Link as a redneck! A day in the life of Link.

By: Shannon

(NOTE: I do not own the characters in this fanfic and any references to Jeff Foxworthy's stuff and apologies for anything else).

Weeeeeeeeeeelllll, HOWDY y'all! Mah name iz Link and I is king of this here place called Hyrule. This here place is reeeel nice. In Lake Hyleeeeeeyaaaah (Lake Hylia), they gots ah' fishin' hole an' I go there sumtimes to do a leetle fishin' but da' guy who works there sahs he won't let me use the cuckoo I got fer bait.

Well, in the mornin' after a leetle fishin', I goes to Lon Lon Ranch fer a leetle ridin'. Me an' Epona, the hoss I gots, we do runs and jumps an' all kinds o' stuff. Someday I wanna ride that new bull Talon has in his stable but he sahs that the bull isn't fit fer ridin' cuz' he injurd a tourist who tried to feed im' hay.

Well, after I goes ridin', I sit back and take a break at home wi' some Hyrulian RC Cola and a couple of Moon Pies. Then I takes a nap er' two an' I wakes up an' goes huntin'. Mah wife sumtimes complains of the 10 point buck I got one time. I dunno why she does! It makes a great dinner table centerpiece but she sahs it attracts flies an' stuff.

After I goes a' huntin', I brings home some good ol' venison for dinner. After a hearty meal, mah belt buckle would allwahys fall off my belt for some reason. Maybe it's cuz' it weighs bout' 3 and a half pounds and I do gain a little weight after dinner.

After spendin' some time with the young un's I gots, I goes to sleep af'er a hard day but sometimes I end up sleepin' in the parlor couch cuz' my wife says I snore a lot. I don't think I snore cuz' I shure nuff haven' heard mahself sleep.

The nex' mornin', I wakes up to a breakfast of bacon, eggs, leftover venison, pancakes, sausage, biscuits n' gravy, an' a little grits. Ever' mornin', I ask my wife to make me breakfast and when I do, she allwahys gits mad an' yells at me an' tells me to "make mah own breakfast." Why should I make mah own breakfast when I have a wife to do that fer me?