Sorry I took so long to update, dear readers. The library took my copy of 'The DaVinci Code' back. Curse them. But I am back in business, so all is well. Thanks to those brave few who came back.


Just when it looked like the book was actually getting a little exciting, there was some annoying, boring stuff about the Bishop that trained Silas. All you need to know is that he is a bad, bad man, who got a bunch of funds from the Catholic church via nefarious ways. Shake your finger in his direction. Severely.

Car chase! Explosion! Bad language! Dead old women! Train station! Sudden stop!

That was how Langon would summarize his trip from the Louve to a random train station while he was discussing the event with his psychologist many years later. It was not a bad way to put it. The trip have been so fast and violent, using full sentences and normal punctuation would not do the brevity and gore of the drive justice. It was like a roller coaster. That killed people.

In the station parking lot, Sophie shoved Langdon out of the car. Then she shoved herself out of the car. That was somewhat more difficult. As she toppled onto the pavement, she said, "Alright fatboy. Go get us some tickets outta Paris. Use yer credit card."

Unwilling to incur Sophie's wrath, Langdon waddled away and purchased the tickets, pausing only to buy himself a hamburger to replace all the food he had lost being ill throughout the night. He was dismayed to discover it was actually a snail burger. "Stupid french people! Why do you eat things that don't have organs! Or bones!" Langdon howled, brandishing his burger. He was about to throw it away, when he realized that he probably wouldn't get to eat another meal before he and Sophie were caught and went to prison. So, he ate the burger anyway.

Langon returned to Sophie's side. While he had been gone, she had doused her car in gas and lit it up. Diminishing evidence, apparently. "Here's the tickets! Can we go now?" asked Langdon, grinning widely. "I've always wanted to go to Lille, so I.." Sophie snatched the tickets and ate them.

"Heeey..." Langdon whined. That had not been the reaction he had wanted. "Bad Sophie. Bad. No chewing on the tickets."

"They were just a decoy, ya idiot. Not get in the taxi!" Sophie shouted needlessly. She had already forced Langdon into one of the seats. A sketchy looking man, who wore thick blue mascara and lipstick, waved coyly at Langdon from behind the wheel.

Langdon waved back idly. He had been to New York. The world held little mystery for him after that experience.

"Anyway, while you were goofing off at the train station, I figured out where to go with this key." said Sophie as she got in the taxi. "As it turns out, there was an address on there. Mysterious huh?"

The address, written in Sharpie marker, was glaringly obvious even in the low light. Langdon wondered how they had missed it.

"Take us to 24 Rue Hanso." said Sophie happily to the trans-something driver. Nodding womanishly, the driver took off. He was a better driver than Sophie, but not by much.

"Now then." said Sophie, picking a hypodermic needle from the seat of the taxi and flinging it out the window, "What do you know about the Priory of Sion."


Had the police guard who had stopped Langdon and Sophie not been brutally murdered, the Commissioner would have killed him. Kicking the already battered corpse, the Commissioner spat angrily at the floor. "You pansy faggity fag fag! How could you let them get away! Merde! Crap on a stick! Now what am I to do!" Munching angrily on the a croissant retrieved from nowhere, the Commissioner grabbed an unlucky police intern by the throat. The other attending officers shrunk back like salted slugs.

"YOU!" screamed the Commissioner, getting croissant bits up the unfortunate police officer's nose. "YOU DUMP THIS BODY IN THE RIVER! AND DO IT RIGHT! I DON'T WANT TO FIND THIS THING FLOATING AROUND NEXT WEEK! MAKE SURE TO SMASH THE MOUTH LIKE I TAUGHT YOU!" With that, he threw the unfortunate officer to the Louve floor.

That accomplished, the Commissioner was about to turn on the cowering officers behind him. Eye's flashing in the red light of the 'EXIT' sign, the Commissioner wheeled around...only to slip in a puddle of blood and fall right on his ass.

There is nothing more funny than an angry frenchman on his ass.