"You know what your little prank cost me?"
Ah, Logan Echolls. With his eyes firecracker bright and his lips curled into that darling evildoer smirk, I already knew that the tire jack in his hands wasn't there because he just wrapped up being a Good Samaritan a few minutes ago.
"Well, your bong."
And my wit cost me a headlight. And I really liked that headlight.
"Eeehnn" he makes a buzzing noise. "Wanna guess again?"
"Clearly your sense of your humor."
Yeah, and mine just cost me my other headlight. Aw, darn it was my second favorite.
"Nope. You'd think you, of all people, would be able to connect the dots, Veronica Mars. Hmm maybe I need to get you a magnifying glass for Christmas." He contemplates out loud, pausing to dent my ill-fated Le Baron. "Every good detective has one."
"Well now I have something to live for until December."
"Oh don't not swallow rat poison on my account."
"What can I say, Logan? You're my one true reason to keep on truckin'"
"My car." And suddenly he shifted gears.
"My beloved T-Bird is what it cost me. And you know what I won't be having for some time, now?"
He inched closer to me in a manner I think was supposed to be menacing. This was considerably lessened by the fact that I could smell his afternoon cheeseburger on his breath.
"Fun, fun, fun."
"I'm genuinely disheartened by your plight."
"Well, I'm guessing that your little crackerjack prize getting all roughed up hasn't helped." He smiles, cocking his head "Sorry about that. My hand slipped."
"Oh don't worry. What really concerns me is that you'll have to ride your bike to school everyday."
"Well seeing as your car is… indisposed. I'm guessing you're gonna need to ride in my basket."
"Just as well," he smirks and glances at his toadies to indicate he's about to say something clever. "Who knows how many baskets you've ridden in already…"
Ah, I see. It's a euphemism. How clever.
"You know what they say. You let one worldly gal touch your basket and you're touching all the baskets she's sat in…"
His buddies chuckled moronically and he basked in their approval like a kitten in the sunlight.
"Geddit? Geddit? Cuz you're a whore."
Okay, so I don't usually let Logan Echolls get to me. But there was a weird combination of the grin on his face, and the pack of 09ers chuckling on my account in the presence of my new buddy, Wallace, that left me feeling quite miffed.
Oh and the fact that he was shamelessly destroying my car.
So, okay, yeah I broke out the taser. And I gave him a teeny tiny jolt of electricity.
"Geddit? Geddit? Cuz you're a jackass."
"FUCK!" He buckled over, his eyes shut in pain and suddenly I felt very sorry. "Good God, woman have you gone completely mental!"
"Says the guy wailing on my car!"
"Hey, what I had was a car! This little piece of shit, you got out of a Big Kid's Meal."
"Mighty Kids Meal, I'll have you know."
"I hate you."
"I think I'd rather not. I was hoping to avoid VD this year."
"Then I recommend slapping on a condom before cuddling with Dick Casablancas tonight."
"Hey…" Dick chimes in from the pack "Dick's aaaaaall about the vaginas, baby…"
Logan didn't respond. Instead he opted to silently glare at me. Had he been a half a notch lower on the evolution scale, I'm pretty sure he would have growled.
Ah but being the civilized human being he was, he just abruptly flung the tire jack through my windshield.
"Oops." No playful smirk. Just a guy who hates me.
"Somebody needs his Midol."
"Here," he mumbled, pulling out his wallet and handing me a credit card. "This should cover the repairs. And heck, go ahead and buy yourself a pretty little push-up bra."
"I don't want this," I replied, handing it back to him. He smirked and flicked it into the air.
It landed by my feet and he said, "Make it pink."
Walking away, he derisively added, "You look good in pink."
And they all hopped into Dick's mom's SUV and drove off into the setting sun.