The last chapter! With this, my 3+ year long story has come to its end. I'd like to thank everyone that read this for keeping this going through the years despite many long breaks and whatnot, thanks for staying with it. It was fun to write and I can definitely say that from when I started to now that I've improved. Before GoW: Majora's Mask comes out I'm going to do a little bit with some of my other, neglected stories which I delayed updates on so that I could finish this. I hope that you enjoy the final chapter!
Also, YES! I passed 100 000 words!
Chapter 1 published July 14, 2006
Chapter 42 published December 18, 2009
Total days: 1252... yikes. I propose more regular updates next time.
Preventing the Future
"CURSE YOU... SAGES! CURSE YOU... ZELDA! Who is actually one of the Sages... Well I hate you more than the rest! Aside from Nabooru, the traitor. CURSE YOU... NABOORU! Oh, also you Darunia. You just piss me off for some reason. Also, FUCK YOU... LINK! Someday, when this seal breaks, I will exterminate your descendants! Or you if I get out fast enough."
Ganondorf was floating aimlessly in a white void. There was no floor, no walls, no roof, nothing but white. He crossed his arms.
"What if he doesn't procreate?" Gate asked, flying up beside him. "Or even worse, what if he's a eunuch? That would suck."
Ganondorf began to punch himself in the head, already regretting reaching out to grab the closest thing to him as he was pulled into the evil realm. Somehow Gate had been there.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to knock myself into a coma so I don't have to deal with you."
"I tried to do that once, it didn't turn out well. My head caught fire and turned into a pineapple! True story."
Ganondorf cried out in anguish. "No one deserves this fate..."
"Ganondorf has been successfully sealed inside the evil realm," Zelda reported.
"Before we go into that, I have a quick question," Link interrupted.
"What is it?"
"Why are we standing in the sky like there's a level plane?" The group was indeed standing in what appeared to be the sky, with blue and clouds above and below them.
"I do not like this," Barinade grumbled. "We are so high up that we cannot see the ground!"
"This isn't the sky. It's just a magical void that looks like the sky."
"Why can't we talk in a normal place?" King Dodongo asked. "I'm pretty sure that there's no reason t-"
"Everyone should SHUT UP ABOUT THE DIMENSION!" The talkers went quiet. "Good. Now I should be saying that all this death, destruction, et cetera is my fault by trying to get to the Triforce before Ganondorf, who didn't have a chance to begin with, instead of leaving it to someone older and more experience... but this is your fault, Link."
"You could have easily left the Master Sword in the pedestal and prevented this whole deal from happening!"
"Actually, that would not have worked," a voice said. Kae Gae flew out of nowhere and landed beside Zelda, staying out of her arm's reach. "The timeline would split if something in the past changes the future, so this timeline would have been doomed. So this is your fault, princess." He hopped further back when she threw a punch at him.
"So this isn't my fault, and I did the best that I could! YES!" Link pulled out a large banner saying 'I DID GREAT' and threw confetti into the air. He reached into his pocket and grabbed a bag of party hats, holding one out for Gohma. She stared at him blankly.
"Okay, fine, it's my fault. That doesn't change what you have to do next, though. You need to place the Master Sword back in its pedestal and close the Door of Time so that Ganondorf cannot access it again. Doing this will also close the path between past and future. Give me the ocarina so I can return time to normal."
"Can't I just put the Master Sword back?"
"Trust me, this will be very different. You will be returned to before the sword had even been removed. I want you to find me and convince me to get Ganondorf arrested before he kills most of the castle town."
"Leave everything to me!"
"...Navi, I want you to find me and convince me to get Ganondorf arrested before he kills most of castle town."
"Good. Now give me the ocarina."
Link pulled out the blue ocarina and passed it to Zelda. "Can I keep that one when I go back? Saria's is really bad."
"I can hear you," Saria said from inches behind Link. He screamed and hid behind Bongo Bongo. "By the way, the balloons and cakes just came in. Where do you want them?" she asked Zelda.
"Just bring them to the ranch."
"What are balloons and cakes for?" King Dodongo asked almost immediately after that.
"The party that will celebrate Ganondorf's defeat which we're holding at the Lon Lon Ranch. And Link, before you ask, you can't come." She played the Song of Time and a pillar of light began to surround Link. "Bye forever!" He disappeared in a flash of light.
Zelda picked up the Triforce of Courage. "Now what will I do with this?"
-Immediately after Link was sent back-
Ganondorf nursed his bruised forehead. "I told you that it would hurt," Gate said to him.
"And I told you that I knew it would hurt and that that was the intention," he growled. "Time to find a way out of here. I refuse to be stuck with you for an eternity!"
"Can I come out too? It would be lonely in here alone... I get lonely when I'm alone."
"I'm sure you do." Ganondorf swam through the air, hoping that he was moving. "Time to think of-" He ran into something. "The hell is this?" Ganondorf felt what was apparently there, finding a sort of wall. He covered his fist with magic energy and punched as hard as he could, easily breaking through the wall. He stretched the hole and stuck his head through. "It's Hyrule! That was really easy."
-Later at the Lon Lon Ranch-
The party was grand, the ranch completely packed. Everyone from everywhere was there, from the Kokiri to the Gerudo. There were also Gorons, Zora, townspeople, and Deku Baba.
"Ya know Ingo, I always loved ya," Talon slurred, his arm around Ingo's shoulder to support himself. He took another chug of beer.
"Thank you, Talon," Ingo muttered as he tried to avoid having the beer spilled on him. "Oh look, it's Malon! Go hang out with her for a bit, okay?"
"I-Ingo! Help me chase that bird!" He tried to run but fell on his face.
"That's what happens to you after forty beers," Ingo muttered to himself before walking off.
"DANCE OFFFFFFF!" Biggoron screamed, jumping to his feet. The ground shook under him as he began to dance. "Who willlllll challennnnnnge me?"
"I shall!" King Zora exclaimed, struggling to his feet.
Medigoron gave him a disbelieving look. "You're kidding, right?"
"No!" King Zora managed to stand, wobbling slightly but staying up. "Back in my youth, I was quite the dancer! Then my wife died and I got fat and lazy."
"That never happened," a Zora sighed.
"Bah, I'll show you!" He spun and began to break-dance wildly, doing things that many people didn't even know were possible. He was given many awards and eventually made the new King of Hyrule. Well, that was his concussion induced dream after falling over and landing on his head due to an attempted spin.
"None stand againssssst ME!"
"Come on, let me go down and party! I can so beat him in a dance off!" Nabooru whined.
"No," Impa said. "I was told to not let you party after you almost doomed the world by leaving the sealing to play pool!"
"Oh yeah... I still say it was worth it."
"I think I'll stay and rest for a bit," Saria said from atop Darunia's head. "Sealing the king of evil in a different dimension took a lot of energy."
"I am going to party with my brothers!" Darunia exclaimed. "Princess Ruto, would you like to come with me?"
"Navi may be there... Yes I will!" Ruto jumped off of the peak and began to run down the side of the mountain.
"I was going to use Sage hocus-pocus to get us there, but that works too." He curled into a ball and rolled down the mountainside at full speed, slowly catching fire as he sped up.
"He's gruff but loveable," Impa commented.
Nabooru shivered, remembering her inauguration into the Sages. "When he's not trying to hug you, then he's terrifying."
"Yes he is Nabooru, yes he is."
Link opened his eyes to find himself standing before the Master Sword. He held up his small, ten year old arms, comparing them to his medium sized, seventeen year old arms. "Oh well, it has to be done... or does it?" He eyed the Master Sword.
"NO!" Navi punched him. "Don't you dare touch that sword! It's quiet and peaceful now..."
At the sound of footsteps they turned, seeing Gohma and King Dodongo walking inside. "You'll never guess what happened!" Link exclaimed. "I get the third stone, but then Ganondorf comes and kills everyone! Then I pull out the Master Sword, go to the future, and become the biggest, best, and most powerful hero ever! I beat Ganondorf and save the world, then get sent back here!"
"I, BARINADE, do not approve of this lie!" he was blindsided by a blunt metal object, one that almost knocked him unconscious. It made quite the bloodstain.
Navi's eyes widened as she saw Barinade carrying the Megaton Hammer. "No... No! No, I refuse! NO!"
"What's she blabbering on about, Koume?"
Koume sighed. "She obvious hates us all and thought that going back in time would be an escape."
"She's not alone," Gohma grumbled. "I'm going to get drunk."
King Dodongo's head jerked toward Death Mountain. "My bar, it's MINE!" He laughed maniacally and ran off. The townspeople's screams could be heard.
"Never mind that. I'm going to get high."
"No! Don't leave me with them Gohma!" Navi begged as Gohma walked into the distance. More screams followed. "You're the only sane one left!"
Phantom chose to ignore this.
Bongo Bongo became visible. "I don't think that we should leave through the main town, it has a wee little chance of causing a panic. We need Ganondorf arrested, not us."
"I don't think we'll be arrested," Volvagia hissed as he looked at the town. "Many will die, yes, but we won't be arrested."
"You sound happy about that," Bongo Bongo said suspiciously.
Navi had a blank expression on her face as she stared at them, unmoving. "I'd pat you on the shoulder, but that may crush you," Phantom said sympathetically.
"It... it's okay. Hey everyone!" They all looked at her. "I'm... I'm going to go and... pizza, get pizza! I'm going to go get us all some pizza." She rose, flying upwards and toward the window above them. Navi wordlessly went out the window.
"See you in a bit!" Link yelled.
"She ain't coming back," Phantom muttered. "I'm going to get drunk, where did Kingy go?"
"Follow the destruction," Barinade told him.
"A specific area would be nice."
Link sighed, walking out of the door of time and closing it. He noticed that he only had two spiritual stones meaning that Darunia knew about him and Ruto was not after Navi. Oh, the Deku Tree was dead too. That didn't make him worry as much as Darunia knowing about his existence and openly wanting to hug him. "Off to Princess Zelda!"
"PREPARE THE FORCES! ARM YOURSELVES, GET BACK UP!" A bell began to ring as soldiers filed out of the castle, surrounding Link, Barinade, Phantom, Volvagia, Morpha, Bongo Bongo, Koume, and Kotake. The cannons were aimed and all soldiers pointed their weapons at the group.
"I think we need a different approach," Phantom said, backing up a bit.
"Stop humming that," Koume snapped.
"It's my sneaking theme!" Link declared before going back to humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. He ran out of his hiding spot, beat the guard unconscious with his shield, and then continued sneaking through the castle garden.
Outside, Bongo Bongo and Volvagia were playing cards with Kae Gae.
Link found Zelda staring in the window again. "Ganondorf in there again?" he asked her.
"No," she said, turning around. "My dad hired someone to wrap my birthday presents and I- Who are they?"
"I AM BARINADE!"
"Morpha at your service."
"She is Kotake."
"And she is Koume."
"I am Phantom Ganon, unrelated to Ganondorf."
"I have a great story to tell you! I got the third stone, then Ganondorf came in and killed everyone! I got the Master Sword and was frozen in time for seven years, then came out as a huge, powerful, incredible warrior! I went around guided by a ninja, made an army of nine, and kicked Ganondorf's ass! You sent me back to now so you could get Ganondorf arrested before he goes and kills everyone again! It was so cool."
Phantom then explained things more coherent and truthfully.
"So now I need to get Ganondorf arrested... You do know that I've been trying that for weeks, right?"
"I have a way to solve that." They turned to see Gohma suddenly in the area. "You told me to..."
-A few days later-
"Ganondorf has been captured," Zelda announced. "That was some good thinking, future me."
"I'm surprised that it worked," Link admitted. "It seemed kind of insane, especially the part where the cake was put on the bear trap and set on fire."
"I'd like to punch you and say that that never happened," Gohma groaned. "I really, really would... but you're right."
"The country is saved," Zelda proclaimed. "It's technically thanks to me, but I'll let you all have the glory this time. Good job Link, you did well."
"After spending all that time with future you, hearing you compliment Link is like having your own mother kick you in the groin," King Dodongo said. "Unexpected, confusing, and painful. Seriously, you saying that physically hurt me."
"You're all really mean," Link told him.
"I'm going drinking," Phantom said.
"Party at Dodongo's Tavern!" King Dodongo declared. "Everything is one rupee off!" He paused. "Nah, never mind that. Everything is still full price."
"You know Koume, this may be the perfect time to go off to an unknown part of the world and set up that store we've always wanted to," Kotake said. "There's still us to manage the Gerudo so nothing will go wrong."
"Sounds fine to me, Kotake. We can sell those potions we've been working on."
"Yes, that's a great idea Koume!"
"Wait, so you weren't thinking it already? That was a big part of setting up the shop."
"Shut up Koume."
"I will stay here and bask in the glory of being a hero!" Link announced.
"That's very good." Link froze and looked up, seeing Kae Gae perched above him.
"GUARDS! ARMY PEOPLE!"
"Quiet Link. You have done a good job up to this point, stopping Ganondorf twice and gaining many allies in the process." Kae Gae nodded to himself. "Now you can go looking for Navi in a far off land where you will encounter a mask wearing Skull Kid and get involved in another adventure that will be even more perilous and have more enemies and allies after you get turned into a potted plant for three days."
"You heard me."