenten gotten her hands on liquid chocolate?

Neji had resorted to using the Kaiten almost constantly as Tenten barraged him with things like eggs (raw and hardboiled), paring knives, vegetables of all kinds, pies (fruit and cream), mixing spoons, bread, peanut butter, and spatulas, among other strange and weird things normally found in the kitchen.

Soshoryou will never be the same again.

For all of Neji's expertise, he had no idea of what to do when his sparring partner blew off the handle and started chucking things like massive roasting forks and bananas at him.

And Neji was utterly bewildered.

When he no longer heard the very strange sound of squishy things flinging off his chakra spin, Neji slowed the Kaiten. As the blue haze of chakra died down, he saw Tenten walking up to him, one hand on her hip, and Something Strange in her other hand. Completely confused, he let Tenten come right up to him, deactivating the Byakugan.

She lifted the hand from her hip and poked him in the chest. "Hyuuga Neji, never underestimate me."

He nodded mutely.

"And another thing: sometimes, Neji, a girl likes a bit of outward affection." Tenten raised her other hand. It was only then that Neji recognized what she held.

A can of whipped cream.

Neji had only time to widen his eyes in surprise before his face got squirted with a heavy layer of whipped cream.

Tenten dropped the can as she observed the sight in front of her. Neji, the Hyuuga Neji, proclaimed prodigy and genius of the Hyuuga clan, had his entire face covered with a frothy white coating of whipped cream, which made for a strange complement to his white eyes.

Now this was a new Neji.

Neji blinked slowly and deliberately as his genius mind processed what had just happened to him. He was still processing, in fact, when Tenten placed her hands on his shoulders, tiptoed upwards…and…wait, what was she doing?

Tenten was…licking…the…whipped cream…off.

Off his face.

Right now.

All sensibility and logic flew right out the proverbial window.

Sensations shuddered throughout Neji as he became powerfully aware of how close Tenten was to him, how her legs were intertwined around his as she pressed even closer to lick right next to his right earlobe, her tongue flicking out and wiping off wisps of whipped cream before stopping to nibble at the exposed skin, trailing down along his jawline to his chin, slowly cleaning away the white cream with her…very…deft…tongue.

"Mmm…tasty," Tenten said in a low-voice-that-Neji-had-never-heard-before. Her eyes were half lidded as she pulled slightly away to tap Neji on the nose. A bit of the whipped cream followed on her finger.

She hovered the tip of her cream-covered finger over her slightly parted lips as she smiled impishly, her face a bit flushed. There were spots of whipped cream on her cheeks and nose from where she had brushed very close to Neji; but all of Neji's attention was drawn to the finger that Tenten was currently licking the whipped cream off.

No, sucking.


…Wait, actually maybe they're good images—

—No. Bad. Definitely bad.

Tenten finished…licking the cream off her finger. Coming closer she placed her hands on Neji's chest. "Want to taste?"

Pressing slightly she proceeded to clean off the other side of Neji's face, consequentially getting some of the whipped cream on her as she carefully licked away the whipped cream. Her warm tongue caressed across his smooth skin, and Neji got a very intimate view as she reached even higher to lick away at the cream at his eyebrows, a flash of white teeth and soft lips lapping against the sensitive skin near his eyes. He swallowed hard as he could see – feel – Tenten swallowing the cream she licked off of him, and he couldn't help but wonder if she could taste him along with the whipped cream.

Yes, Neji is definitely tasty, Tenten decided. She inched even closer, rubbing her fingertips against Neji's shirt to massage against his chest. She could feel him breathing rapidly, his heart beating faster. Tenten was no gourmet chef to describe what Neji tasted like; only that he tasted like Neji, which was Really Good, and it didn't hurt that there was sweet fluffy whipped cream on top of it to boot. She relished in the taste and the feeling that this was definitely one of her better ideas.

One of her hands had crept up to the back of his neck as the other continued to rest against his chest, giving Tenten support as she reached for the high points. Neji could feel each individual fingertip like little spots of heat. Tenten's close proximity was wrecking havoc on Neji's senses, and he was fighting to keep the Bad Images at bay, barely holding on to his honor that was slowly slipping away.

He lost it when Tenten came back down and licked right over his whipped cream covered lips.

Neji growled and attacked Tenten's own lips with his, grabbing her arms and pulled her even closer. She squeaked at his forcible response, before her mouth was occupied. Breaking away from the kiss, Neji hungrily licked away at the bits of whipped cream that stuck to Tenten's face; but they were smushed so close together that the remaining whipped cream on Neji's face also stuck onto Tenten.

Somehow they ended up lying down on the grass, Tenten beneath Neji as he continued to kiss her fiercely, as if demanding for Tenten to return the whipped cream she had licked off. Tenten chuckled, and proceeded to finish licking the rest of the whipping cream off of Neji as he did the same to her face.

But that was before Neji reached for the discarded can and covered Tenten's face with whipped cream. And began to do the same to Tenten as she had done to him. Their bodies began to tingle pleasantly, but whether that was due to a sugar buzz or…other things…wasn't certain.

Oh, yes. Tenten, him, and whipped cream was very, very good.

x x x x x

The local villagers of Konoha thought nothing strange to see Neji and Tenten walking together after their morning spars, except for the fact that Neji was holding a can of whipped cream. But that wasn't too unusual, considering that they regularly came back from their spars carrying strange objects – remnants of Tenten's experimenting with different flying projectiles. And if their faces were a bit flushed, well, that was to be expected after intensive sparring. And if they leaned against each other slightly, well, that was to be expected too. And if they were smiling a bit, well, the two of them were training addicts, so that was just natural.

As they walked down the street, Neji angled his head slightly to look at Tenten. "Tenten, just wondering…just what was the purpose of using this?" Neji gestured with the can of whipped cream, which was empty. "Not that I'm against you using…different…weapons," he raised an eyebrow, "But I do want to know why you chose to…try this."

"Well Neji," Tenten answered with fake-solemnity, "I noticed that you are, in a certain aspect of your life, a wee bit afraid of a set of actions."

Neji raised his eyebrows at that. "Really."

"And also," Tenten pointed, "A ninja should train so that the unexpected becomes expected."

He nodded, continuing the train of mock-seriousness. "Of course."

"And of course, you would never expect me to use something like that."

Neji's mouth crept to a small smirk. "Indeed, I did not."

"So therefore, I decided to unexpectedly come at you using various other weapons in my arsenal, and directly using one in particular—" She pointed at the can, "—in conjunction with one of the various outward actions that you are skittish in using, so that the shock value could possibly correct your views. Consider it 'training' for the 'unexpected.' " Tenten looked at Neji out of the corner of her eye, winking at certain words. "And dare I think that perhaps you have reconsidered?"

Neji answered by kissing her full on the mouth, right there in the middle of the street.

And today all of Konoha learned that Neji was no longer afraid of Public Displays of Affection.

He pulled slightly away from the kiss, their noses touching. The two of them breathed quicker and Tenten's face was a bit flushed, as they ignored the loud exclamations of the old lady across the street that had dropped her wash basin in shock and was declaring loudly she had never seen such scandalous action before. Neji smirked.

"I think we need more whipped cream."