Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the Series and all associated characters were created by Joss Whedon and are owned by Mutant Enemy. This story may not be sold or distributed on a profit-making basis.
Spoilers: end of Buffy and Angel.
Expecting the Unexpected
"So Xander and..." Faith raised an eyebrow, "Who'd have thunk it?"
"For a little over a year now, ever since L.A." Buffy nodded, "But I can't say I'm that surprised, given his history with women."
"Yeah, but still; Illyria?"
"Takes all sorts; as Giles would no doubt say."
"Who else knows?"
"You, me, Xander and Illyria of course, but I think that's it."
"Is it even possible?"
"Evidently, but I doubt it's planned."
"No; Illyria never struck me as the type. What are they going to do?"
"I think that depends on how long Illyria lets Xander live. She is apparently a little upset; says it's his fault."
"He's a man; of course it's his fault."
"I takes two too tango."
"They've been doing a lot more than that..."
"Faith, try and remain focused here."
"Sorry B; I guess I'm still a little surprised, is all. So, where is boy-toy?"
"In hiding: an angry Illyria is something to be feared."
"An angry and hormonal Illyria, at that."
"Indeed. I think I should go talk to her, while you try and pry Xander out of whatever hole his crawled into and tell him he has to stand up to his responsibilities."
"Can't I go talk to Illyria?"
"You really want to go talk to the angry, powerful and very hormonal Old One?"
"Point. You want my advice; take the scythe."
"Way ahead of you there..."
"So: canteen in an hour?"
"I'll bring Illyria if you can get Xander there."
"Even if I have to knock him out and carry him over my shoulder."
"Wouldn't recommend that: Illyria is still very possessive of him. She almost eviscerated Willow for hugging him last time he picked her and Kennedy up at the airport."
"Super-Smurfette doesn't like people messing with her man? I can get with that."
"Yeah, well it would probably still be best if you didn't bring up the fact that you're the one Xander lost his virginity to while Illyria is within earshot."
"Funnily, I never intended to bring that up in conversation."
"Anyway, you go find Xander, and I'll see if Illyria's morning sickness has passed for the time being."
"Oh happy days B; oh happy day..."
Sorry: Plot-Bunny that needed stamping on.